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Author Topic: Dwarves don't poop  (Read 16696 times)

Tigershark13

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #45 on: April 20, 2009, 09:32:41 am »

the optional idea is a nice one, maybe let you turn it on and off in Init?
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Duke 2.0

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #46 on: April 20, 2009, 09:46:10 am »

 Oh goodness...
 Definable poops.

 Cows, bricks, all kinds of things dwarves extract from themselves every once in a while.
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
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dafinchy

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #47 on: April 23, 2009, 11:15:11 am »

As my first post to this fine board I would like to add weight to the poo argument.

In serious terms I think it could be quite fun to have this new mechanic in here, adding a new way to lose, which of course, is always fun. And as there's already plans to add poison contaminants (to infect the water supply, among other things) and diseases, it does indeed make sense. The applications for farming, fuel, etc. are very interesting.

Of course the scope for humour is wide. Here's one I've not seen anyone mention yet: Sewer raids.
Goblins sneak up the waste pipe, trudging through accumulated filth, until they reach an opening. One unfortunate dwarf gets a rather rude shock as a spear is thrust up the bowl of the latrine, the goblins searching on for the next "entrance". The party clambers up out of the pot, but the last two are swept away by the periodic flush triggered every time a slow-filling cistern begins to brim. The remainders sweep through the inner portions of the fortress, slaughtering craftsdwarves while the armies are preocuppied with the larger force taunting at the gates, afterwards slinking out the back passageways without detection.

"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"

Also, magma men should drop obsidian "logs"
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ScreamingDoom

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #48 on: April 23, 2009, 11:57:33 am »

- Similarly dwarves should probably not be required to use the bathroom very often - say once every 6 meals or something. While this is perhaps unrealistic (though I hear dwarves have iron bladders) it would avoid the problem of dwarves constantly needing to use the bathroom.

This screams out to be modified by the new injury/sickness stuff. Punctured intestine? Well, that dwarf will have to go more often now. Got cholera? You'll be spending a lot of time on that -obsidian toilet- (and drinking).

I also would really like to see sewage management added to the game. It has so much potential! When you start a fortress, you'd just designate some area outside as a latrine (maybe a special subsection of the refuse pile designation?). Later on, you could build toilets which are much preferable to crapping out under the terrifying sky.

Plus, I look forward to:

Ungar Tolstik, Swirlbowls
This is a masterwork toilet in granite. It menaces with spikes of iron and is encircled with bands of goblin bone. On the base is a picture of a dwarf. The dwarf is fertilizing a field. On the object is a picture of Ungar Tolstik, the masterwork toilet.
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Wild Goose

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #49 on: April 23, 2009, 11:58:57 am »

Ah, the Recursive Quantum toilet.  Disposing your waste in a paradox, eh?

Hate to get a swirly in one of those.
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The dwarven economy is just a stand-in, from what I understand. As it is, it represents an actual economic system about as well as poison ivy represents a salad.

salttotart

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #50 on: April 23, 2009, 01:01:33 pm »

"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Your first post and it's awesone.  That's getting sigged.
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If this all doesn't fix it, your dwarfs are lazy. Apply magma.
"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

Retales

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #51 on: April 23, 2009, 01:13:44 pm »

Place the "toilet" stockpile outside in a cold environment, and you got yourself a crossbow bolt factory!
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salttotart

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #52 on: April 23, 2009, 01:15:11 pm »

Place the "toilet" stockpile outside in a cold environment, and you got yourself a crossbow bolt factory!
That is horrible yet very Fordian.  I'm having trouble deciding whether I like it or not.
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If this all doesn't fix it, your dwarfs are lazy. Apply magma.
"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

jaked122

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #53 on: April 23, 2009, 03:36:25 pm »

And yes, this is my first post. Disturbing...
ah the pain of a newbie... :)

ThtblovesDF

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #54 on: April 23, 2009, 03:47:03 pm »

No, no, nonononono...

Simply because I dont want to see 3 threads in the Fort section saying;

"Why aer may dawrfs br0wn?"
"Various Combat uses for poop"
"My poop trap, now flooding gobos with poop (ohlololololol)"

And in advent. Forum;

"Deamon killed with frozen body extracts!"
"Deamon killed with flaming dwarfen poop!"
"Poop blocked Arrow!"

In the modding forum;

"Homotherm 40:000 -> poop => Fun"

Just nononono....
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Byakugan01

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #55 on: April 23, 2009, 06:42:15 pm »

<Joke>Yes,yes, YES! It would make my Mordor project THAT much more evil! Think of the megaproject possibilities! The Shitfields of Browning Dwarf! Combo Shit/water/Magma falls! Burning rivers (Okay, my Mordor just got a new future goal)! Projectile Monkey armies (HFS!)! Carp dying of water poisoning! Topic Titles!</Joke> -though some of it, like the dead carp, was serious. Though considering what they can live in in RL, it would have to be so polluted your fishery would be completely ruined. The burning river was also completely serious. Especially if elves don't realize what pathing through the burning brook will do to them. One fire imp+1 chained kitten+polluted water inbetween+elves crossing said water=ownage.

In all seriousness though, you could avoid two or three of those topic titles by just making it a liquid if it comes into contact with water.

Edit: Problem Fixed.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2009, 09:31:41 pm by Byakugan01 »
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

salttotart

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #56 on: April 23, 2009, 09:19:51 pm »

and Shit Demons
Don't bring Dogma into this.
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If this all doesn't fix it, your dwarfs are lazy. Apply magma.
"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

Nyxalinth

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #57 on: April 24, 2009, 01:04:27 am »

Urist McMiner cancels Mine: Taking a dump
Urist McMiner was disgusted by a miasma lately

I can't believe I just went there...

 ;D
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Asehujiko

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #58 on: April 24, 2009, 02:45:41 am »

Ah, the Recursive Quantum toilet.  Disposing your waste in a paradox, eh?

Hate to get a swirly in one of those.

Reminds me on the sim city 4 way of dealing with garbage. City 1 exports it to city 2, which sends it, along with it's own crap to city 3, which passes it on to city 4, which them dumps everything back on city 1, where the cycle starts anew and the cargo phases out of existence somewhere down the line.
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Puck

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #59 on: April 24, 2009, 07:54:39 am »

Just like italy!
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