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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1378820 times)

zach123b

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5610 on: January 21, 2012, 12:20:31 am »

playing with the masterwork mod i started in a desert with a cave, on 1 of the challenges, no items from embark
trees were scarce but there were none, few plants but i head for the cave for hope.  inside were a pack of trogdalytes 20 spots from the entrance(constant cancellations). i get a working fortress waiting for the caravan with little to worry about and few deaths from animal/human things, i think 3 total. had a titan attack, air man i think, killed 2 guys >>
caravan came, failed getting a pick(2.5k cost somehow) then forgot i should get an anvil but i was drained buying some random oddities with overstock of food so i steal from them, more animal/human guys and my dwarfs were going meloncholy from death and miasma being so far down in a cave... so i charge the trogdalytes with stolen stuff and somehow we won with 2 people alive, 1 meloncholy and 1 woodcutter, hard time salvaging the fortress thinking 'i got this' killing reptile people with 1 i survived mainly from a hellfire turret a immigrant brought and a slade turret i stole but im running low on supplies but the fortress was a wreck.. with 1 sane dwarf, fought off a troll but soon after a seige hit me of undead.  the turrets were winning even though they were half broken... my last dwarf died of thirst cuz the hellfire turret burnt it up
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Doomshifter

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5611 on: January 21, 2012, 12:34:29 am »

A Forgotten Beast approached my fortress. I thought, "Oh crap!" until I noticed it was made of salt. I thought to myself, "Hey, don't salt-based forgotten beasts fall apart really easily?"

I sent my militia out and was rewarded with all my dead dwarves. Hurrah.
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doublestrafe

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5612 on: January 21, 2012, 05:33:49 am »

The noble fortress of Whiteletter was founded in the early spring of 251, when seven brave dwarves crossed the frozen river The Ferocious Moth to find, hidden between two dark and evil forests, a fertile plateau, harsh and untamed but welcoming to those of stout heart. Though the waters never thawed, removing hope of the river serving as a barrier between the dwarves and the unholy fiends that emerged, reeking and dripping flesh, from the dark woods, the dwarves dug deep and built strong. Making clever use of the natural waters of the ground, they made mighty constructions and mechanisms, feeding their wells, designing beautiful waterfalls, and drawing the very lifeblood of Armok from the fiery depths of the earth. Enemies crashed and broke like waves against its walls, or died, swarmed like intruders in a hive. Nothing could break the spirit of Whiteletter.

Then, long about 266, I noticed that weather and temperature had gotten turned off in LNP somehow, and when I turned them back on, my FPS was 17 instead of 40. Without temperature, my magma is useless.

My fortress is doomed.
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usgreth

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5613 on: January 22, 2012, 07:30:38 am »

Clothes lying about everywhere annoys me, so I decided, when the caravan arrives, I am selling every piece of accessible unowned clothing and if really necesaary unload a few more stone bracelts and figurines for the tourists. Check mayor- he wants 3 steel items, good no problem there. Epic move of goods to the trade depot, much trading is done. Mechants pack up and head off..
Mayor gets his steel items and declares export of cave spider silk items illegal, hmm handy I just traded all that stuff already..wait why are 69 dorfs now charged with export violations :s I guess the prohibition counted since the merchants were still on the map, d'oh!
no more satisfying mandates while merchants are in town!
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Yoink

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5614 on: January 22, 2012, 09:47:13 am »

So, having an abundance of crundles and wanting some kindof creature to guard my fort's younglings, I modded them to be tameable. After beaming happily at seeing my trainer get to work, I take a closer look at the job...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Tibbz2

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5615 on: January 23, 2012, 11:09:55 am »

Facepalm moment having to leave DF for a while :(

However I now have my new PC built and ready to play DF again!
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raptorfangamer

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5616 on: January 23, 2012, 12:56:05 pm »

seeing various designs but forgetting that I could just see some historical buildings for my fun-over efficiency fortress
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Kelenyche

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5617 on: January 23, 2012, 01:57:04 pm »

Flooding my first fort in over two years, trying to make wells...  Had to scumsave to fix it. :(
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Eric Blank

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5618 on: January 23, 2012, 02:55:47 pm »

I panicked when I saw that Toady One ahd made a thread called "Hi, I'm here to Destroy the World." There was no way that could possibly be good for us. Then I read it, and realized it was from spring 2008, and some jackasscomedic genius had necro'd it to screw with us. I facepalmed.
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Rude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5619 on: January 24, 2012, 12:45:40 pm »

