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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2095929 times)

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6195 on: April 24, 2012, 10:22:21 pm »

With this game as deadly as it already is, I don't think Toady should include anything else from Australia.
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Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6196 on: April 25, 2012, 03:22:09 am »

beware the giant kiwi
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Dorf3000

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6197 on: April 25, 2012, 04:43:30 am »

Embarked on a rocky wasteland/lake type area, did the initial digging, dry moat, etc etc.  Sometime around the first autumn, I notice a white 'O' moving on the surface.  My previous experiences with white 'O's have been Giant Olms, which can be dangerous to a beginning fort and don't appear on the surface anyway, so I had a look at the details..  It was an Ostrich Cock.

My first two thoughts were "This game has gotten a lot more, uh, detailed since the last version..." and "I don't remember embarking on an evil biome, how come it's been reanimated?"


It was a few moments later that my brain supplied the information that it might actually be the name for a male Ostrich..
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WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6198 on: April 25, 2012, 08:02:05 pm »

um...
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Rockphed

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6199 on: April 25, 2012, 11:15:19 pm »

It was a few moments later that my brain supplied the information that it might actually be the name for a male Ostrich..

Reproductive organs are not currently enacted in vanilla.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6200 on: April 25, 2012, 11:57:12 pm »

Also, Toady would likely not use the word "cock" if they were.
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Cheesoburgor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6201 on: April 26, 2012, 11:02:09 am »

i tried creating danger room first time with menacing spikes and i sent all my military dwarfs to train dodging later i got announcement that all of them died due being stabbed to death by the spikes. all of them were legendary skilled fighters  :'(
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Cheesoburgor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6202 on: April 26, 2012, 11:05:34 am »

when i realised that dwarfs dont like drinking water
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floundericiousWA

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6203 on: April 26, 2012, 12:28:45 pm »

Also, Toady would likely not use the word "cock" if they were.

A reanimated avian phallus would still be terrifying...and a perfect setup for late night comedian humor.

I'll say no more...I can already see all the wheels turning and hear the "hurk hurk hurk..." laughter...
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Goodguy3

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6204 on: April 26, 2012, 11:07:01 pm »

I'm sure it would raise a few dwarves Comedian levels.: D Also thanks for the sig.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2012, 11:09:20 pm by Goodguy3 »
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It was a few moments later that my brain supplied the information that it might actually be the name for a male Ostrich..

MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6205 on: April 27, 2012, 02:02:00 am »

What do you get when you cross stand up comedy with avian anatomy?

A chicken rubber.

(I prefer that the tomatoes be slightly soft, but not rotten. No hard fruits or vegetables, please.)
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Eoganachta

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6206 on: April 27, 2012, 02:56:00 am »

beware the giant kiwi
As a New Zealander I got a laugh out of this.
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Count Dorku

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6207 on: April 27, 2012, 03:31:59 pm »

Goblins attack, and I haven't prepped a military. That's not the dumb part.

Goblin leader, who is riding a giant toad, dies from a serious outbreak of The Stupids when his mount leaps into a pool and drowns him. That's not the dumb part, although it is the funniest.

Goblins mill around rather than moving towards my entrance. That's not the dumb part.

Ad-hoc military is killed to the last man, but manages to whittle down the goblins to just one macegrot. That's not the dumb part.

I dig out the wall of the murky pool the goblin drowned in to reclaim all that lovely goblinite and maybe train and send out a lasher. That's the dumb part. I forgot that murky pools have ramps around the edges, and as a result two consecutive attempts to build a squad to take on that damn goblin maceman ended prematurely when the idiots climbed out of the pool to loot the corpses of their fallen friends and got slaughterised, all before actually training with a weapon or checking my admittedly crap armour stockpiles.

Of course, during this siege I managed to accidentally delete the "home" burrow to which all my civilians were assigned, and as a result there were around fifteen idiots outside standing around and being stupid. Eventually I just formed them into a ragtag wrestler squad and flung them at the goblin, hoping to win through sheer weight of numbers; that...didn't work so hot.

Definitely training up a military earlier in my next fort.
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miguelsz2

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6208 on: April 27, 2012, 03:57:11 pm »

Hrmm.... Well heres how it goes. See my fishermen pretty much drove all the fish in my stagnant river into extinction. So then I go about and search the murky pools turns out only like one of them has some fish. I immediately go about and assign my fisherdwarfs to well... fish there.

Afterward an idea pops into my head... I think hey mabey we can repopulate the river if I build a channel to the river from said murky pool (my first fort so forgive the noobish-ness). So a bunch of dwarves go in and channel out the area. Problem is that some of them dig out from underneath others and well... Murdered Drowned them. So I end up with 3 dead dwarves. Ones a baby, another my chief medical dwarf, and lastly some other dude.

Problem is now at least 3 dwarves are tantruming becuase the loss of a "Freind" and being exposed to their rotting corpses. Two of which are pretty much spamming the announcements with entering a tanrum state and then 1 second later calming the f*** down.

At the end of the day:
All in all... The murky pool did NOT repopulate the the stagnant river. Also murky pool no longer has fish. Figures...
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daveralph1234

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6209 on: April 27, 2012, 06:25:34 pm »

I'm sure this has come up several times by now but,

Note to self: when playing Dwarf Fortress (adventure mode), do NOT go swimming in rivers during winter, they are prone to flash freezing -_-
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