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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1366621 times)

Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10560 on: February 02, 2019, 11:31:49 am »

Ptl
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EternalCaveDragon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10561 on: February 18, 2019, 10:04:50 pm »

I've got one from a fort that was eventually abandoned to rampant FB attack. RIP Arch of Ancients.

Anyway! There was this one dwarf there named Obok. I don't remember what his official job was, but it must have been one of the ones that required going outside since Obok decided he'd like to climb a tree but then remembered he didn't know how to get down. And so was just hanging out in the branches. I don't remember how exactly I found him, but I found him while he was still alive. So, being the benevolent overseer that I am, I sent someone out to cut down the tree to correct this malfunction in dwarven behavior. Now, I was a bit concerned since this tree was overlooking a trench I'd dug to drain a pond to retrieve a poor dwarf's remains. So, the tree gets cut down, but I don't see any sign of him. So I check the trench to see if he fell in there. Nope. No sign of him. I check where the trench emptied, nope, nada.

Where do I find him? The little bugger managed to either jump or step into the branches of the tree on the opposite side of the trench! With his little pet hamster that I didn't know until then that he had with him in his grasp too. I was seriously tempted to just leave him up there. For about a moment until my conscience won out. From that day onward he was known as Treehopper for that little stunt.
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Silverlock

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10562 on: February 19, 2019, 03:40:37 pm »

With his little pet hamster that I didn't know until then that he had with him in his grasp too.

Go for the eyes, Urist McBoo!
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EternalCaveDragon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10563 on: February 19, 2019, 03:51:02 pm »

Go for the eyes, Urist McBoo!

I'm very glad I understand that reference. XD
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ViolentBeetle

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10564 on: February 20, 2019, 11:34:13 am »

I think I just caused a laval leak by automining into a magma tube. Why did they not stop digging?
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10565 on: February 20, 2019, 08:01:06 pm »

Designated mining.

Raised the wrong bridge.

Mining on the other side of the bridge.

Miner came from over 120 blocks away to arrive on the exact time and spot the 1x2 bridge was slamming down on.
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auzewasright

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10566 on: February 20, 2019, 08:10:05 pm »

Designated mining.

Raised the wrong bridge.

Mining on the other side of the bridge.

Miner came from over 120 blocks away to arrive on the exact time and spot the 1x2 bridge was slamming down on.
Piece was diagonal to magma vein.
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Troll_Kaiser177

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10567 on: February 24, 2019, 01:26:15 pm »

My most recent fortress came and went so quickly -

Embark, begin mining, go make matcha (and forget to pause), excitedly return to Giant Hyenas tearing my single remaining DORF to pieces  :'(
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NeoSilverThorn

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10568 on: February 26, 2019, 02:20:39 am »

Oh, just about any time I forget to check what's on the Z levels above before digging upwards it turns into one.  Largely due to my luck being just lousy enough that I'll dig into something I shouldn't have.  Like a lake.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10569 on: February 26, 2019, 09:33:28 am »

I set up an overly complicated water system with multiple tanks spanning multiple z-levels, and I wanted to drain every single tank. So I did, and now my fortress is temporarily split into the "upper levels" and the "cavern levels", where the water acts as a barrier between them, which means job cancellation spam.
Maybe I should have attached a separate drainage pipe leading straight into a gigantic evaporation chamber.
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Dragonslayerelf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10570 on: February 26, 2019, 04:17:31 pm »

I flooded the mine in my human town accidentally, which was expansive and went really deep into the earth into a cave that attracted a lot of monster slayers, that I wasn't able to send the memo to that it was going to fuck them over. Additionally, there were rocks in there that I forgot to forbid, meaning people were trying to get into the actively flooding mines to get rocks. All things considered, all I really lost was 1 dude and like 4 monster hunters. It was on my human save that crashed and burned (see: reddit) but it was good fun regardless.
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NordicNooob

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10571 on: March 07, 2019, 09:08:38 pm »

Be me:
Make grand two dwarf military to be uber elite soldiers.
Armed fully in candy, badass and legendary.

Goblins! Send out the elites! Dine on their blood!
Aand they're slaughtered before they kill anything.
*facepalm*

Why? Cave adaptation apparently ruins all ability to fight. (several follow-up incidents in different forts agree that it wasn't something else)
*sigh*

BONUS:
That same siege is still marching towards my fort!
Close the gate!
Gate closes, locking the few dwarves that were draining the river outside. Their sacrifice will not be forgotten!

Wait, why are the goblins still pathing somewhere?
They're headed to the drained river? Huh, that's the part right under where my hospit-OH.
*goblin army climbs up through the well*
*facepalm*

Disaster is imminent. Fortunately, the fortress has a backup milita! Unfortunately, all eighteen are novice to competent warriors in semi-shitty gear.
*bloody battle for both sides, with about 1:1 casualties*
Well crap. About twenty goblins survive, and enter the fort!

BONUS, the second:
Well, maybe doberman bomb and peasants with axes can kill enough of them to make them retreat!
*bloody battle for both sides*
The siege is broken! All of my useless dwarves and soldiers and dogs are dead, but the siege is broken! Those last seven goblins will run away!
Oh. Without pump operators draining it, the river has refilled, sealing the well that the goblins entered through. Wait, lets just open the gate to let them out! Oh, right, goblins in front of the lever room.
The goblins are trapped in the fortress.
*facepalm*

*muster every last dwarf in the fortress to kill the stragglers*
*bloody battle x3 combo ensures*
*about a dozen dwarves are left*

Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.
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nimbus25

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10572 on: March 08, 2019, 11:32:04 pm »

I've been playing in this fort for a little over 8 years now, everything is relatively quiet. Not a single goblin invasion, but looking at the world one of the two nearby civs was at peace, and maybe the other one just didn't care for some reason? The fort is the only dwarven site left on the planet, maybe they didn't care enough. Start making a military just to be safe.

Then I start thinking about it, and realized I've never gotten a single forgotten beast either, despite having the caverns open for most of this fort's lifespan. Check the init files and sure enough, I had apparently shut off invaders for the last fort I played and completely forgot about it. At least now my fort's defended enough so that it shouldn't be (much of) a problem.
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Silverlock

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10573 on: March 09, 2019, 10:37:40 am »

Oh. Without pump operators draining it, the river has refilled, sealing the well that the goblins entered through. Wait, lets just open the gate to let them out! Oh, right, goblins in front of the lever room.
The goblins are trapped in the fortress.
*facepalm*

That was my favorite part.  The looks on the faces of both the goblins and the dwarves would have been priceless.
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MobRules

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10574 on: March 14, 2019, 12:25:39 pm »


Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.

Yup. After learning this the hard way (more than once), I nearly always make sure my tavern gets sunlight.
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