There was a soldier in traction for a long time, and he wasn't healing up for some reason (he wasn't hurt bad, it must have been a smashed arm or something.) the doctors totally ignored him and I couldn't figure out why. I'd check on him every month or so and it was the same. checked the z->h menu and it said he had been treated, sutured, casted and as far as I could tell ready to go, but no one would let him out of traction. His "pets" were always visiting.
So one day I check the reports and find 15 pages of "the hungry head bites the soldier in the head, but its deflected by steel helm" wtf? I zoom to location and find, sure enough, his "pet dog" was a hungry head which scared away anyone who stepped into the hospital. (for some reason I just assumed 'h' meant dog as in 'h'ound despite knowing better. probably because I play stone soup, where dogs are usually 'h.') For all I know, the head could have been in there so long, that the reports grew old, and needed to "refresh" the fight to the top of the reports before I finally noticed. He could have been in there for years. (on second thought it couldn't have been to long, because he wasn't particularly hungry or thirsty) Unfortunately, it seems unconscious dwarves don't gain experience or getting bit in the head doesn't give experience because he's still a mediocre soldier.
As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)
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Rockphed

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5620 on: January 24, 2012, 03:55:01 pm »

There was a soldier in traction for a long time, and he wasn't healing up for some reason (he wasn't hurt bad, it must have been a smashed arm or something.) the doctors totally ignored him and I couldn't figure out why. I'd check on him every month or so and it was the same. checked the z->h menu and it said he had been treated, sutured, casted and as far as I could tell ready to go, but no one would let him out of traction. His "pets" were always visiting.
So one day I check the reports and find 15 pages of "the hungry head bites the soldier in the head, but its deflected by steel helm" wtf? I zoom to location and find, sure enough, his "pet dog" was a hungry head which scared away anyone who stepped into the hospital. (for some reason I just assumed 'h' meant dog as in 'h'ound despite knowing better. probably because I play stone soup, where dogs are usually 'h.') For all I know, the head could have been in there so long, that the reports grew old, and needed to "refresh" the fight to the top of the reports before I finally noticed. He could have been in there for years. (on second thought it couldn't have been to long, because he wasn't particularly hungry or thirsty) Unfortunately, it seems unconscious dwarves don't gain experience or getting bit in the head doesn't give experience because he's still a mediocre soldier.
As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)

When your primary food source is disabled dwarves, livers are much more important than brains.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

MagmaSolutionsInc

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5621 on: January 25, 2012, 06:36:33 am »

There was a soldier in traction for a long time, and he wasn't healing up for some reason (he wasn't hurt bad, it must have been a smashed arm or something.) the doctors totally ignored him and I couldn't figure out why. I'd check on him every month or so and it was the same. checked the z->h menu and it said he had been treated, sutured, casted and as far as I could tell ready to go, but no one would let him out of traction. His "pets" were always visiting.
So one day I check the reports and find 15 pages of "the hungry head bites the soldier in the head, but its deflected by steel helm" wtf? I zoom to location and find, sure enough, his "pet dog" was a hungry head which scared away anyone who stepped into the hospital. (for some reason I just assumed 'h' meant dog as in 'h'ound despite knowing better. probably because I play stone soup, where dogs are usually 'h.') For all I know, the head could have been in there so long, that the reports grew old, and needed to "refresh" the fight to the top of the reports before I finally noticed. He could have been in there for years. (on second thought it couldn't have been to long, because he wasn't particularly hungry or thirsty) Unfortunately, it seems unconscious dwarves don't gain experience or getting bit in the head doesn't give experience because he's still a mediocre soldier.
As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)

Just think - the new version will allow for a hungry head head!
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Splint

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5622 on: January 25, 2012, 04:33:51 pm »

Testing an airlock system with the drawbridges, a goblin thief tripped the pressure plates I had installed in front so it'd catapult them into the wall.  Well, I found that it instead tripped, flung them up a z level, and then the bridge came crashing down on ethier head.

That's all well and good until I saw my butcher go flying up, come back down, and then get squashed by the bridge. I wondered what had caused it until I checked the units list and found a dead goblin thief among the pages of dead giant badgers, cougars, and turkeys. Seems the gobo had done an unintended kamikaze run and got himself killed undetected.

The lesson: The atom smasher is mighty, just hope a thief dont trigger it while your dorfs are crossing.

Less facepalm, more wtf: Moose man strangled a dwarf's pet cavy to death for no reason. subsequently punched the owner in the temple and got beat to death by armydorfs with training spears. And before you ask, I forgot to lock the door to the room I let the moose men out. Wanted to use them as live dummies and got a dead cavy, legendary clothesmaker, injured broker, and a bunch of pissed armydorfs (Not unhappy, just usual "I got drafted" pissy.) Oh and a bunch of dead moosemen the armydorfs took thier frustration out on.

bombzero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5623 on: January 25, 2012, 05:10:57 pm »

As for the hungry head; 1 master spear dwarf destroyed his liver with a (copper spear) and then poked his wing off. (lol, hungry heads have liver in their head, where do they keep their brains?)

holy shit, they are dwarfier than we think.
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kaenneth

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5624 on: January 26, 2012, 05:17:04 pm »

Less facepalm, more wtf: Moose man strangled a dwarf's pet cavy to death for no reason.

Was the Cavy in a hat?, and/or named Rocky?

WTB: combat log of a moose man punching a squirrel so it goes flying.
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