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Author Topic: Dwarf Hospital!  (Read 31019 times)

Slappy Moose

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2009, 05:21:46 pm »

Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.
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Zaneg Thazor: Armok Reincarnate Story http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=19291.msg196691#msg196691

[Healthcare Update Thread] Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

Dasqoot

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2009, 07:23:23 pm »

I hope there's a way to influence what type of triage and what level of care your dwarves receive.

Mine, of course, is going to involve nothing but leeches and 'walking it off' following amputations.
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Slappy Moose

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2009, 08:10:17 pm »

I hope there's a way to influence what type of triage and what level of care your dwarves receive.

Mine, of course, is going to involve nothing but leeches and 'walking it off' following amputations.
You could probably just not make splints, and only make bone saws or something.

That way the only option is either bed rest for a year or cut a limb off.
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Zaneg Thazor: Armok Reincarnate Story http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=19291.msg196691#msg196691

[Healthcare Update Thread] Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

scribbler

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2009, 10:39:58 pm »

Hmm, you've got gangrene. We have to remove the leg or you'll die. But, while I have many axes, swords, knives, giant serrated disks with spikes of leather, I don't have a bone saw. I'm sorry.
Boot weit. Me brootha can forge you one.
...
Bootha, I have the boon sawh.
's too late, brootha. I am done for.
What?
He has looked himself in the store room. He is making a granite scalpel with pictures of socks!
Boot what oov yoor leg?
For a scalpel that menaces with spikes of mule bone, I would give my leg, for the goot oov the mountain home.
And thee other doctors?
I already have a doctor and this room is in use. No one will come until the doctor is done and has finished with me.
Boot the other patients?
For a scalpel with fine engravings of cheese made from oak, they will wait as long as is necessary. Even, Ewan McRedsheert over there.
With the goblin axe stook in hez hed?
That's the oone.
Darn carp it! Eye needed that iron!
Boot for a scalpel with rings of pure onyx...
Eye, for that I can get ootha iron... Boot Brootha... wat if yoo shood die?
For a scalpel... well actooly, I'll confoose the poor doc. Being unable to treat me e'll joos walk away and leave the room too cluttered to work. The others will, in time die of hoonga while waitin for treatment and yoo, having lost your dear brootha, will succoom to sobriety and go on a rampaj, killing every living thing in grief for yoo loss and actin oot at tha meeninglessness of deth.
Boot it twill be a lovely scalpel.
Aye very tasteful.
Think I'll get to see it before you die and I throw myself in the lava?
Eye doono. I've been bleeding for three weeks already.
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End the slaughter of dorf kittens!
No self respecting beard wants to wear his pet as clothing! Dorfs need population control for pets and bad thoughts from products made from the animals they choose to bond with.
---------
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
-Albert Schweitzer

Skid

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2009, 12:13:02 am »

So much signature material...

You have too much blood in your alcohol system.

I'm keeping this.
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Playing a cheesemaker in an average Fortress 'round here would be. Freaking. Terrifying.

mythmonster2

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2009, 12:49:51 am »

Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.

Yeah, this thread would be a great sig. But this quote I like the best, mainly because I was actually thinking this on the first page! Then I clicked on the second page and laughed loudly when I saw this quote.
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Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.
And neither can I...

Goblin Macelord

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #21 on: March 22, 2009, 03:31:17 am »

I wonder – would it be possible for low skill dwarven doctor to harm the patient? He, he, he. I am goblin, you know.
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Goblins! They don’t drink booze, eating bones, killing dwarfs, shaving beards and simply looks cool! Yes, Goblins are awesome!

InsanityPrelude

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2009, 04:02:15 am »

I can't wait for this. My current fort has a couple dwarves lying in bed wasting space permanently because they each lost a leg to spoilery things. If it weren't for the fact that I'm using the area above their rooms, I'd collapse the ceiling on them to put them out of their misery.  ::)
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Forget down stairs, make an up stair
And then what?  Mine the sky? . . .  Actually, that'd be awesome.

Puck

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #23 on: March 22, 2009, 09:02:48 am »

I rarely ever customize my dwarves. But you can bet your excess stone, there'll be a Dr.Urist House, MC (stands for the Mc in front of "House") in my clinic. Getting his leg injured (and only that leg, and nothing else) without 3rd party software will be a bit challenging. Getting him addicted to something will be a bit easier.

"Needs vicodin to get through the working day" will be impossible, without modding, I guess.

LegoLord

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2009, 09:11:08 am »

I'd make one named Indiana.  Wrong kind of doctor, yes, but it will still be cool to have an Indiana in the fort that the game automatically calls "doctor."
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

bamorrow

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #25 on: March 22, 2009, 09:42:26 am »

In 1052, EyeballError the Bursting of Blood, a Dwarven Plague, was released by foolish Doctors in StinkLeeches
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KAlSi3O8

AdvancedBen2E

Yanlin

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #26 on: March 22, 2009, 10:39:32 am »

Speaking of wrong kinds of doctor...



Oh look. He's performing surgery on that antlion.
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WE NEED A SLOGAN!

The Doctor

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #27 on: March 22, 2009, 10:48:51 am »

With... a crowbar.
...Huh.
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Yanlin

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #28 on: March 22, 2009, 04:16:30 pm »

Yes. He is teaching those striders how to surrender operate on antlions with crowbars.
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Slappy Moose

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Re: Dwarf Hospital!
« Reply #29 on: March 22, 2009, 06:19:31 pm »

Yes. He is teaching those striders how to surrender operate on antlions with crowbars.
Oh Gordon Freeman, what medical procedure can't you educate alien war machines about?
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Zaneg Thazor: Armok Reincarnate Story http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=19291.msg196691#msg196691

[Healthcare Update Thread] Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.
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