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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1388545 times)

Kryten42

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10635 on: August 23, 2019, 01:09:44 pm »

Ah, a perfect place for my first post here :)

My latest facepalm moment: Decided to raid some elves, since my game is a bit too calm for my liking (only one noteworthy gobbo siege so far, after 15 years). They were already at war with me, although I have no idea why(they sent caravans at the start, then stopped and I later discovered I was at war with them) and so I thought I might provoke some action by raiding one of their homes.
So I sent out my main squad of 10 legendary axedorfs to raid and raze that place, hoping to get some revenge action. They went through that place in no time and even brought back a breeding pair of unicorns! (Yay, soon we`ll have unicorn meat). I was really happy, but somehow there was no revenge action from them....checked the world later only to find out that this was apparently the last outpost of them, all other places don't have any inhabitants any more....duh. Since there are also no humans, I am left with the gobbos, which still haven't shown up a second time, although I am amassing wealth as much as I can. Even the artifact adamantine leggins, worth ~1.2 mil I have now displayed in my tavern doesn't seem to do the trick.
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asialsky

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10636 on: August 27, 2019, 05:38:07 am »

"Ah, my water reactor is done at last, now I can-"
Urist McToddler has canceled job. And again. And again.
"Huh. It appears an idiot keeps getting splashed, but refuses to leave. They're not... hurting anything, so I guess I'll just wait until they leave for food, or starve."
A few minutes later...
"Alright, he moved, so now-"
Job cancel intensifies
"WHY ARE THERE NOW FOUR CHILDREN IN MY REACTOR?!"

I may have edited the raws a bit too much. I don't remember them being this dumb.
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Off defending the fortress from dragons with a tank, I'm sure.
"All I want is for you to be happy. You won't be happy until I'm happy, so hurry up and shoot the zombies!"

Pvt. Pirate

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10637 on: August 28, 2019, 11:59:03 am »

had a surplus of valuable gems (rubies) on the surface and wanted them stored before any Keas could grab them.
i designated my temple to be mined, so i could store the gems there until i got proper rooms set up.
a few months later still no single gem in there.
i check and it's a refuse stockpile :D e and r are close on the keyboard...
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"dwarves are by definition alcohol powered parasitic beards, which will cling to small caveadapt humanoids." (Chaia)

Kryten42

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10638 on: August 29, 2019, 01:01:08 am »

I built my first ever Pumpstack through 14 z-levels to get some water up to my fort. I did read in the wiki that such a stack is fragile and should only one pump get destroyed, the whole stack will collapse. Now if anyone would have told me that deconstructing and axle connected to the top pump will have the same effect...... *sigh* building the whole thing again now
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nezclaw

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10639 on: August 29, 2019, 01:03:25 pm »

I built my first ever Pumpstack through 14 z-levels to get some water up to my fort. I did read in the wiki that such a stack is fragile and should only one pump get destroyed, the whole stack will collapse. Now if anyone would have told me that deconstructing and axle connected to the top pump will have the same effect...... *sigh* building the whole thing again now

ooh, yeah. you want to make sure it's connected to something that has a stable foundation that you aren't messing with.
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Pvt. Pirate

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10640 on: August 30, 2019, 03:50:07 am »

i used a 12x12 embark for a "stupid dorf project" with a cliffside on the far left.
it took about 5 Minutes until it finally loaded and i was actually surprised to have it run on 60fps.
then i found that at the position where i need to build the main gate into a cliffside, there was no cliffside, but flat area.
also i don't have a backup of the world, so i just deleted the region.
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"dwarves are by definition alcohol powered parasitic beards, which will cling to small caveadapt humanoids." (Chaia)

Vercingetorix

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10641 on: August 30, 2019, 06:04:30 pm »

Tfw you build those sturdy drawbridges to close off the fort only to find out after linking them to the levers that they're set to retract.
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Do you always look at it in ASCII?

You get used to it, I don't even see the ASCII.  All I see is blacksmith, miner, goblin.

delphonso

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10642 on: August 31, 2019, 09:45:58 pm »

I swear this has killed more fortesses than any forgotten beast.
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Superdorf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10643 on: September 01, 2019, 05:19:33 pm »

Of course, sometimes a forgotten beast is involved...
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tormenting the player is important
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ulf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10644 on: September 02, 2019, 03:06:51 am »

Todays face palm: Realizing that you forgot to link the bridge blocking the cavern access up to a lever before using said access as a dump for water from an aquifier..
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nezclaw

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10645 on: September 03, 2019, 11:40:23 am »

I accidentally designated my GCS to be trained.
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10646 on: September 03, 2019, 11:42:25 am »

I accidentally designated my GCS to be trained.
What’s wrong with training them?
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GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 IRL
*picks up pepper* “Look, a pickle” *puts down pepper* “wait, pickles and peppers are completely different instruments”
Moral of the story: Everyone has dumb moments, laugh at them

Superdorf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10647 on: September 03, 2019, 11:57:08 am »

They won't spit webs at most things once they've been trained. Makes it way harder to set up an unending fount of weavable spider-silk.
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Come play Mafia with us!
Superdorf's not just watcher. He's Bay overseer.
tormenting the player is important
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nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10648 on: September 04, 2019, 03:07:55 am »

That's what you use a chained goblin for
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.

nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10649 on: September 04, 2019, 06:15:29 pm »

So for whatever reason, I got 4 barons appointed.

All 4 are my steel-bearing war-forged swordmasters of legends.

Which is not only the backbone of my military, which is de facto the only military i got.

GOod thing is they can be commanded as military unit of barons. Bad thing, they lose their rooms every time I send them offsite.

Bad thing, 4x mandates every now and then. :S
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.
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