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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1400919 times)

Kogan Onulsodel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9750 on: April 17, 2016, 09:44:30 pm »

I played with the melt exploit to train weaponsmiths, armorsmiths, and get infinite weapons-grade materials. Of course, as my weaponsmiths and armorsmiths got proper training, they started producing lots of ☼menacing silver spikes☼. There must have been hundreds lying around. Well, no problem, you can't melt those, but you can trade them away. So a few caravans have come and gone and they've been VERY happy about their haul.

Then, while a human caravan was loading up one year, laden with ☼giant steel axe blades☼, a new mayor came into office and forbade export of menacing spikes. And something like half my fort (of 350 dwarves) had participated in hauling for the human caravan. And of course I'd forgotten to set up a jail. So... probably... 100 beatings scheduled?
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Starweaver396

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9751 on: April 18, 2016, 05:18:51 pm »

I played with the melt exploit to train weaponsmiths, armorsmiths, and get infinite weapons-grade materials. Of course, as my weaponsmiths and armorsmiths got proper training, they started producing lots of ☼menacing silver spikes☼. There must have been hundreds lying around. Well, no problem, you can't melt those, but you can trade them away. So a few caravans have come and gone and they've been VERY happy about their haul.

Then, while a human caravan was loading up one year, laden with ☼giant steel axe blades☼, a new mayor came into office and forbade export of menacing spikes. And something like half my fort (of 350 dwarves) had participated in hauling for the human caravan. And of course I'd forgotten to set up a jail. So... probably... 100 beatings scheduled?

Murder the caravan next time. Or the mayor. (Don't know if either of those actually work.)
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...a limbless, headless, bloodless and mutilated dwarf torso that is nevertheless kept alive through benevolent faerie magicks. He is blind, helpless, and in excruciating pain, and yet does not die...
E: I should point out that this is all because of Starweaver giving me inspiration   Aren't you happy with yourself, Starweaver?

Random_Dragon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9752 on: April 18, 2016, 08:32:23 pm »

Or just not have a sheriff/captain of the guard assigned. o3o
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On DF Wiki On DFFD

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Urist McShire

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9753 on: April 18, 2016, 08:35:03 pm »

Exactly. If there's no officer who can dish out the punishment, then there's no punishment to be had. Just keep the mayor happy with some high quality silver status in his bedroom or office or something.
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Kogan Onulsodel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9754 on: April 19, 2016, 11:27:05 am »

I played with the melt exploit to train weaponsmiths, armorsmiths, and get infinite weapons-grade materials. Of course, as my weaponsmiths and armorsmiths got proper training, they started producing lots of ☼menacing silver spikes☼. There must have been hundreds lying around. Well, no problem, you can't melt those, but you can trade them away. So a few caravans have come and gone and they've been VERY happy about their haul.

Then, while a human caravan was loading up one year, laden with ☼giant steel axe blades☼, a new mayor came into office and forbade export of menacing spikes. And something like half my fort (of 350 dwarves) had participated in hauling for the human caravan. And of course I'd forgotten to set up a jail. So... probably... 100 beatings scheduled?

Murder the caravan next time. Or the mayor. (Don't know if either of those actually work.)

I thought about murdering the mayor. I tried removing him from office, but that didn't work. Maybe I'll have to set up that situation again, so I can murder the mayor, see if that would work. For SCIENCE!

I'm pretty sure murdering the caravan would work, since the issue came up when they left the map. The trouble is that, in a fort of 350 dorfs with multiple megaprojects going on, I didn't notice the new mayor's preferences until the beatings had begun, and then it was too late.
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Saiko Kila

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9755 on: April 20, 2016, 02:31:06 am »

Selling masterwork works the same as melting, for the artisan, so you could melt them anyway, and there will be no criminals. Only some suicides. But suicide isn't a crime, right?
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gunpowdertea

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9756 on: April 20, 2016, 04:03:57 am »

Selling masterwork works the same as melting, for the artisan, so you could melt them anyway, and there will be no criminals. Only some suicides. But suicide isn't a crime, right?

