Journal
209
Jayj Strappinglenses
Mirroredtorches Town Manager, HoardmasterJournal, I have just been informed of something most distressing. It seems that I'm in charge.
I was carefully putting the finishing touches on my latest inventory of floodgates when I saw Byeard Maggott coming at me. Normally I try to avoid him in the halls -- he's most overfond of pointing his oversized crossbow at people, he walks out of the privy, totally alive, every time he dies, and he spends most of his time around that repulsive little Frugle and that horribly loathsome dwarf Uncle Evil -- but he was looking straight at me and I had nowhere to go.
"Erm, what can I do for you, Mr. Maggott? I've only just completed the inventory on ammunition three days ag---"
"Yeaah, see, you're not gonna have much time for counting for a while."
"But, erm... it's rather my job."
"Not anymore. You know that little 'town manager' job you're supposed to do?"
"Oh, well, I've signed all the latest job req---"
"It just got literal."
"...I'm sorry?"
"Ilurker, the boss, was designing the new dining hall. He got carried away with the grand plans, got drunk, and fell over the edge."
"O-oh dear, into the mag---"
"No, just onto the bridge in the middle. Wiped his memory out. It'll be a few years before he's good for management again. So you're it."
"M-me?! Run Mirroredtorches? B-but what about Veeman? Or Diefor?"
Maggott shrugged. "Busy with their own projects. Diefor called for a new governor, name of Grorx, but he won't get here until next year. Sorry, chub, you're elected."
"B-but...! I can't -run- this town---! I'm just a scribe, a-an inventory specialist!"
"Close enough for me. You've got two choices. Run this place for a year until this Grorx guy gets here, or play archery target."
"Arch---"
Journal, I'm quite distressed. I saw the ammunition not three days ago, but it looked rather -specially- imposing when loaded into Mr. Maggott's crossbow -- it's as big as he is! -- and pointed at me.
I decided I'd best give it the old scrivener's try.
Tomorrow I shall collect my thoughts and begin administration. Oh, dear, I do hope things don't go too roughly.
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Journal, it's been rather longer than a day. I've spent this week reading everything I could -- so few books in this place, and most of them are of mining or smithing -- to determine how to go about this. I think I know what it's all about, though. Efficiency! Just as in counting, things must be exact, precise, and smoothly organized. I dimly remember some of the other administrators talking of grand plans, but I've little competence in such. I shall simply run things smoothly until Mr. Grorx gets here from the capital.
Early on this week, I did learn that we've done no exploratory mining. I was a bit distressed, so I had the miners start laying out plans for up/down staircases, four levels deep and separated from any other staircase by two blocks of rock.
Apparently, there's a risk that a miner may slip down the stairs one of these days, but I feel it's a small price to pay to know exactly what every cube of rock contains.
Every four levels, I shall offset the stairwell by one space, in the hopes that this shall minimize the damage to any unfortunate miner who slips. They shall only fall four levels rather than all the way down. Hopefully.
Tomorrow I shall do a walkthrough of Mirroredtorches and have a look at the work roster.
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GRUNGNI'S BEARD
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I'm sorry, Journal, I was quite overcome. I should not have cursed such. Yesterday I spent much of the day gibbering at the walls, though. I'm afraid I said much worse things than I wrote. The work roster, in short, is an awful mess. I shall devote the next two days to an extensive review and reorganization.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah. That's better. Journal, I have completed my review and reorganization. I'm quite pleased. It's much cleaner, and more importantly, OPTIMIZED.
I have broken them up into categories with descriptive names. Each dwarf has their skills permitted in every skill related to that category, regardless of skill level, though they will not go in that category should they not have competence in at least -one- of those skills.
I've a feeling that Grorx and other administrators may feel that a dwarf has no business attempting so many jobs that they're unskilled at, but really, Journal, isn't it better that everyone has a job? If there's one thing I can't abide, it's dwarves lazing about with a legitimate excuse. They shall have work to do, whether they're good at it or not! At least things will get DONE!
I have assigned numbers, or sometimes proportions, for each job. One of the books of previous administrators of other towns had many reports of testing, and these seem to be the optimal numbers to fulfill common tasks without leaving dwarves unemployed. More may be temporarily assigned for specific events, but honestly, I can foresee no situation such as this.
With that in mind, here is the breakdown:
Allsmith (4 dwarves): All four smithing tasks, plus furnace operating and gem cutting.
Beastlord (2 dwarves): Dealing with animals (they're also the only ones who may haul beasts), plus fishing and trapping. Hunting is disabled -- we've more than enough food, and it's too dangerous out there. I still equipped them with crossbows and leather armor, just in case.
