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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2114984 times)

SmileyMan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2175 on: August 01, 2010, 11:36:31 am »

I've got a horrible image in my head now of a doctor who enters a tantrum in the middle of liver surgery!
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In a fat-fingered moment while setting up another military squad I accidentally created a captain of the guard rather than a militia captain.  His squad of near-legendary hammerdwarves equipped with high quality silver hammers then took it upon themselves to dispense justice to all the mandate breakers in the fortress.  It was quite messy.

Urist McTaverish

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2176 on: August 01, 2010, 12:08:50 pm »

Mining out a tunnel for my magma works.  I forgot to seal the exit.  Flooded the mountainside with magma.  Luckily my game crashed.
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Here at Bay12, we're constantly looking for ways to set the world on fire.
But at least after all the chaos, the weather cleared.

Tommy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2177 on: August 01, 2010, 12:30:27 pm »

On a similar note, my magma channels don't flow quite perfectly into the caverns I've dug from the top of the volcano, so the mountainside is very, very slowly flooding with magma.  At a rate of about 10 tiles a year.
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HAHAHA YES MY EXPIDITION LEADER IS PARTYING WITH GHOSTS THIS IS THE BEST UPDATE EVER
Dwarf Fortress in a nutshell. It includes dead things, parties, and getting really excited over updates.

NightmareBros

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2178 on: August 01, 2010, 12:45:52 pm »

I did something similar with all the rivers near my fort. Every summer, a flash flood goes down the side of the mountain, off screen, and maybe kills people.
It certainly got a few goblin seiges earlier than expected, so I think I might have acciedentally flooded a goblin tower, per Year.
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Greiger

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2179 on: August 01, 2010, 12:53:43 pm »

I've got a horrible image in my head now of a doctor who enters a tantrum in the middle of liver surgery!

Dr. U. Hopelessdoom: Nurse, scalpel please.
*Nurse Migrantsoaper hands the doctor a bucket*
Dr. U. Hopelessdoom: I am surrounded by idiots! This isn't a scalpel! This isn't even a knife! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!*snap*

Urist Hopelessdoom is tantrumming

*screaming* *sounds of ripping tissue mixed in with the occasional wet splorch of an organ striking a wall*

Dr Urist Hopelessdoom had become a Novice Thrower.
Dr Urist hopelessdoom has calmed down.
Kogan McAppendixpatient cancels live: Missing vital organs.
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Disclaimer: Not responsible for dwarven deaths from the use or misuse of this post.
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Ethereal.Frog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2180 on: August 02, 2010, 12:58:17 am »

So I was trying to irrigate my farm with a big murky pool from 5z up. I had a little hallway leading over to the place I want the water dropping in, then channeled straight down. The water goes through really slowly, I'm probably only gonna get about half of it muddied.

So I let it drip and move on to other stuff. A while later:

"Stray Kitten (Tame) has suffocated."

What? Zoom to location, please.

Cat is dead in my farm. What? Oh, splatter of blood at the point where the water drops in. Silly kitten, fell down the shaft and crushed its tiny kitten lungs.
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Can't you also damn rivers by causing a wall to drop into the water via cave-in?
I figured you could always damn a river by channeling out it out all the way into Hell.

Torgan

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2181 on: August 02, 2010, 07:21:21 am »

My FPM was thinking that the hollow core of the blue metal tubes didn't curve as they passed through z-levels.  Cue flying beasts incinerating my miners then tearing apart Palacemine.  :'(

Next time it will be different!!!!!
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flatlander

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2182 on: August 02, 2010, 07:35:32 am »

So... after many different deaths games I have finally figured out how to collapse a cavern section safely using supports. I just failed to notice:

Urist McMechanic makes masterwork gear.
Rigged up lever to collapse a support...
*whomp* ... large block of dirt/rock crush support and gear.
Urist McMechanic is offended by destruction of art.

She wiggs out.
Strangles a cat.
Urist McWoodcutter decides to put a battleaxe in her head.

So it is about par for the course... a dead dwarf and a dead cat.
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Check out my webcomic at epicgotime.com

Thadius

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2183 on: August 02, 2010, 12:18:03 pm »

I joined bay12 forums.

