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[Valliant]

Everything's going well, the fort is growing, I'm having trouble keeping up with the demand for barrels for booze, but there's water outside so no big deal even if it's kinda nasty. The caravan shows up and I buy a ton of meat for resale in the form of tasty tasty roasts later in the year. Mistake #1.

It becomes Winter and starts to snow. I set 30 more barrels to make and assume that'll be enough to get boozemaking started again. Mistake #2.

During this winter I finally finish the reservoir setup to drain all the stagnant ponds into pleasant underground holding tanks, with wells to be set up as soon as the miners finish stripping the area. I put in grates to protect the drainage pipes, but don't think to put floodgates on the surface to let the ponds refill there. Mistake #3.

 I see my first dwarf die of thirst. I go: "Huh, must have gotten trapped somewhere." He died in a hallway in the middle of my fort. "Hm, that's odd." The second one dies. "WTF?" I check my booze supply and see nothing, but I see a wave of meat products spilling out of my food prep stockpiles.  "#%*#(&%#@&^(#&#!!!!!!!"

It's almost spring, so I drop the permitted barrels in the food stockpiles to zero, set every carpenter to making barrels like mad, and pray for a thaw. It thaws, and all the once frozen ponds DROP INTO MY WELL PREPARED BUT COMPLETELY INACCESSIBLE RESERVOIRS! 

Long story short, I lost half my fort, including my mayor, to dehydration, with full reservoirs of water. >.<

[Pickled Tink]

Built a very large fortress. Had produced well over 5 million wealth without adamantine, had withstood scores of ambushes, and dozens of seiges, and four megabeast attacks. Was going great, I was feeling invincible. My main floor level was a huge sprawling stockpile area with furnature, crafts, cloth, leather, etc. Pretty much everything under the sun. The underground river blocked expansion southwards, but I did what I could (Digging in would have flooded everything. It was an interesting feature, starting high and having four waterfalls along the way, one prior to the stockpiles, before falling down a chasm near the HFS)

Downstairs I had the food stockpiles, farms, magma smelters, upstairs the craft shops. Three floors down I had the dining room, then below that there were all my bedrooms (For about 200 dwarves), and the tombs under that.

I decided I wanted to build a self sustaining waterfall for my dining room. No biggie, done it before, so I dug a path to fill a reservoir, floodgated it all up, linked it so I could fill by stages instead of drowning everyone. I dug a channel from the side of the river to let the water in. Water goes down the hole. Water fills the reservoir. Water backs up the huge hole. Water escapes through the hole I didn't notice on the stockpile level. Water floods my stockpiles area with incredible speed. Water floods everything before I can get water stop measures in place. Water floods over the only stairwell. Water drowns a huge proportion of my population who were trapped in the bedrooms with no way out (I have to say that some of my dwarves did admire the new waterfall in the dining room though). Water continues to flow into my stockpiles with great force. Water washes all my stockpiles out the front doors. Water floods the walled woodcutting area. Water washes everything out the gatehouse.

That fort was absolutely unrecoverable. It was awesome.

[Arkenstone]

Artifact barrels are awesome. What could be better than drinking beer out of a giant carved gem with a picture of itself on it?

Drinking spiked elven wine out of it and looking at the pictures.

The dwarves put dimple cups in it. X[

[Ivar360]

I think i just barely escaped a face palm moment....
I've been focussing mostly on my magma forges and haven't touched the new military stuff yet, so my forts defence exists of 3 cage traps and a drawbridge. As I was working on the forge, the game paused to tell me this:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I had seen stuff like this before, and the monsters were always in the caves, but this one seemed to come from the side of the map itself, I couldnt find it, so i figured it was probably gone and carried on forging.
Then I got a somewhat alarming message about my bonobo-killing guard bear:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When i went to see what the fuss was about i found the bear, and a few feet over i found his severed head!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I freaked out because I still couldnt find the damn Ettin who just decapitated my main defensive unit in a single blow and feared the worst.... then i noticed the cage trap next to the bears head and found:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That crappy little cage trap I installed to keep the monkeys from bothering my dwarves just saved my ass!
Now I just have to figure out how to savely deal with a two headed monster in a wooden cage inside my fortres....... any ideas?

[123BIG]

Now I just have to figure out how to savely deal with a two headed monster in a wooden cage inside my fortres....... any ideas?

Pour magma on it. Duh!

[Ivar360]

Actually, I think I'm going to try and cath the hairy salamander with a trunk that's trying to get into the fort from the caverns and have them fight each other for the amusement of my hardworking dorfs.... or die trying..

[inteuniso]

I think i just barely escaped a face palm moment....
I've been focussing mostly on my magma forges and haven't touched the new military stuff yet, so my forts defence exists of 3 cage traps and a drawbridge. As I was working on the forge, the game paused to tell me this:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I had seen stuff like this before, and the monsters were always in the caves, but this one seemed to come from the side of the map itself, I couldnt find it, so i figured it was probably gone and carried on forging.
Then I got a somewhat alarming message about my bonobo-killing guard bear:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When i went to see what the fuss was about i found the bear, and a few feet over i found his severed head!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I freaked out because I still couldnt find the damn Ettin who just decapitated my main defensive unit in a single blow and feared the worst.... then i noticed the cage trap next to the bears head and found:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That crappy little cage trap I installed to keep the monkeys from bothering my dwarves just saved my ass!
Now I just have to figure out how to savely deal with a two headed monster in a wooden cage inside my fortres....... any ideas?

