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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2115279 times)

palenerd

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10905 on: February 20, 2023, 08:37:29 pm »

Evil embark, reanimating and thralling. I discovered that infernal mist thralls could fly when one flew down my half-completed above-ground-underground-vegetable-patch controlled cave-in apparatus, proceeded to tear out the floors I'd constructed to seal the fort, and promptly got swarmed by my horde of 27 children. The children won. Alternate routes to the surface are now better guarded.
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Here is a drunken rendition of Sodium Chloride, it menaces with electrons. This relates to the drunkness of palenerd in Early Spring of 2023.

EmperorCoolidge

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10906 on: March 29, 2023, 12:31:58 pm »

"Why won't the cistern floodgate close, I keep pulling the lever?"
*elsewhere, by a disused volcano tap*
!!Urist McFarmer!! cancels dump item: Dangerous terrain!

I really should deconstruct that lever
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muldrake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10907 on: April 15, 2023, 05:43:33 pm »

I think my favorite act of jackassery was for some incomprehensible reason, I diverted an entire river into my fort and drowned everyone nearly instantly.  I have definitely had some magma indiscretions as well, but never to the extent of wrecking the entire fort.

I was trying to create a drowning chamber. . .except it turned out to be everyone's living quarters.
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sbritorodr

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10908 on: April 25, 2023, 03:22:37 pm »

Started to shape my fortress. Had the newbie decision of creating a huge hall for stockpiling stone. Almost passed like two years moving rocks, then I realized you could create wheelbarrows... after having years of not doing anything useful lol.
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lazygun

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10909 on: July 08, 2023, 10:54:52 am »

I just drowned my outpost liaison. Pulled the lever to retract the bridge over the moat after the traders all reached the depot. Apparently the liaison picked the wrong time to try to leave the fortress.

That bridge wasn’t even planned to exist. It’s just that everyone keeps spawning on the inaccessible 1 tile wide strip of land between the moat and the edge of the map (1x1 embark) instead of on the far side of the river.
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sodafoutain

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10910 on: August 09, 2023, 11:07:22 am »

I placed a statue right in front of the entrance to the uncooked food stockpile, somehow. I thought it was dropped there erroneously by some dwarf who was putting it in the guard garrison or somesuch. I spent 3-4 years IGT wondering why all the meat was rotting in the butcher's shop.
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Crystalizedmire

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10911 on: August 14, 2023, 11:42:57 pm »

I realized that vampires could still climb up the well, so I kept using dfhack teleport to dunk her into the well
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she/her

Orange-of-Cthulhu

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10912 on: September 06, 2023, 06:14:48 am »

Built a drawbridge where the parley-seeking goblins usually stand. Some goblins show up, I set the bridge lever to get pulled on repeat.

So they retreat when enough of them got crushed - but one badly injured goblin is sitting in a tree. The guy cannot stand or grasp due to spnal injury and has an open artery.

But he's unreachable in the tree, neither melee dwarves nor marksdwarves can get at him. Nothing works, the terrain is irregular so it is hard to undermine it with the miners spotting the goblin though holes or meeting the aquifier.

The dying goblin essentally grinds the fort through a halt while he's sitting paralyzed in the tree bleeding to death. He's caused the fort way more problems than the last attack by a web-slinging forgotten beast made of lead. It ends when he FINALLY bleeds to death in his tree.
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Bumber

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10913 on: September 06, 2023, 06:31:04 pm »

But he's unreachable in the tree, neither melee dwarves nor marksdwarves can get at him. Nothing works, the terrain is irregular so it is hard to undermine it with the miners spotting the goblin though holes or meeting the aquifier.

Ballista aimed at the tree could have been an option.
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Schmaven

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10914 on: October 22, 2023, 06:51:24 am »

Not taking advantage of the Save option, I completed an extensive trade, designated and redesignated along the edge of an aquifer all the way to a map edge, and sorted a large wave of migrants into good roles for them.  Then the game crashed as I was screwing around with DFHack.  In the future, each task of that scope probably warrants a manual save before starting on the next one.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2023, 07:00:59 am by Schmaven »
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Bralbaard

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10915 on: November 23, 2023, 02:00:06 am »

The map for Wiselanterns is partly reanimating biome, but I've hardly noticed in the ten years the fort have existed.

Today however I found out that the old Queen's luxurious tombs extend under the reanimating part of the map. :o
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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10916 on: November 23, 2023, 08:47:21 pm »

Just set my miners to work carving out an epic skull-shaped temple to my civ's god of death. However, I realized as they got done channeling out the holes for the eye sockets and nose that I left them without any way of climbing back out again (as I decided to make the holes 2 z-levels deep). Unfortunately now I'll have to compromise the temple design slightly just to designate a path so they can mine their way to freedom. :-\
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

Schmaven

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10917 on: November 23, 2023, 09:14:10 pm »

Just set my miners to work carving out an epic skull-shaped temple to my civ's god of death. However, I realized as they got done channeling out the holes for the eye sockets and nose that I left them without any way of climbing back out again (as I decided to make the holes 2 z-levels deep). Unfortunately now I'll have to compromise the temple design slightly just to designate a path so they can mine their way to freedom. :-\

No sacrifices for the temple to the god of death?!
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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10918 on: November 24, 2023, 02:21:11 am »

Just set my miners to work carving out an epic skull-shaped temple to my civ's god of death. However, I realized as they got done channeling out the holes for the eye sockets and nose that I left them without any way of climbing back out again (as I decided to make the holes 2 z-levels deep). Unfortunately now I'll have to compromise the temple design slightly just to designate a path so they can mine their way to freedom. :-\

No sacrifices for the temple to the god of death?!

I thought about it, but ultimately decided it's good to keep as many miners around as you can.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

Tomsod

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10919 on: December 20, 2023, 08:58:43 am »

Started a temporary embark to gather some plants not present in my (future) main fort.  Soon, there are raven corpses everywhere.  Then my herbalists start melting.  Oh right, it's raining and we're in a scorching biome!  WHOOPS.  Guess the survivors will stay away from that half of the map until the weather clears.
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