Bolter (2-4 squads of 3-4): Crossbow marksdwarves. They shall man the fortifications during sieges. I've already formalized the arrangement to put the Byeard Maggott, Uncle Evil, and Frugle in a squad; they enjoy shooting things and other... unsavory behaviors far too much for anyone else to want to associate with them. I also took the platemail off them and gave them chain; plate is pointlessly thick, spoils their aim, and drags them down.
Crafter (4): Bonecarving, glassmaking, stonecrafting, woodcrafting, strand extraction... the whole bit. Honestly, though, I've not much for them to do now, there's already plenty of all that sort of thing. They've been given cleaning, food hauling, and refuse hauling to keep them busy; they can return to their duties if we need things, well, crafted.
Domestic (3 for every 100 population): They shall do everything in the domestic survival category save for farming and plant processing. All the cooking, butchery, brewing, milking, all of it. For all their duties, though, these are only occasional; we've plenty of food and drink for the moment, and it's quickly made. They shall make potash for the time being.
Grudgekeeper (1/10 pop): The fortress guardsmen. I've not quite enough in here now, I fear, and the Hammerer may take things into his own hands because of it. Oh, dear, I hope I don't give insult while all the Grudgekeepers are busy... I much like my skull -convex-. The Grudgekeepers, at least, are given chainmail and no weapons.
Hauler (Approx. 1/4 of population): If you've a useless or redundant skill, you shall work in the hauling corps! We need MANY of these, for the lifeblood of any fortress, it appears, is the hauling crew. They shall move everything save animals, thus allowing those with specific jobs to do them without getting caught up in moving things about. Efficiency is ensured! The ranks of the haulers are the largest chunk of the population, but it's absolutely needed to keep the fortress running smoothly.
Ironbreaker (1-2 squads of 5-6): Our melee experts. We've rather too many of these, methinks, what with our excellent defenses, but they refuse to lay down their well-known arms and take up the bow from scratch. Whether this is because they're simply dedicated or because they're loathe to spend time around the archery range with Uncle Evil, I'm loathe to speculate or inquire. I've given the Ironbreakers plate and decent melee weaponry.
Mechlord (2): I did not think we needed two of these with simply mechanics enabled, but then I realized that A) If we need traps cleaned or made, we need them cleaned or made -now-, and B) Our primary export is masterwork mechanisms. Fair enough. Two there shall be!
Noble: Nobles. They do what they like and make demands, but at least now they're easy to differentiate in the dwarf rosters.
Plantlord (4): They plant things, harvest them, and process them. I've created some extra farm plots, and now they've plenty to do. We shall have raw materials for flour, dye, and thread in a few seasons!
Purpleguard (1/20 of pop): The royal guardsmen for the nobles. I don't like to waste dwarves on this, but nobles get rather pissy if there aren't enough of these. So be it. They'd have just been haulers anyway.
Rockrender (6-7): Mining and nothing else. Poor Ilurker may not have a head for organization anymore, leastways not until the concussion heals, but he digs through stone like a shot. They shall all be fully employed with exploratory mining for the foreseeable future.
Siege Defense (2-4): Pump operating thrown in just to keep them fit, plus designing and operating siege engines. I fear they may run off if goblins get too close, though, as they don't think of themselves as soldiers as of yet. I'll have to make sure the ballistae and catapults aren't too close to pre-approved goblin travel lanes.
Stonelord (6): Masonry, stone detailing, and architecture. I once heard that Administrator Legacy claimed we didn't need so many of these. Respectfully, I disagree. Most projects of any scope involve either creating or smoothing walls or various permutations of that. They shall all be busy for the foreseeable future. I wish I could bear more of their number.
Woodlord (2): Oh, dear. Bowyers, carpenters, and wood cutters, both of them. Now the magma forges are in place and it's so dangerous to go outside, they're rarely employed. I've had to put them to hauling for the time being, but occasionally we'll run out of wood to turn into ashes and thence to potash and pearlash, or we shall needs bolts, barrels, or bins, so they shall remain Woodlords.
There! That accounts for every possible job. They all have health care and burial assigned, as those are always pressing, but overall management should be quite simple. Assigning a job for each production category at any given time shall keep them all busy (with the regrettable example of the somewhat more conditional woodlords, crafters, and allsmiths), and the haulers, plantlords, and military keep themselves occupied. If a great number of dwarves become idle, it's a sure bet that the stonelords or rockrenders have come off a task and need a new assignment. The job manager can be used to create work queues, and the appropriate categories shall hop-to with alacrity to fulfill the order without the tedious management of individual workshops!
