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[vekar]

I honestly did not pay attention, the sheer quantity of alerts was bad enough.

[IRQ]

Got a human bard interrogated, found out he was spying and planning to steal an artifact. Got a year in the cage.

Couple years passed, with bard being freed in the meantime but still hanging around, I get an alert that I don't have enough cages to load a trap despite making exact amount I needed.

Look around, find the missing cage dropped on the floor about fifteen steps from the tavern entrance with the bard inside. I don't know who or how but I wholeheartedly approve. Assigned him to the pig pen for now, I'll see how this develops.

[Magistrum]

You guys know how when you dig under a tree and then cut down the tree later it forms a hole in the ground that invaders can shot through later? Urist McMiner and three others sure do now.

I really thought I was smarter than this.

[Keep]

Had a fortress of one hundred and sixty-four dwarves, one of which was a necromancer. A giant winged snail breaks into the fortress kills most of my military before dying. Bad, right? WRONG! What's really bad is when said necromancer panics and begins raising thing from the dead including said giant winged snail. Anyways, snail kills the undead, the necromancer, and kills around half the remaining dwarves. leaving me with 64 dwarves and a giant bloody mess. Yay!

[Thisfox]

Made a whole lot of extra coffins and activated them because the main hallway was nothing but blood and corpses after a gobbo siege. Then it turned out that what I could see was actually mostly blood and engravings. They carved the entire history of the fortress in that hallway, dorfs surrounded by dorfs, dorfs travelling, and dorfs laboring, and this one dwarf holding aloft the gemstone crown she made in the first year of the fort.... The engravings are all represented with smileys. So it was then the one or two dorfs who died who sprayed blood all over everything. I couldn't tell the bloodstained smiley faces from the dorf corpses and didn't realise my death toll was so low.

[klefenz]

You guys know how when you dig under a tree and then cut down the tree later it forms a hole in the ground that invaders can shot through later? Urist McMiner and three others sure do now.

I really thought I was smarter than this.

Also, if you dig under a tree and leave the tree there, a flying creature can move diagonally and enter.
I learned it the hard way.

[xkcd1963]

One of my dwarfs had a special mood and I needed a clothier workshop. I quickly build one out of a block of ice (to easier distinguish it on the screen from more important ones), once he claimed it, the ice immediately melted due to body temperature and the dwarf went insane.

[Paaaad]

One of my dwarfs had a special mood and I needed a clothier workshop. I quickly build one out of a block of ice (to easier distinguish it on the screen from more important ones), once he claimed it, the ice immediately melted due to body temperature and the dwarf went insane.

Was it inside? You were lucky it lasted even that long if that was the case. I've used a Trade Depot made from ice before on a glacier embark, but I had to build it outside or it would melt on it's own. Constructed ice walls and the like won't ever melt though.

[muldrake]

One of my dwarfs had a special mood and I needed a clothier workshop. I quickly build one out of a block of ice (to easier distinguish it on the screen from more important ones), once he claimed it, the ice immediately melted due to body temperature and the dwarf went insane.

Was it inside? You were lucky it lasted even that long if that was the case. I've used a Trade Depot made from ice before on a glacier embark, but I had to build it outside or it would melt on it's own. Constructed ice walls and the like won't ever melt though.

It sounds like it would have been luckier if it melted before the doomed moody dwarf claimed it.

[brewer bob]

Was wondering why I'm getting goblin sieges with only a bit over 50 dwarves. Took me quite some time to figure out that I had changed the population siege trigger down and completely forgot it.

[muldrake]

It bugs me when I accidentally crush a dwarf with a drawbridge by pulling the lever at the wrong moment.

I always think "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers."

It's never some worthless idiot like a fish wrestler or whatever, it's always a Legendary of some sort.

[DwarfStar]

It bugs me when I accidentally crush a dwarf with a drawbridge by pulling the lever at the wrong moment.

I always think "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers."

It's never some worthless idiot like a fish wrestler or whatever, it's always a Legendary of some sort.

I always build my high-traffic bridges with a set of doors. Then I forbid all the doors before I pull the level.

[TheBeardyMan]

my captain of the guard is currently fighting for control of a dwarf they want to interrogate but other dwarves keep grabbing them and taking them to the hospital while the captain chases after them
over
and
over

I gave up on this ending so i just healed said dwarf with dfhack so they can move on so i can expel them

Too ill to stand trial? Is he by any chance a mayor who failed to get reelected?

[Bralbaard]

So my civilisation is named the accidental door, and it's symbol surprisingly enough, is also an image of a door (all coincidence and randomly generated)



This was all very fun and wholesome until the moment I started engraving my fortress. The images of fake doors are everywhere, including some incredibly well made fake doors. It has gotten so bad that in some cases even I, the fortress overseer am fooled by their appearance. This for example is quite bad, but still manageable: There is only one door into the tavern below, where is it?



In the case below though, I came back to the fortress after not playing the save game for several months. I ended up wondering why my dwarves did not gather the wood on the other side of this wall, only to find out that there is actually no door there. It is a smoothed over and engraved piece of obsidian in an otherwise constructed wall. (the obsidian was a leftover from magma that spilled over the wall earlier and that I obsidianized)



At some point dwarves will die because I fail to lock a door, and my civilisation will truly deserve it's name.

[Thisfox]

This is a glorious story! I have a mental image of a whole lot of dwarves walking around with bruised noses, due to a Star-Trek-like belief that the door in front of them is real, and shall open just before they walk through!