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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2115575 times)

SOLDIER First

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8655 on: July 20, 2014, 01:45:03 am »

Looking at my animals in Dwarf Therapist, I noticed they were all female.
...which caused me to remember that all my dwarves, save for the woodworker, were also female.
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Untelligent

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8656 on: July 20, 2014, 02:28:48 pm »

Every time I get a weaponsmith in the first migrant wave, he never seems to survive to the end of the first year.


40d: a nasty critter I modded in comes and murders half my dwarves in the first winter, including the weaponsmith.

0.31: A forgotten beast emerges from the caverns in the first winter and kills my weaponsmith before being put down.

0.34: see above

0.40: A giant mole emerges from the caverns in the late summer and starts hanging out in my workshops, so I send my new fisherdwarf Militia Captain to train with it. While she's beating it to a pulp, the weaponsmith decides to get in on the action and gets a major head artery bit off. He was an adequate strand extractor that time, too.




EDIT: Turns out that last weaponsmith was the husband of the captain and now she's "very unhappy." Considering making her take a long walk on a long pier and making the pier shorter. The giant mole got better and ran off with a stack of roast yak organs.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2014, 02:49:32 pm by Untelligent »
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deepfreeze78

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8657 on: July 20, 2014, 02:44:41 pm »

Looking at my animals in Dwarf Therapist, I noticed they were all female.
...which caused me to remember that all my dwarves, save for the woodworker, were also female.

That woodworker must be having fun.
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Rickshaw_Watcher

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8658 on: July 21, 2014, 05:09:49 pm »

Just started playing Dwarf Fortress not even a week ago. Keep this in mind.

I created a big sleeping space for my dwarves but didn't want to make a dormitory since I already had the room finished and getting just the right placement for the initial bed is a pain. Instead I made each bed it's own bedroom (3x3) with the bed and a chest, one for every dwarf in my modest hole in the ground. Next few in game years I just kept getting loads and loads of migrants coming in like I was shooting gold out of my ears. I shot up from around 12 citizens to almost 60 in a short amount of time, overloading my ability to get food and starving the entire population. Rather than have my Dwarves go through a winter unable to feed themselves I just abandoned the fortress (they'll go back to the cities, right?) and looked up how to prevent migrants from coming around.

And that's how I found out what "perceived wealth" is and how every dwarf having their own beds and furniture makes that skyrocket, calling every down-on-their-luck dwarf forward to destroy my infrastructure like a bunch of stone-skinned termites.

Good to know just how easy it is to have Fun in this.

A child threw a temper tantrum yesterday and punched my mayor through the skull.

You wouldn't have happened to start growing Maize at the time by any chance?
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Sadrice

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8659 on: July 22, 2014, 01:08:31 am »

didn't want to make a dormitory since I already had the room finished and getting just the right placement for the initial bed is a pain.

Do you mean that you have problems with when yoou are designating the room and are expanding it to fit, it bulges out through the doorway?  If so, don't worry, unless it overlaps with another room, and even then still probably don't worry.  If you are OCD enough for it to bother you, put your designation bed in the corner furthest from the entrance, or just use a door.  If you are OCD enough to care about room boundaries exceeding the literal room, you probably wanted doors anyways, and they have the handy benefit of blocking room expansion if set to external (default).

As for food, try poultry.  They are very cheap to bring on embark, and only a few hens will give you more eggs than you know what to do with, if you give them nestboxes (eggs must be cooked to be eaten, but you should be doing this anyways).  They are also the cheapest way to bring food on embark.  For 6 points (3 food) you get on average 19 units of food from a turkey, if butchered.  You could also get lots and lots of eggs from them, easily feeding an arbitrary number of dwarves.

For booze, you still need farming, but if you keep on top of it, you should be able to have more than enough alcohol without much trouble.
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Chevaleresse

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8660 on: July 22, 2014, 01:21:47 am »

My moody dwarf sat around in her workshop demanding metal and cloth while staring at the smelter and loom for two months, then fell into melancholia. Wonderful.
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Mardukker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8661 on: July 22, 2014, 12:17:21 pm »

This one happened last night:

On my first Haunted embark, I realized how hard it is to get immigrants since they all insist on getting killed by zombies. As I was opening and closing the door trying to get them inside the fort, a dwarf zombie managed to get inside.

