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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1401105 times)

Shurhaian

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2295 on: August 09, 2010, 02:48:21 am »

Yeah, I've been trying to limit my military to men for just that reason. Child Protection Services would go into apoplexy if they found themselves inside DF.

My migrants, however, have other ideas. Seems 90% of the time when I get a migrant with decent military skills, either it's for weapons I can't make(though the other skills make it not a total waste) or a female or both. Not that I don't think dwarven women can't fight, but until there's a day care(or, alternately, until the men are able to tend children) I don't really want them to.

And, of course, my prospective soldiers are the ones that get taken by moods, if it's not a possession...
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Working on: drakes - making the skies(mostly) a bit more varied

My guards need something better to do than make my nobles happy with hugs and justice.

deoxys413

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2296 on: August 09, 2010, 12:11:50 pm »

3 babies just drowned in my pumping system due to neglectful mothers :/

Heh, I always get "Urist McWrestler cancels spar: seeking infant".  I can just imagine dwarven babies flying through the air after a particularly rough takedown....
And to that, I picture what would most assuredly happen during a tantrum spiral of babies being thrown around like food in a cafeteria.  :P
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WATER is the universal solvent.
MAGMA is the universal solution.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2297 on: August 09, 2010, 12:36:13 pm »

summary of my post in What's going on in your fort:

Quote
...I should mention that my garbage dump is immediately behind my main drawbridge. From gamelog.txt with annotations:

...The savanna titan Ozstag has come!  A towering one-eyed spider.  It has a knobby trunk and it has a regal bearing.  Its lavender exoskeleton is wrinkled.  Beware its poisonous bite!
<raises drawbridge>
Some migrants have arrived. <--Yay sacrifices while I make weapons and armor for my military! Especially armor, that's important, you know. I wish I had an armorer with some skill...
<moments later>
Me: Fuck. Why now? Armok? Are you there? I hate you. And your spider. Fuck you sideways with a poleaxe. Both of you.
<carnage and cancellation spam>
The elf Diagnoser Lesana Lalic¢ce from Lin¨ Pacila has arrived.
A elven caravan from Lin¨ Pacila has arrived. ( :D)
`Unfortunate Victim' Desornish, Chose Wrong Time To Migrate has been struck down. <-- High master armorsmith, only useful migrant in the sacrifice wave, last to arrive, Armok is an asshole.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Dora Feddy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2298 on: August 09, 2010, 12:43:17 pm »

I just had a miner die of infection for apparently no reason. I checked his status to see what injuries caused him to die, and... Oh, he was just missing his upper bod- WAIT WHAT?! *facepalm* God I hope he didn't go too long as just a pair of legs.
Urist Mcminer cancels dig.  no hands

*sigh* I TOLD them not to play with the stray cave crocodiles. They nip.
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Internet Kraken

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2299 on: August 09, 2010, 01:07:28 pm »

My Dwavres seem to have collectively gotten dumber. First my digger, for inexplicable reasons, decides to charge into the ocean and drowns in the process. Then two masons somehow get lost in the caverns. I have no idea how they both managed this since the caverns are blocked off.

Originally I was going to dig them an escape route, but they apparently pissed off one of the local Forgotten Beasts. The first mason never stood a chance. The beast grabbed him by his toe, and it decapitated him by scratching his head. No way I'm letting this guy into my fort. Shortly after the second mason stumbled upon his friend's headless corpse and the beast began to chase him. He's currently running for his life down in the caverns, barely managing to avoid the abomination. I doubt he'll be able to lose it but if he somehow does I guess I'll dig him a way back in. Though things look pretty grim for him. There are two Forgotten Beasts down there, and odds are he's going to end up caught between the two of them.
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Picture a dwarf, warrior, mechanic, or some other incredibly useful profession. Now picture him dead. That's what infections do.
[NOPAIN] no gain.
Escapist Reveredtour Let's Play.

Spectre

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2300 on: August 09, 2010, 01:10:42 pm »

Then two masons somehow get lost in the caverns. I have no idea how they both managed this since the caverns are blocked off.
Look at this for a while. You answered the question yourself.
It's rather classy.
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Internet Kraken

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2301 on: August 09, 2010, 01:15:27 pm »

Then two masons somehow get lost in the caverns. I have no idea how they both managed this since the caverns are blocked off.
Look at this for a while. You answered the question yourself.
It's rather classy.

 Oh yeah. I forgot about a masons idiotic desire to builds walls in the dumbest manner possible. Well they both paid for their idiocy with death. The second mason had both of his arms scratched off, then the beast scratched him in the lower body, severing him in two. I can't say I'm particularly heartbroken about this loss.
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Picture a dwarf, warrior, mechanic, or some other incredibly useful profession. Now picture him dead. That's what infections do.
[NOPAIN] no gain.
Escapist Reveredtour Let's Play.

Spectre

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2302 on: August 09, 2010, 01:23:25 pm »

This fits perfectly. =D

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Jayce

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2303 on: August 09, 2010, 02:21:39 pm »

Building a windmill out of stone.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2304 on: August 09, 2010, 02:44:17 pm »

Building a windmill out of stone.

How?
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Jayce

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2305 on: August 09, 2010, 02:59:43 pm »

Dunno was an older version of df,new one only seems to allow wood.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2306 on: August 09, 2010, 03:24:51 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WHAT.

Two facepalms here: one is that Ozstag there has been chasing that bull calf for near a full season, the other is the human caravan showing up RIGHT FUCKING THERE. Oh, and the liaison too. I didn't even notice him until I uploaded the image. This will be... entertaining.

The corpse two tiles north of the leopard is the high master armorsmith.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Internet Kraken

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2307 on: August 09, 2010, 05:37:10 pm »

Wow. The captain of my Fortress Guard is dead. A berserk camel somehow kicked him in the head so hard that his brain was shoved through his skull. I'm just astounded by his incompetence. How does a fully armored dwarf lose to a camel!?!?
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Picture a dwarf, warrior, mechanic, or some other incredibly useful profession. Now picture him dead. That's what infections do.
[NOPAIN] no gain.
Escapist Reveredtour Let's Play.

Libelnon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2308 on: August 09, 2010, 07:39:00 pm »

I just had a pair of legendary miners plummet 4 z levels into a cavern when channelling out a new pit over the cavern layer. Someone managed to isolate something that collapsed, and the two miners were standing on it. One miner plummeted into a pool and drowned, the other crushed both lungs on impact and quickly suffocated.

The bigger facepalm is that there is nobody else in the fort with mining skill. So we now have to suffer through a newly-drafted peasant mining out the rest of that room. *sigh*
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I bet manly tea tastes like crushed nerd dreams.

Twobeard

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #2309 on: August 09, 2010, 10:01:34 pm »

Yeah, I've been trying to limit my military to men for just that reason. Child Protection Services would go into apoplexy if they found themselves inside DF.


You seem to be missing the point my good man. Women in DF breed to damn much anyway. I allocate women to the military for presicely the reason you dont want them there. It helps kill them off. Which is great. Damned breeders. SOOOO MANY CHILDREN. *facepalm* If i could put children into squads i would do that.
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A leg of ham, a jug of beer and thou besides me, whistling in the darkness.
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