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Author Topic: Dwarf Hospital!  (Read 32794 times)

The Doctor

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #30 on: March 22, 2009, 06:20:42 pm »

Proper lobotomies.

No matter HOW MUCH HE TRIES, he STILL can't get rid of the entire speech center of his minions comrades.

They still say "Hey Gordon, try reloading!"
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Aqizzar

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2009, 06:21:25 pm »

My question is, why is he worried about the antlions when there's three Striders stalking about?
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And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
Please amplify your relaxed states.
Quote from: PTTG??
The ancients built these quote pyramids to forever store vast quantities of rage.

Slappy Moose

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #32 on: March 22, 2009, 06:57:29 pm »

My question is, why is he worried about the antlions when there's three Striders stalking about?
Because fuck antlions, dude.
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Zaneg Thazor: Armok Reincarnate Story http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=19291.msg196691#msg196691

[Healthcare Update Thread] Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

father_alexander

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2009, 08:06:47 pm »

My question is, why is he worried about the antlions when there's three Striders stalking about?


maybe he didnt saw them? *suddently turns around and discovers 3 striders* -oh, hi!-



anyways, a good thing is that it seems soap will finally have a use, and it also seems it will be an important one, thats pretty cool i always hated soap makers......
i wonder if you would be able to perform sugeries on animals too, or perhaps the animal trainer will take care of that?
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LegoLord

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #34 on: March 22, 2009, 08:10:38 pm »

i wonder if you would be able to perform sugeries on animals too, or perhaps the animal trainer will take care of that?
No, I think the cook would be in charge of sugar-coating the cows.  ;D

But more seriously, folks, I think that would be animal caretakers, not trainers.  All around, it'll be nice seeing a lot of the more useless jobs become useful instead.  It's not just making soap necessary, but helpful as well (in helping to speed wound recovery by cleaning the wound).
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

Aqizzar

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #35 on: March 22, 2009, 08:12:52 pm »

anyways, a good thing is that it seems soap will finally have a use, and it also seems it will be an important one, thats pretty cool i always hated soap makers......

Man, I didn't stop to think about it before, but can you imagine how ironic it will be when your fortress healthcare gets a backlog of infections because of a lack of soapmakers?  I can see it coming, and I still won't believe it when it happens.
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And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
Please amplify your relaxed states.
Quote from: PTTG??
The ancients built these quote pyramids to forever store vast quantities of rage.

Weev

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #36 on: March 22, 2009, 08:46:56 pm »

I can see it now...

The name of Lancestands is one known by many.  Carved into the mountain itself, the barren lands that still smolder from some unknown blight surround it, it's foreboding image is a warning, to all that approach it that it should not be taken in vain, for past the double sets of drawbridges, past the iron doors and smoking forges, likes a simple wooden door that has been sought by many in need.  The dwarves in Lancestands themselves run around half naked, wielding war hammers and screaming curses at each other as they continue their savage lives, but past that door, you enter another world.  Clean and neat, organized and stark, your nose, if you have one that is, would smell a pungent stench of decay and soap, but signs of either would not be seen.  It is quiet there, hallways lead off into different alcoves, and the dwarves that reside here are complete opposites of their neighbors, fully clothed in white robes, the legendary doctors and surgeons are said to have the cure for every disease, ailment and condition.  However, those that have visited that fabled place have also warned, "Those dwarves sure know how to p't ye t'gether, but be warned!  They know how to take you apart just as e'sly!"
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Oddly enough I find it weird that Dwarves currently cannot attain godhood.

scribbler

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #37 on: March 22, 2009, 10:00:01 pm »

anyways, a good thing is that it seems soap will finally have a use, and it also seems it will be an important one, thats pretty cool i always hated soap makers......

Man, I didn't stop to think about it before, but can you imagine how ironic it will be when your fortress healthcare gets a backlog of infections because of a lack of soapmakers?  I can see it coming, and I still won't believe it when it happens.

Hmm, that's a nasty paper cut. Gonna put some soap on it?
No, we put the soap maker in the guards.
Hmm...
Alcohol?
Yes, much better.
I think I bit my tongue as well.
Oh yes, and I've got a cut in my throat.
I had a cold last week.
I knew a guy...
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End the slaughter of dorf kittens!
No self respecting beard wants to wear his pet as clothing! Dorfs need population control for pets and bad thoughts from products made from the animals they choose to bond with.
---------
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
-Albert Schweitzer

Musluk

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #38 on: March 22, 2009, 10:52:56 pm »

Still laughing at "too much blood in your alcohol system".

Oh and btw, the GCS er, striders, can't path to Gordon.
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Fe3g12 - the fourth iron ore.
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Keilden

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #39 on: March 23, 2009, 01:49:44 am »

I laughed at the doctor who checked himself to see if the patient had anything broken.

Doctor: You say you have a broken arm? Hmm nope my arm is fine, you can leave now.
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The Endcat will end you and everything you love.

pokute

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #40 on: March 23, 2009, 02:01:15 am »

Dwarf Fortress: Outbreak...

Just wait till infectious diseases make it into the game.

"Doc, how does it look?  Am I gonna die?"

"IT'S LUPUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
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If history wasn't written by the victors, humanity's failures would be self-evident.

Musluk

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #41 on: March 23, 2009, 02:18:51 am »

It's never lupus, anyway.

Still, I too am going to make the most begrudged peasant the medic, and name him House.
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Fe3g12 - the fourth iron ore.
Quote
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Keilden

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #42 on: March 23, 2009, 02:53:18 am »

I am going to name my doctor Dr Cox.
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The Endcat will end you and everything you love.

Musluk

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #43 on: March 23, 2009, 02:54:34 am »

Then you have a dilemma.
To name all the other doctors girl names, or dog names? :D

Oh LORD...

Timmy, child has drowned.
Doctor Lassie resuisciates Patient: Timmy.
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Fe3g12 - the fourth iron ore.
Quote
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Keilden

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #44 on: March 23, 2009, 03:07:30 am »

Then you have a dilemma.
To name all the other doctors girl names, or dog names? :D

Oh LORD...

Timmy, child has drowned.
Doctor Lassie resuisciates Patient: Timmy.

Hehehe Doctor Barbie.
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The Endcat will end you and everything you love.
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