I kid, I kid.  Naw, the only face palm moment in my (current) fort has to have been trying to run an indoor waterfall into the dining room.  I kinda forgot how channels work now.  Nearly lost a miner to my own stupidity and his own laziness to pick up his pick and dig those last hundred feet to freedom.  He was 'on break.'  While starving.  And dying of thirst.

I very nearly inaugurated my indoor waterfall the traditional way with the bodies of one of the Original Seven, but luckily one of the other miners could hear the screams behind the dirt wall.  I imagine it was like 'The cask of Amontillado' but in reverse.  I should name one of them Montressor.
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If you accidentally lock the elves in the depot and wait until they're insane to capture them in cages and then lock the next group of elves in the depot and unleash the insane elves from their cages, that's still somehow your fault.

Spectre

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2184 on: August 02, 2010, 12:22:53 pm »

Now I have to name my starting mason Montressor for all of eternity.
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azmodean

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2185 on: August 02, 2010, 02:23:02 pm »

I had about 4 or 5 dwarves lying in beds after a horrible Forgotten Beast attack.  The the only doctor had a tantrum spiral and murdered 2 or 3 of them.  >:(

Uugh, trying to make it out of a tantrum/infection spiral after taking down a (flying, doh) forgotten beast with rot-causing breath.  The mayor keeps tantruming while in meetings with upset dwarves and punching them in the face.  Well he did until that meeting with the off-duty hammerdwarf anyway, now he's in the hospital too...
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I don't think Jesus died from thorns being pushed into his brain. RTFA

Spectre

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2186 on: August 02, 2010, 03:07:47 pm »

How silly. To punch an angry hammerdwarf in the face.
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Beardless

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2187 on: August 02, 2010, 03:10:58 pm »

So I was making another stab at replacing the green glass walls holding back the aquifer with clear glass. (I lost the first attempt to a .10 military crash.) Here's a blueprint:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The stairs are the only entrance to what will eventually be my main fort, and currently my only source of stone, and indeed ANY building materials. (I embarked on a desert and clear-cut it ridiculously fast.) The plan is to sink the stairwell straight down until it hopefully intersects the first cavern layer, at which point I'll REALLY start to build this fort. The pumps are fully automatic, powered by windmills. The plan is to install switches for the doors and pumps so I can flood the stairwell at will. Being impatient, I've already got my miners working on the sublevels. They're getting a bit damp, but the floor space expands fast enough to prevent flooding.

I had 3 gaps in the wall with masons braving (or not-so-braving, as the case tends to be) the ankle-deep water to finish the walls. I also noticed that I had nothing for my lazy mechanic to do, so I started him installing levers and gears for the various irrigation systems. May as well start the work on the pumps' off switch as well.

Me: I just have to remember to suspend construction on the key gear when it reaches 'nearly done'...
Dorfs: Oh noes, the water is too deep!
Me: Where did all these blue sevens come from?
Mechanic: *smug*
Legendary Miner: (Five levels below.) Where did everyone go?

This is literally twenty seconds after I gave the mechanic seven different jobs to do. The one dwarf I could depend on to go On Break between each and every job finally got down to business on the one thing I didn't really want done.

Luckily, I had installed hatches on the stairs, so the only effect was a temporary work stoppage while I sent the mechanic back to tear the gear out. (He went On Break first.)
« Last Edit: August 02, 2010, 03:27:35 pm by Beardless »
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So it turns out that dumping magma on skeletons is either a really bad idea or maybe like the best idea ever.

Shurhaian

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2188 on: August 02, 2010, 05:32:26 pm »

{Mechanic does his work for a change - in fact, does it too fast}

 (He went On Break first.)

Priceless.
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Working on: drakes - making the skies(mostly) a bit more varied

My guards need something better to do than make my nobles happy with hugs and justice.

Urist McTaverish

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2189 on: August 02, 2010, 06:13:23 pm »

Making an addition to my lava corridor for two more magma smelters, I had a dwarf build a wall to block the magma.  He ended up on the wrong side of it.  He had to wait for ANOTHER dwarf to come down to deconstruct the wall.

He didn't make it.

Then my game "crashed." <_< >_> Don't judge me.
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Here at Bay12, we're constantly looking for ways to set the world on fire.
But at least after all the chaos, the weather cleared.
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