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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2130883 times)

MaximumZero

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6945 on: August 26, 2012, 08:59:17 pm »

Realized today that I still don't understand pumpstacks.  :-[
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Darkgamma

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6946 on: August 27, 2012, 05:02:56 am »

Oh, then the wiki will help you.
Magma and underground water is one of the things ballistas cannot fix XP
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if it's a blob made of steel, don't fight it. it may not heal, but it probably doesn't need to.

misko27

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6947 on: August 27, 2012, 06:02:39 am »

Succession fort, Someone design for a tower of water pouring was incomplete, so I finished it for them. I also noticed that it didn't have enough power, and it would flood if started now. I fixed most of these errors, but before I finish, power comes back online, flooding a section of the fort.

Also, these guys look awful sad sitting there.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

somebody64

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6948 on: August 27, 2012, 01:24:33 pm »

I bet my fortress' security on a drowning trap that depended on a bridge connected to multiple pressure plates. The goblins came, they walked on the plates, nothing happened.
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Darkgamma

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6949 on: August 27, 2012, 01:41:34 pm »

You should've put ballista failsafes. And crossbowdwarves.
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if it's a blob made of steel, don't fight it. it may not heal, but it probably doesn't need to.

werty892

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6950 on: August 27, 2012, 02:54:37 pm »

-ignore-
« Last Edit: August 27, 2012, 02:58:32 pm by werty892 »
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doublestrafe

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6951 on: August 27, 2012, 04:41:57 pm »

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Isualin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6952 on: August 28, 2012, 06:46:46 am »

i had a sustainable good fort going on and i was building more stockpiles in mid levels. i accidentally destroyed some ladders. half of my dorfs died of thirst before i figured it out(when they started to hunt vermin for food)
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Darkgamma

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6953 on: August 28, 2012, 08:27:52 am »

Good God, I've embarked in a hot enviroment with no flux and a joyous wilderness, my civilisation is named "The Strapping Machine" and I'm surrounded by three goblin forts and two dark towers.

Edit: Wonderful! No liason from the mountainhomes, but a human siege of ~60 (elite, steel-clad) idiots. I'm guarded with one ballista. Oh weh.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 12:58:14 pm by Darkgamma »
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if it's a blob made of steel, don't fight it. it may not heal, but it probably doesn't need to.

Tsuchigumo550

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6954 on: August 28, 2012, 04:57:08 pm »

One thing you could do is lock your siege operators in with a roomful of mod beer that gives [NOFEAR] through a reaction, then destroy the beer (if you want only the siege ops to get nofear anyway) then just try to keep them in check. And now they can aim!
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Mr Space Cat

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6955 on: August 28, 2012, 05:52:29 pm »

I tried building an execution tower+pit with spike traps to kill off goblinite and orkinite. After connecting the traps and setting a lever to repeat pulling I set an orc prisoner to be tossed from the tower.

He lands and breaks off a horn. The masterwork wooden spikes miss him completely.  He promptly gets up and runs off.  So I set the traps to be deconstructed so I can dig the pit lower...

"Urist McLegendaryMason cancels Deconstruct Spike Traps: Impaled by Wood Spikes." I forgot to stop pulling the lever...
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vadia

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6956 on: August 28, 2012, 08:25:08 pm »

I was looking for minerals -- iron or copper for armor/weapons. 

I looked to see how the search was going and my heart skipped a fraction of a beat when I saw he had gone through one of the candy veins.

I think I missed a circus visit by 1 tile.
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Mr Frog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6957 on: August 28, 2012, 11:06:24 pm »

My fortress is built under an ocean, so I decided to build a mechanism that takes advantage of the ocean's hydrostatic pressure to flood my entire (very long) entrance hall in a single frame.

Another feature of my entrance hall is a box built into the ceiling with a pet on a rope overlooking the hall, used to watch for ambushers. Floor grates seperate the box from the hall itself, and the only way into the box is from deep within my fortress, so the pet is completely-safe from attackers.

Anyways, after getting all of the required floodgates, safety hatches and drain covers set up and linked, I opened the floodgate blocking the passage which was to conduct water from the ocean to my entrance hall and ordered a recent immigrant with no friends to carve a fortification into the side of the ocean basin. I didn't want to lose anyone important, you see.

As expected, there was a long stall as the my computer processed hundreds of units of water rushing from the ocean into my fort in a single frame.
    Immediately afterwards, several facts were brought to my attention:
  • Pressurised water can and will flow upwards through gaps in the floor.
  • Floor grates, to wit those seperating my observation post from the entrance hall below, do not stop this from happening.
  • I had neglected to install any doors or other physical obstructions into the tunnel running between said observation post and the rest of my fortress.
  • My entire fortress save for the farms and dining hall was now completely-full of seawater.

However, most of my fortress, including my miners, had been safely behind the dining room's doors when the deluge hit; I decided that savescumming was for the weak and that I would try to make the best of it.
    Then I realised that all of my food supplies, including seeds, were still in their stockpiles along with many gallons of pressurised seawater.
    Then I savescummed.
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Mr.Pylon

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6958 on: August 29, 2012, 03:19:56 am »

I began to train up recruits using the 'caged goblin in an arena' method for the first time today, and it worked wonderfully at first! For several seasons my raw recruits, my useless migrants, my band of dabblers all whacked away at goblins with their wooden weapons, only receiving the odd bruised muscle and in one case a nasty goblin thief turned wrestler who shattered one hapless dwarf's elbow in a grapple.

So just after the last caravan came into my fort a siege shows up! Their ogres are dispatched quickly by my marksdwarves from their tower, and the goblin spearmen fell one-by-one to cage traps and my crack melee troops. Elated at the siege breaking without taking a single injury I rushed to restock my arena, but I saved the siege leader, a spearmaster, for my dining hall so that all the dwarves of Intensemirrors could chortle at his failure.

Once it was all over with and the recruits were ready a happy herbalist pulled the switch and... Urist McClothier has been struck down. What? I check my recruits but they're nowhere near the just-released goblins, where did... oh no.

In my haste to set up the arena I had linked all of my caged goblins.
Including the spearmaster's.
I hadn't dumped his equipment.
My militia was waaaaay at the other end of the fortress.

The spearmaster killed six more dwarves until a combination of a knee-shattered glassmaker and a tame cave crocodile managed to suffocate him and then rip his arms off. In the end I hadn't lost anyone important, the majority of the dead were without families and a quick scan showed only a few dwarves feeling unhappy about the incident. So with a sigh of relief I unpaused and began scrolling back to my recruits when... Urist McWhichWayDoIHoldThisSword? has been struck down. The fuck?

The recruits were slowly tromping in a circle trying to rather ineptly catch up to the four fleeing goblins, because every single one of them had had both their feet broken by punches and kicks. To make matters worse whenever one of the recruits got within range he would flail uselessly and then get another bone broken by the back peddling goblins. The Urist had wandered too close and had passed out from broken bone pain before getting his head caved in by a single stomp. A minute later my markdwarves showed up just in time to save the remaining five out of the original ten recruits from the by now probably expert striker and wrestler goblins.

From now on all recruits go in swaddled in steel, and I won't put goblins in the dining room.
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Xob Ludosmbax

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6959 on: August 30, 2012, 01:43:49 am »

I haven't gotten a caravan in years due to being under constant siege.  Finally, I manage to clear out the hordes of undead and ambushers.  Only a few stragglers left which don't path to the fortress.  In the space of a few seconds, 4 large ambushes run into zombies and are unmasked, then the caravan & liason arrive between two of the squads, then a 50 strong zombie siege arrives. 
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