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[JoshuaFH]

I'm a weird guy, I can go up on stage, in front of lots of people. I can speak, and sing, and tell jokes with near perfect execution.

In this vein, I have a lot of fantasies, deep, personal, moving fantasies about interesting worlds and interesting characters. I want to dedicate my thoughts to paper, but something is interfering, a neurosis of sorts.

No one is judging me, or has ever harshly criticised my work. Every single person that has ever seen my work has showered me with praise.

The problem is: whenever I aim to write something down, even when I'm only into the first paragraph or so, a perfectionistic habit born of insecurity kicks in, and begins viciously critiquing every word.

It feels as though a small person in my head is yelling frantically "IS IT PERFECT? HEH? IS THAT GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT? IS THAT SPELT CORRECTLY? BEST GO ONLINE AND CHECK! IS THAT PARTICULAR SCENE CONVEY JUST THE RIGHT FEELING? IT'S NOT GOING TO BE WORTH SHIT IF IT ISN'T PERFECT! THIS IS YOUR CHILD, YOU BEST NOT LET IT DOWN! IF WHAT YOU PRODUCE ISN'T PERFECT, YOU AREN'T FIT TO WRITE AT ALL!!!"

It is quite perturbing, so perturbing in fact, that it prevents me from writing. Does anyone else experience feelings like this? And is there any way to prevent my psyche from crippling itself?

I would like to contribute more to the creative projects forum, is what I'm trying to say.

[Armok]

I have had the exact same problem, and mostly still have.
I have a suggestion that MIGHT help, thou it hasn't perfectly for me: write OTHER things, stories intentionally short and simple that is intended to be bad and shown to nobody, or roleplay that requires you to write but all the writing is single use and not to be viewed by lots of people, etc.
Also, read up on on simple do-it-yourself psychology, and try to get rid of those voices. Also, find some kind of author comments to a text you really find great, to see that it to is full of flaws in the eyes of it's author, but still awesome, even if you know this intellectually actually seeing it yourself might help silence the voices.

[612DwarfAvenue]

If you're hearing voices, that's probably not a good sign...

[JoshuaFH]

I'm not hearing voices, I just used that as a metaphor for how I feel.

and thank you very much Armok for the advice. I must say, I guess I already do stuff like that, with Peasant Adventure (that I try to update, atleast once a day, to overcome my natural laziness) and with my Mafia, where I like to write creative stories for the players' actions.

[Dasleah]

it's called being scared

get over it

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seriously though, the only way to banish doubt from your mind is to just keep going. Who cares if what you're writing is pure mindless agony, just get those words down. Don't you dare fucking stop for anything, don't listen to anyone - including yourself - and just keep going. Every time you stop to re-write or re-think a sentence and it takes more than 10 seconds, punch yourself and keep going. The only way you're going to get over it is by doing it, by being in a position where you can look back at what you've done and say to yourself "Fuck, I actually did it." The only person that has to be accountable to what you write is you - forget what everyone else says, the most important thing in the world is getting that first draft down. After that's done, you can be as perfectionist as possible.

[Armok]

Another trick that can work is to record it in audio, not caring about the language at all and just telling it like in normal conversation, getting don the raw information about the actual events. once you have a few chapters you type it down EXACTLY, and use that as a first draft.

[Tormy]

So basically you are a perfectionist. It's not a bad thing actually. 

[Sordid]

What I've found helps a lot is to do your thing, then put it away for a week or two, the longer the better.. Just forget about it completely, do something else, start another project, whatever. And when you come back to it, you'll either be wondering how on earth you could ever write something so brilliant, or you'll be wondering how on earth you could ever write such crap (with me these routinely both occur in the space of a single paragraph). Either way it should put your perfectionism in perspective and help you realize that slaving over it really isn't all that necessary. Worked for me.

[andrea]

mostly the second of the 2 for me, unless it is a writing for the school. but since i can't read these things again, i am not sure about what i would think.

i am like the opening post, but to me it happens a month after writing.

[Kagus]

For me, I just have to get things done as quickly as possible.  Because if I come back to something and read what I wrote two days before, I will be disgusted and lose interest.

I seem to be the only person who does this, however.  So really, the best you can do is just write as much as you can as often as you can and shove it out the door while you look the other way.  People will most likely enjoy what they see, so you don't have to.  Just get it out there.

I think it's a good idea to start writing something you don't have a passion for.  A story that means nothing to you.  This will train your writing abilities and will get you into the swing of things, so that once you're really proficient at doing whatever it is you're doing, you can actually start work on what you like and have the speed and skills necessary to get a good-enough version of it and kick it out to the public before you have a chance to think better of the idea.

And, who knows?  One of your practice stories may strangely turn into something bigger that you just start writing.  Look at Death and Glory.  That really was just supposed to be the equivalent of a minigame, with people voting for where the dude would go and kill stuff next.  Most of the stories mutated into some dramatic mini-plot that I got swept away in and said "bugger you" to the people who actually wanted to play.

Look at just about any of the big community forts.  Those start off as Dwarf Fortress, and start changing into something completely different after a while.  It's really only a matter of getting started.

I recommend you start off with something like DnG or a community fort, and just start writing from there.  You're being given all the material you need, all you have to do is describe it.  If you come up with an idea partway through, you might as well start writing that since you've already done the gruntwork of laying a foundation. 

A word of warning though...  Don't open up a community fort for the public until at least the second or third year.  The first year is DREADFULLY hard to write about, and you will find your enthusiasm going down the toilet after two days of trying to log all the mindlessly stupid nothings that happen in that period.  Just toss it and start writing once everything has settled in somewhat.


And you're always welcome to take over DnG, if you're willing.  It's a heck of a lot of fun, and it's a shame to see the old girl just gathering dust.  Just make some crazy adventurer and write about him/her.  Couldn't be simpler.

[JoshuaFH]

Thanks a whole lot for the advice guys, it's real nice to know there are people to sympathize with.

I'm a real self-deprecating kind of person, but I just need to get over a lot of the mental handicaps stopping me from doing what I want to do.

[andrea]

kagus, reading your post i decided i should keep writing the adventures of Urist the dwarf and the antmen.

i am not really interested in it, now that the game ended (it was the background of my character, it turned out to be 10k+ characters long and i wasn't at half story yet), but maybe i will be able to improv my writing skill.

[Aqizzar]

Kinda comforting to know that paralyzing self-deprecation is such a common issue.  I've got a couple writing ideas of my own that have been brewing for years that I just keep pushing back, ostensibly because I have too many prior commitments to work on personal stuff, but really because I know I just won't be happy with the result.

I guess the worst sign is that on some level I already knew of these solutions.

[Tormy]

For me, I just have to get things done as quickly as possible.  Because if I come back to something and read what I wrote two days before, I will be disgusted and lose interest.

Hm...this sounds familiar...I also tend to get things done as quickly as possible, but only because I am a very impatient & lazy person basically. 

[Yanlin]

I suffer from the same thing. But I usually do it and whine later. Generally, I make something and then fix it. Instead of making it perfect to start with.