Actually, monsters aren't too bad, as long as they don't breathe fire.

I underestimated an ocean titan that was a giant three eyed capybara. When it started spouting fire like a dragon, that was insane. Of course, Urist Bowelsack comes out of nowhere with his trusty pick and sinks it right into the titans head.

[The butcher]

i hit sleep while very thirsty [i think it's called that]while right next to a river....so i died when i could of saved my char...damn.Wait no i just had somthing much worse..i went to get revenge for my fallen character i was also on a quest to kill a named cyclops [which killed my last character]i decided to bring 2 lashers and a fish cleaner we kill the named cyclops's [there was 2 named and 3 un-named]and mortaly wounded the unamed ones i took the named cyclops's corpses and dump them next to a tree which is shortly on fire i sleep not close but in sight of the tree and guess what?i burn in my sleep.

[Krath]

On one of my first fortresses, I decided I needed to clear out all the loose stones in my large 10x10 dining room.

I didn't even know about the mass dumping feature back then. I went through 100 tiles, one by one, marking each stone for dumping.

[Cwal]

       Embarked along a cliff above a minor river with several streams feeding into it.  Set up a deathtrap entrance that had the cliff on one side and a drop into water on the other.  Realized I wasn't getting flow that would clean out the trench, so I dropped it one level using a cave in.  Still had too much water so I set up a pump to drain one of the channels feeding it, and sent my mason in to fill in the gap in case I got hit by building destroyers.  He was my legendary mason.  I didn't realize that he had fishing enabled.  He built the wall, then tried to fish out of the channel and got washed in by one tile of 2/7 water. 
      A year later a titan arrived and traversed the one tile wide entrance.  He didn't get hit by any weapon traps, but he dodged off the edge when he reached my bear on a chain.  Unfortunately he dodged into the channel and not the river.  He is still down there, and I have had to build a new entrance to the fort because my dwarves won't get close enough to build a cavein platform. Ended up reverting to the beginning of the season after I attempted to get the water flowing enough to flush him out.  When the child removed the floor to cave in the section, it knocked a random dorf off the walkway, into the river, where he exploded.  The child then proceeded to fall into the channel and be sucked into the lower level by the water moving.  The forest titan didn't move a single tile.

[Egregius]

-"Hey you mean by pressing 'z' I can actually choose what kind of cabinet goes in the noble's room?"

From a way earlier page (am only now reading this thread): I read this, and thought: "Hey, that's useful!". Only much later I realised this applied to building cages with specific animals in my zoos as well, as I could never figure out beforehand which cage (with which animal) was going to be placed...unless I hit this one key.

This thread has been a fun read..

[Arkenstone]

On one of my first fortresses, I decided I needed to clear out all the loose stones in my large 10x10 dining room.

I didn't even know about the mass dumping feature back then. I went through 100 tiles, one by one, marking each stone for dumping.

I've done that dozens of times... 

[Zaibusa]

Fortress in the 4th year, everything works smoothly, nice defence for the fortress itself but hardly any military.

Now my miners were ambushed while mining a far away (but huge) coal veine. Other dwarfs were already there to gather the minerals, so i quickly deleted all the digging designations and forbid EVERYTHING outside. Every last bolt, bone, stone. . . Still my dwarfs ran outside, mostly with "no job", others with jobs like give water / food or recover wounded. Thing was, that the goblins only had weak weapons and were hitting on my dwarfs for minutes! They didn't manage to kill them, so other dwarfs grabbed them right while they were beeing attacked and tried to bring them to a save spot. But those damn idiots started running away from the goblin after they recovered the wounded - NOT heading towards the base. As a result i had 20 Goblins hunting for nearly my whole fortress which was too damn stupid to stay inside.
My military was asleep by the way.


So, is there any way to give civilians an order like "Stay inside" while still doing every job they can do without leaving the halls?

[atomicthumbs]

So, is there any way to give civilians an order like "Stay inside" while still doing every job they can do without leaving the halls?

burrow

[Reese]

So... my mason gets a mood and grabs a workshop and picks up some stone and then... "I need leather!"

So, since I didn't have any and the human caravan just left, I grab my recruits and send them off to slice up some of the elephants that are on my map.

They proceed to do so with the equipment they have on- full steel armor and training axes *facepalm*

So I go in to their equip settings and change them to the regular uniform from the training uniform, and I'm feeling good, so I send them out to kill an elephant... and they are still running around with training axes.  Because I haven't made steel axes yet. *face palm*

Then the dwarf caravan arrives and I buy a crate of leather- the caravan wounds one of the elephants on the way in, and my mason gets to work on his artifact.

He produces Mengthulgärem, "The Inconsiderate General", a limestone hatch cover.

And, yes, it has a recursive image of itself on it in leather.