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[Harke the Boeotarch]

My fortress had only one entrance; a 3 tile wide hallway filled with thirty spiked wooden ball weapon traps in ten neat rows (the first row of weapon traps had only one spiked ball in each trap, the second two and so on, until the last row where they all had ten balls). After that, six cage traps and a war dog.
The entrance had two drawbridges each linked to a lever in a sculpture garden. No army yet.

Somedwarf is appointed to be mayor, and I've just struck plenty of native gold; let's make some furniture!

I haven't had anything worse than the odd goblin snatchter, but I'm getting kind of suspicious...

The first drawbridge is in the ice wall around my entrance. I decide I going to build a tower made out of ice on top, so my marksdwarves -that I still don't have yet- can shoot those nasty goblins. I need to have a stairwell down to my meeting hall so the dwarves can actually go up, bypassing the traps, and I construct a walled off area out of ice. One problem, the dwarf who made it is now locked inside and the stairwell isn't finished yet. Never mind; let's dig though the wall and build a door there.

It all seems to work. The ice tower gets another floor, and the fort now has 88 happy citizens.
But wait! What's this?

''A vile force of darkness has arrived!''    

Pull lever. Entrance closed. Still no army. Forbid door. Wait a sec! The door has never been built!
Goblins neatly bypass all traps.

#FACEPALM THE FIRST#

Blood is everywhere. Quickly close off the nether regions on the fort with a forbidden door. Pfew!
22 dwarves left and falling. Hunting for vermin? No food stockpiles where the goblins can't slaughter you.

#FACEPALM THE SECOND#

They all starved.

[Niccolo]

Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?

It means that things can't be butchered and milked...better off removing it.

<.< I forgot that rhetorical stuff doesn't carry so well throguh writing.

xD I know what it does... it's just that I've seen ants with more self-preservation than that particular set of dwarves. I mean, they were stupider than usual.

Which I wasn't aware was possible.

[UristMcHuman]

Does the [intelligent] tag mean nothing?

The wiki says that dwarves are "intelligent". Apparently the [INTELLIGENT] tag doesn't work all that well.

Similarly, I have a fort that has lots of coal. I'm running out of fuel and trees are too scarce and therefore too valuable to make fuel out of. I also have way more dwarves than houses at this point, so I need stone to make more homes. JUST AFTER I DESIGNATE THE DIGGING, my only three miners/masons decide that this is the BEST time to go on break. For a season and a half. My happiness is plummeting, (no) thanks to my "useful" miners.

[MaximumZero]

You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel.

[UristMcHuman]

I lost my metalworker, my farmer, and my woodcutter to two giant beetles. I didn't know that they were hostile at the sight of a dwarf!

*face-palms*

My remaining dwarfs are: My doctor, my miner (thank Armok!), my crafts-dwarf, and my leader.

[AWdeV]

Via two fortuitous moods I now have a Legendary Gem Cutter and a Legendary Gem Setter.


Now if only I had gems in any meaningful quantity...

[BornInATrailer]

You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel.

I'm new here, so I'll ask...  is modding in bio-diesel Dorfy, filthy-hippy-Elfish or some unspeakable hybrid of both?  Does the fact that, while eco-friendly, this both ultimately creates a new way to burn plants and likely offends Elves make it ultimately solidly Dwarven?

[jc6036]

Its not eco friendly. He would still be raping the land for plants, thus pissing hippies off even further.

[Shootandrun]

So apparently there is a deadly syndrome in the lower levels of my fortress killing people, and I did'nt notice it at all because of my five butchers killing dozens and dozens of baby cave crocs (you know, after a while you just stop reading...).

Right now, 50 dorfs are dead, 20 or so are about to die and 40 or so might die anyway (there's infected pus between them and the living areas of the lower levels, which contain the food and drink stockpiles, and I'm not about to let any of these in the upper levels). At least my isolation system prevented the infection from spreading to the upper levels (important industries, major farms, half of the military...).

Oh well. I'll put all the survivors of the lower levels in the cavern bunkers and flood the whole damn thing with magma, which will then start a forest fire in the caverns and finally make the 3rd caverns completely inhabitable.

[Niccolo]

You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel.

I'm new here, so I'll ask...  is modding in bio-diesel Dorfy, filthy-hippy-Elfish or some unspeakable hybrid of both?  Does the fact that, while eco-friendly, this both ultimately creates a new way to burn plants and likely offends Elves make it ultimately solidly Dwarven?

Also, understand that in the long run there really are three sources of power available to you for mechanics and smelting: Wind and water (for mechanics) and geothermal for smelting.

The trick to avoiding being an Elf is to make everything possible out of wood.

Including the bridge thatyou launch Elves off of into a pool of magma.

[FrisianDude]

You could always do like I did. I modded plant oil into furnace fuel.

I'm new here, so I'll ask...  is modding in bio-diesel Dorfy, filthy-hippy-Elfish or some unspeakable hybrid of both?  Does the fact that, while eco-friendly, this both ultimately creates a new way to burn plants and likely offends Elves make it ultimately solidly Dwarven?

Why even ask? A person who changes his plans and ideas based on Elven opinions is not a Dwarf.

[Haedrian]

Had a 40 population fort. The water froze as usual. The booze ran out. The containers ran out too, though there's a ton of food.

Everyone is now dying of thirst. Then the caravan came! However I told them earlier to bring llama cages (^_^) and metal bars. So there's no booze.

Population is now 7. Lets see how long this takes.

[FrisianDude]

Strike the earth anyway, what's the worst that could happen?

[AWdeV]

Yeah, it couldn't get any worse.


Anyway. Two of my war elephants keep following their owners and won't go towards the pasture I've assigned them to. :/ Would be a bit of a waste to have them starve.

[ShadowBroker]

i was making a pretty standard pitfall to break anyone knocking on my door, when i designated my miners to channel out multiple layers at once. instead of clearing a floor at a time, theyrandomly dug out untill i got the message that the cavern had collapsed, killing them both