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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2130752 times)

Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5805 on: February 21, 2012, 01:50:17 am »

I just watched 3 members of my fortress and my war grizzly bear die to a waterfall.
They are pretty vicious...

badger.. waterfall... badger boar.... waterfall..... giant badger boar...... waterfall....... I DONT KNOW WHICH TO CHOOSE.


also fuzzyzergling i cant decide whether the creature your name implies would be cute or abominable.

Both.  It would be quite the sight to behold, until it ate you.

...

Also, I just watched the most skilled melee dwarf* in my fortress get headshotted by a lone goblin archer.  Through full adamantine.  Then a fresh recruit walked up and lopped the goblin's head off so hard it landed on a nearby roof.  I facepalmed.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*25 years of military life got him to this...   He could have been better if I used danger rooms, but I'm not in this fort.  Organic training only, involving 250 dead goblins to his name alone.   Fortunately I have a few more dwarves in his squad that are nearly this good, so this is a bad loss but not crippling.
Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5806 on: February 21, 2012, 02:06:04 am »


Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to
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Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5807 on: February 21, 2012, 02:26:23 am »


Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to

Indeed.

Also, I have an entire squad listed as "missing" but they were just recruits from a fresh migrant wave so I'm not sure I care much.
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5808 on: February 21, 2012, 09:12:03 am »

At the moment I certainly have one Dwarf missing without even me knowing of his death. And another one who's ghosting around in the lava sea.
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doublestrafe

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5809 on: February 21, 2012, 02:02:56 pm »

Brand new .2 fortress. Nice flat woodland next to a sinister volcano, lots of vile ooze rain, totally awesome. By the time I've got 40 dwarves, I've got plenty of food and booze, not much metal dug out yet but I've got the makings of bismuth bronze, some gold and silver veins, and galena. No livestock but a bunch of turkeys around the single hatch door. And then THE DEAD WALK.

Ok, it says to hide, so I hide. I un-pasture the turkeys and they all make a beeline for the dining room, which is fine. Then I lock the door. Necromancers aren't building destroyers, and apparently neither is the were-gila monster that shows up. I'm locked in but I'm safe.

Then I follow someone's advice to safely tap the shaft of the volcano, and it turns out to be bad advice. That's fine, I guess--I lost a legendary miner, but you can always make more of those. I set a couple of good-for-nothings to play in the dirt. Looking above ground, the zombie hordes are all hanging out near the edge of the map, so I don't worry about designating over the tiny murky pool in the way; I'll just build a wall under it to keep my dwarves from being scared if anything wanders by above.

Murky pools have ramps now.
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Telgin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5810 on: February 21, 2012, 02:12:08 pm »

I'm curious, can you have dorves that are just missing, or would are they always dead?

Unless something has changed, Toady stated that for now if you get a missing notification they're dead.  At least I'm pretty sure that's what he said.

Anyway, face palm moment for me: had a bit of fun with my atomic trash compactor.  I watched my citizens haul crap to it for about a month.  Then I watched it for a little while once they were done, making sure nobody would step into it as I was getting ready to pull the lever.  I give the order.  Naturally, someone beelines for it at that moment and goes splat.

Guess I should have put the compactor in a pit.  Oh well, lesson learned.
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narhiril

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5811 on: February 21, 2012, 02:39:40 pm »

I decided to give my manager an ego boost, so I commissioned a statue for his office.  My manager is a fairly normal fellow, who just happens to hate rats with an undying passion.

So my troll of a stonemason decided to make a statue of none other than my manager in obsidian, utterly surrounded by rats.  Needless to say, my manager took issue with that looming over him as he worked, so now I need to commission another statue.

This is why I love this game.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2012, 02:41:50 pm by narhiril »
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Gullydwarf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5812 on: February 21, 2012, 06:08:14 pm »

Having my miner being frozen alive because I decided to dig my aquifer plug in my arctic environment from the top down... "Urist McMiner has been missing for 1 week!"
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rtg593

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5813 on: February 21, 2012, 08:12:30 pm »


Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to

It's Kcuhc McNorris!
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Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5814 on: February 21, 2012, 08:30:49 pm »


Superdwarvenly tough
Extremely agile
A few other good traits I can't remember, and delicious combat skills:
+5 Legendary fighter ("Stuff dies if I stare at it.")
+5 Legendary axedwarf (!!! "Here's Johnny!")
+4 Legendary shield user ("Ye think yer so tough don't ye?  Comere an' kiss me shield!")
+5 Legendary dodger ("Dodge this!"  "Ok.")
+2 Legendary armor user ("It's like me second skin."
Grand Master Misc. Object user ("What is this I don't even?"  *throws object*)
Grand Master biter (*chomp*)
High master kicker ("Goblins stop fightn' real quickish if ye kick em hard 'nuff.")
Skilled wrestler (*Menacing growl*)

What all dwarves aspire to

It's Kcuhc McNorris!

Indeed.  He was one of the most badass dwarves I have ever seen, I would have made a nice story about him if his ending hadn't been so facepalm-worthy.
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5815 on: February 22, 2012, 04:46:03 am »

My hammerer has been sentenced to prison time for not making a mandated pick. But he only became 'grey' (as in smith) when I made him a hammerer. He was a jeweler, a bad one, before that. He can't make picks!
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Drago55577

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5816 on: February 22, 2012, 04:52:52 am »

My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths. :o
you don't say?

It's very hard not to sig that.

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« Last Edit: February 22, 2012, 04:54:25 am by drago55577 »
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Splint

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5817 on: February 22, 2012, 04:53:22 am »

My hammerer has been sentenced to prison time for not making a mandated pick. But he only became 'grey' (as in smith) when I made him a hammerer. He was a jeweler, a bad one, before that. He can't make picks!

So wait.... the guy in charge of dispensing justice got arrested.... da fuck?

FrisianDude

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5818 on: February 22, 2012, 05:04:28 am »

Yeah, I assigned my cmd as captain of the guard so he can arrest the 'miscreant' :P It's just twenty-something days.


Edit1; Aaand now the CMD/Captain is dead. Fuuck. Kicked in the head by a Draltha he tried to pit. He was the second to try to pit it, the first guy let it escape.
Edit2; the melee militia sent to kill the Draltha (Dorenfikuk, Diamondfield) isn't having much trouble with it but one of the Swordsdwarfs tumbled into the pit. He's alive, a bit broken, but alive. Now I have to open the floodgate to the pit and hope my (ex-cmd and) manager who is cmd again can set him right.
Edit3; a previously pitted capybara is munching on the swordsdwarf.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2012, 05:18:27 am by FrisianDude »
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Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5819 on: February 22, 2012, 11:19:08 am »

a waterfall is killing all my fun. It's killed several thieves and snatchers, a were beast and now a goblin ambush.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.
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