With this, the fortress shall run like a smoothly-crafted mechanism!
I'm quite proud of myself today, Journal.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Little to report these last weeks. I noticed we've little ballista ammunition, so I have them making iron ballista arrowheads, and then copper ones. I shall have the siege defenders assemble the oversized bolts in between catapult practice.
The stonelords were set to smoothing part of the new meeting hall. I also was walking by one of the pits overlooking the lava when Litast Veloltar, smoothing the edge, teetered and almost fell in. Most distressing, Journal! What if that happened to a wandering child or a drunken diner? I made a note for Mr. Grorx to put a glass floor over the pits to preserve the view without risking safety when the stonelords get free.
The nobles were being demanding. I noticed several didn't like the quarters they were assigned. Hmm...
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GRUNGNI's BEARD
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Apologies, Journal. I've had another conniption. I had a look at the apartments and nobles' quarters yesterday. The apartments are far too big, with the tax collector arrived, they're too expensive. And so space inefficient! It's too far to travel to rest. And what's more? Many of them are abutting the forges! I tried to have a rest in one of them during a break, and I couldn't even shut my eyes, the noise from the forges was too much!
And by Queen Libadkeskal's silky moustache, why do we need forty different nobles' rooms?! Did the designers not realize how expensive it is to furnish but one of these? And the later nobles shall demand ever-larger rooms!
Journal, something must be done about this.
~~~~~~~~~~~
There we go. That should do nicely. I approached Baron Mirroredmerged, having arranged for Maggott to come with me for, er, moral support. So to speak.
"Baron, may I have a word with you for a moment? Won't take but a moment."
"Hurry it up, Strappinglenses, I need to clip my toenails. It's quite urgent."
"Yes, erm, tomorrow we're moving all the other nobles into your bedchamber, dining hall, and tomb. Do have a good day, mind the clippings on the floor."
"...WHAT?!?"
I cringed and immediately reached for my satchel, where I had my other 'convincing' materiel, aside from the looming presence of Maggott. I fear the Baron wasn't impressed with him... not a very wise or practical viewpoint, if you ask me. But there it was.
The Baron was preparing to blast me into the magma with his sheer outrage. He started in demanding explanations, accountability, etcetera.
I took out the illustrations that Stonelord Odgubbomrek helpfully drew up for me.
"Baron, please look at these. Your choices are between having rooms like this..." I showed him a five-by-five room with a clean-looking desk, a stone chair, and an alder bed with a statue, one weapon rack, and a cabinet in it. Not even any engraving. I saw the horror in his eyes. Journal, it was an inspiration. I swallowed my smirk and showed him the other paper.
"Or, you could have rooms like this, sharing with other nobles... but with artifacts in." I showed him his own rooms, engraved and polished, shining with colors and elegantly-designed metal furniture, the highest quality beds, separate spaces for the office, bedroom, and tomb, and most importantly, prominently displayed Mirroredtorches artifacts. And the rooms were huge. I saw his eyes light up and I knew that I had won. Journal, it was a genuine thrill such as I haven't felt since I finished cataloguing all 12,321 pieces of stone in the fortress.
"Carry on," the Baron said as he moved off, gold shining in his eyes. I couldn't resist a smirk.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The old nobles' apartments are being torn down. I'll have to figure out what to do with all that space.
The tesseract apartments are dug out. They are accessible, close to the central stairwells, not too big, cheap to rent, fully five cubes away from the closest workshop (more than enough to disturb our sleep with noise), and attractively symmetrical. They shall each have one bed, a cabinet, a chest, and a door, in that order. As each room is made, it shall be made available for rent; the renters will come down here to sleep and select the room they like, moving in immediately. There are enough rooms for about 200 dwarves.
I suppose if another administrator wishes to clean up all the stone lying about (quite unnecessary, all it does is hide the doors from easy view), the best way would be to convert them square by square to floors. Why not dump it all and smooth the floors? Because that would increase the value of the apartments too much, and then where would the renters be? Broke, that's what. No, no, best to make floors out of the lot. Less labor intensive, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Zon, one of the haulers that had been wandering around a craftsdwarves' workshop since I took office, just went mad and started wandering the halls forlornly. He refuses to eat or drink anything. I fear he'll soon be dead.
Another dwarf became possessed and started muttering random-seeming words. We managed to work out what he was requesting, though, and he'd collected everything in order, up until the part about "Raw... green..."