I think this has been fixed (or is about to). The "trading away = destroyed" was a bug, whereas melting = destroying. However, "trading stuff while forbidden" is punishable by a beating (issue helmets to all dorfs, might help the survival rate).
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Kogan Onulsodel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9757 on: April 20, 2016, 09:07:46 am »

I've never had the creator of a masterpiece upset by trading away. I wasn't even aware of this bug. I'm playing unmodded, too (well, a graphics package).
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Bumber

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9758 on: April 20, 2016, 12:39:02 pm »

I've never had the creator of a masterpiece upset by trading away. I wasn't even aware of this bug. I'm playing unmodded, too (well, a graphics package).
It came with the trade export value fix (42.06). IIRC, they're listed as being destroyed by random megabeasts as soon as they leave your fort.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. Was this inevitable (Y/y)?

Player111444

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9759 on: April 20, 2016, 08:28:22 pm »

For Some Reason Dwarves are Aggressive Creatures.

One day a Fisherdwarf was fishing in the river in the east at the end of screen.

a hyena pack shows up.

got a interruption message. "Urist Cancels Fish. Interrupted by Hyena."

But for some reason in 42.06 the hyenas are scared. "Overcome with terror!"

But Urist is a bit of a pickle brain and chases 1 Hyena to kill it.

Not even stopping to kill that Canine.

Called Mr Militia Commander to slap that Hyena and Throw Urist's Face into the Chopping block for being an Suicidal Fool.

It was too late. Hyena got tired and kept whaling on poor UristMcAngryFisherDorf with it's canine teeth.

and Urist finally succumbs to infections or blood loss and the Hyena was Named Famousbrew for some reason. 
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King Kitteh

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9760 on: April 20, 2016, 11:09:15 pm »

But suicide isn't a crime, right?

UristMcDeaddybones, you have been charged with murder... of yourself. How do you plea?

..... Brains...


Guilty! Have him executed!
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Sentient Bowtie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9761 on: April 21, 2016, 05:53:15 am »

Suicide is only a crime so we can legally prevent it.
...Wait, dwarves do this too, right?
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MobRules

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9762 on: April 21, 2016, 03:59:11 pm »

I was playing a reclaimed fortress. The game ran smoothly with 200 visible units, until suddenly fps dropped to 1 from 30.

I fixed it by exterminating all hungry heads using dfhack.

Then I checked their corpses and found some were near a door.
Then I remembered all pre-generated doors were set to pet impassable by default.

Yeah, the "One domesticated turkey trying repeatedly (and unsuccessfully) to path through a locked-to-pets-door, bringing the FPS down by an order of magnitude" bug drives me crazy. I've just stopped setting doors to be usable-by-dwarves-but-not-by-pets until such time as the bug is fixed. (But the pre-generated door would have caught me up as well; I wouldn't have thought to check it initially)
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Is this biome reanimating? I really don't want to know what happens when "absurd numbers of megabeasts" is combined with "reanimating biomes".

King Kitteh

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9763 on: April 21, 2016, 11:46:26 pm »

Wait, can Dwarves blame eachother for another Dwarf's suicide? If so that's genius.

In other news my fort was destroyed by giant alligators before I could even designate a single tree to be cut.
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Saiko Kila

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9764 on: April 22, 2016, 02:36:33 am »

I retired a fortress for testing, to see if this helps with near-death FPS. Well, it didn't really, maybe because of all these fights between giants and cyclopses, or a fire started by a dragon wanting to help fight a forgotten beast...

But face palm moment was when I realised that my fort now belongs to a goblin civ. Or rather a "revived" dwarf civ, whose members are somehow also members of a goblin civ, which (practically) conquered said dwarf civ (which is different than the original dwarf civ my fort belonged to before). Even their names are goblin. For example the current queen is a dwarf who was an administrator of some hillock under the goblin civ. The hillock was conquered by the goblins 50 years before her birth. And now she is a puppet queen of the civ of her ancestors. I doubt she even speaks Dwarven. Still, my duchesses and other dwarves are apparently part of the original civ, at least according to the CIV ID. Just the land was stolen from under their feet.
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