Eventually a big fight went down in a mine shaft hallway, and strangely enough the zombie wasn't fighting back. Everyone started getting big training boosts (since I had no trained dwarves whatsoever) and eventually I built some doors to lock the zombie in, with hopes of keeping him around for further training. Some time later I realized that one of his hands was cut off during the fight and it became a zombie itself. "Easy-peasy", I thought, as I sent some dwarves to kill it.

The hand killed almost all of them in a matter of seconds.
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Nikita

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8662 on: July 23, 2014, 02:43:31 am »

Tried to dig through an aquifer by making a hole from below and having all the water fall a few dozen z levels and then flow through the drain tunnel.

It killed my fps. Takes 5 seconds for a dorf to go from one tile to the next.
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Uristides

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8663 on: July 23, 2014, 05:00:56 am »

A bit meta: yesterday night I saved my game and went to sleep before it finished because I was so tired. Today the first thing I see when I awake is "Your fortress has been abandoned".
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HawaiianJon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8664 on: July 24, 2014, 11:47:44 am »

I decided to embark with 4 towers as neighbors...
Within 10 mins real time, I shit you not, they brought in an army of 30 undead goblins SKILLED weapon users...
And since sieges prevent migrants and trade depots, I was doing the peasantry challenge as well.
If that wasn't enough, food supply was low because I forgot that the soldiers will choose training over farming.
EVEN WORSE...
The only soldier I had went berserk and crippled everyone and no-one could do surgery so they just sat there, the goblin zombie horde just sipping tea on the edge of the map like: This is a jolly good show old chaps, now, what do we do? Sit here? Ok then.

Now I am on a new world, same conditions, but this time I have a pick and sand.
and sand and a pick go hand in hand if you can create glass... which I have done.
SERRATED DISKS FOR EVERYONE! (Also a Human siege came soon after I got the disks, they took a look at my trap bridge than RAN AWAY... not a single one was like, 'DUH, WHAT DOES THIS DO!?')
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Flaming Baby Catapult

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8665 on: July 24, 2014, 02:37:09 pm »

EDIT: Turns out that last weaponsmith was the husband of the captain and now she's "very unhappy."




Facepalm Update: The good news is that the militia captain is ecstatic instead of very unhappy now. The bad news is it's because she threw the doctor/mechanic/recordkeeper/manager/broker into the river. The doctor fell down a waterfall into a major river canyon, next to a giant sponge.


EDIT: He's climbing back up the waterfall, I shit thee not.


EDIT: aaaand the waterfall pushed him back off when he got to the top and now he's unconscious and drowning drowned.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2014, 02:42:21 pm by Untelligent »
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GuesssWho

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8666 on: July 25, 2014, 07:33:36 am »

I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???
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Mortimer1066

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8667 on: July 25, 2014, 11:02:48 am »

I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???

Are they injured?  If injured they need a source of water and an empty bucket. 

I used to have problems where a siege would happen and a few dwarves got injured and I'd lock up the fort and either not have empty buckets or a water source inside and they'd start dying of thirst.
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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8668 on: July 25, 2014, 03:00:55 pm »

I noticed a fungiwood trunk in my barracks, so I chopped it down.


I forgot my barracks were just under the river, and the fungiwood had apparently poked a large hole in the riverbed. I managed to rescue the militia commander, her baby, and a stray cat before the flooding breached the doors, so my only losses are a bunch of equipment I bought from the caravan and some valuable space. I might be able to drain the barracks when the river freezes next winter.
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The World Without Knifebear — A much safer world indeed.
regardless, the slime shooter will be completed, come hell or high water, which are both entirely plausible setbacks at this point.

Sutremaine

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8669 on: July 25, 2014, 04:30:43 pm »

I have 2750 drinks and people keep dying of thirst. WTF???
Are the drinks accessible?
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