I ordered some raw green glass made. He immediately heard about it and snatched it up, starting his construction. Another bout with madness resolved. And we have a new wooden artifact door out of the bargain! I've had it installed in the doorway between the nobles' bedroom and dining room.
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Journal, a dragon! A genuine dragon arrived to threaten us, after our gold, jewels, and precious metals! His name is Thabost Torridheats the Ivory Furnace!
He was fearsome! Let the debate be put to rest as to whether ceiling hatches can be destroyed; Thabost destroyed two! If Administrator Legacy hadn't sealed them with walls underneath, we'd have been helpless! As it was, our guard dog out front was immolated!
...and then Thabost blundered straight into a cage trap.
The Dungeon Master is busily training Thabost and taming him -- I've read that if a dragon tastes dwarven blood but once, he can never be tamed, but Thabost was captured before noshing on more than a dog -- but soon after that, there was a goblin ambush around our Woodlord treecutting operation. I'd had the Ironbreakers on patrol around the area, so nobody but goblins were hurt during that ambush... but another ambush fell after that, and although the Ironbreakers were unscratched, the baby in one of the Ironbreakers' arms was slain.
Why do we let females into the military, anyway? Their babies are far too at-risk.
...well, I suppose there's the somewhat difficult task of telling what someone's sex is until a baby comes out. Journal, you would not believe how awkward our courtship rituals are... it's considered extremely rude to just ask, so there's a nightmarish protocol behind determining if the dwarf you like is, in fact, of the opposite sex or not. Poor Litast and Savosh found they were both male after six months of trading notes and fond glances... it was horribly awkward.
I've heard the human traders say that women should wear different clothes or shave their beards to distinguish. I was quite scandalised. How can they live like that?
Anyway, the tragedy has brought to light something I hadn't realized before: We are extremely vulnerable.
The front passageway has too few traps for a determined siege. The ballista would work great... except that it's too close to the entryway (scaring off the siege defenders assigned to fire)... and some nimrod put a wall in front of the ballista instead of a fortification. Brilliant! I'm sure firing through an indestructible wall was just a design feature, not a flaw.
I shall have to go to the books and design a complete revamp of our defense system and caravan path. And I think I know just the place to put it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been two seasons, Journal, since my last entry. It's been so busy... the fortress is running smoother than when I started, though it gets a bit crowded in this clumsy layout. More importantly, the new defenses are almost complete.
I put them in the best, most open space available: The old nobles' quarters.
I feel fully confident that once the labrynth is lined with traps, we no longer need fear any siege ever again. For future administrators, I shall be posting a simple procedure:
1. Recall all dwarves by prohibiting outside travel.
2. Forbid all traps in the labynth to ensure nobody tries to refill them.
3. Assign bolters and siege operators to their First Stage stations as noted.
4. Once all dwarves are safe, pull the levers to lift the south exterior bridge and the first labrynth bridge.
5. Once siegers make it underground, position bolters and siege defenders in the labynth shooting positions as shown.
6. Enjoy the carnage.
7. If they make it to the end, trip the pressure plate, go all the way back through the labrynth, and get back to the surface, and still won't retreat? Pull the second lever to reset the #2 labrynth bridge and 'expose' the interior of the fortress once more. What pitiful few make it BACK through the labrynth a third time may be dispatched by our Ironbreakers.
Even the largest, most pernicious siege, with any number of trolls, will be helpless to penetrate this diabolical defense. Meantime, caravans shall be only momentarily inconvenienced as they travel slightly further. The only dwarves at risk shall be the bolters, and they are protected by the double-layer fortifications on the labrynth sides and impenetrable walls on the ballista sides. Entire green seas of goblins shall throw themselves against us, but it is -they- who shall break! Ahaha!
They tell me that they may call upon me again, but Mr. Grorx is almost here from the capital. I hope he has a good head for this business; I've found it to be quite enthralling, but there's so much left undone. The stonelords shall be busy for quite some time! We also ran through about half the stock of food and drink during the year, as I didn't queue any up due to our massive amounts. Probably just some brewing is needed; only the plump helmets need be cooked, so as not to destroy seeds.
Until next time, though, I shall go back to counting our inventory, signing job releases, and helping out with the hauling. At least now I won't have to deal with Maggott leering at me, waiting for me to make a mistake so he can have an excuse to drag me to the N.E.D. that Veeman made.
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OOC: If the pressure plate and second bridge count as 'sealing off the fortress', even if it's temporary and designed to confuse the gobbos, just have it and the lever for bridge 2 removed.
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Topic: CWAL Succession Game (Read 18037 times)