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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1542077 times)

sal880612m

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8535 on: May 20, 2014, 10:25:09 pm »

A real predator, that.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

.... .... .... .... .... I wonder what a mouse would do to it?
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jcochran

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8536 on: May 21, 2014, 11:22:56 am »

A real predator, that.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

.... .... .... .... .... I wonder what a mouse would do to it?
Well, just like the moth, it depends upon the size......
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Hetairos

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8537 on: May 24, 2014, 02:53:43 pm »

I wanted to empty a magma pocket by channeling a wall from above. A safe method, isn't it?

The miner did his job and walked away through the ramp he has just created. A moment later, magma flowed out. Only the pick survived.

Bwint

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8538 on: May 24, 2014, 04:19:25 pm »

On my very first fort, I had some trouble getting farming set up, and by the time the caravan showed up, I was almost out of food. I did, however, have plenty of rock crafts, which I marked for trading along with all of the caravan's food. Then I pressed... "
  • ffer goods to trader..."


There went all of my trade goods. We didn't last long after that.
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Cerol Lenslens

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8539 on: May 24, 2014, 10:31:25 pm »

Well.

That was sure a convoluted way of getting my fortress to die.

So, I'd reclaimed the fort with the frozen lake that unthawed immediately on embark, killing everybody. I dig in, do well for a year or so, and Bam! Goblin siege. I fend it off without much difficulty. The lake cut off most avenues of approach, and I had dug a channel across the land bridge to my fortress entrance, and put a drawbridge across it, made raiseable to help shield dwarves from, say, crossbow goblins. This was the fatal mistake, as, after a few enjoyable rounds of Goblin Catapulting, I ended up with a chasm full of mace goblins with nowhere to go. Then the next siege arrived a season later, and the Master showed up with his cavalry troops. I wanted to take him prisoner, so I tried to raise the drawbridge to cut him off from his troops until he hit my cage traps. However, for some reason my lever dwarf was more responsive than ever before and instead raised it before the Master even stepped on the bridge. So I lower the drawbridge, but he steps under it on his war jabberer, causing the bridge to break.

Now I can't get out. After the siegers get bored and leave, my dwarves refuse to rebuild the bridge, because of the moat full of injured mace goblins from two sieges ago. Meanwhile, merchants show up just as the siege ends and immediately get ambushed by more goblins! So now there's weapons all over the map, and I need them for my weapon trap lineup. But I can't reach them! I start a project involving a ballista to shoot those mace goblins, but my dwarves have learned to detect goblins from around corners, and can't be convinced to dig the fortifications I need to actually hit the bastards.

Then winter hits. Suddenly, my dwarves can reach all those goods the merchants and ambush goblins left lying around, and mass stampede out to them. I try to convince some to finish building a lake wall intended to prevent goblins from just charging across the frozen lake, but they'd rather do a little dance:

1) Cross half the map, climb the cliff to reach the weapon bin someone dropped.
2) See the mace goblins from across the screen.
3) Scream like a little girl and drop all their stuff.
4) Decide to reclaim their dropped stuff.
5) GOTO 2.

This keeps the entire fortress busy, except for the one dwarf who I'd forgotten was mooding and apparently couldn't find an item he wanted. He, appropriately enough, went berserk and killed the fortresses' entire supply of animals while the others were out, before succumbing to a torn out throat.

And then: The third siege in three seasons arrives! They do exactly what I was trying to build a wall to prevent, rampaging along the ice and clogging the preliminary traps with the corpses of their fallen. I'm desperately hoping for spring to arrive before the second and third waves arrive, but it is not to be. They proceed to massacre everyone in the fort, leaving me with three survivors. The goblins come rampaging out of the fort to hunt them down.

Then Spring hits. Hilariously, three quarters of the goblin army is now drowning!

Sadly, so are all three of my dwarves.

And those blasted macegoblins are still stuck in their stupid trench, having caused all this stupidity by just standing there and making faces at my dwarves and grinding all progress to a halt, and I imagine they're just laughing and laughing...
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Kumquat

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8540 on: May 25, 2014, 02:33:28 am »


So, I finally found enough water for my caged giant tame sperm whales I got from traders and pitted them into the cavern lake.

Alas, the call of the meeting hall was too much for them to resist. They soon beached themselves onto the very spot they were pitted from and drowned from lack of water.

Lessons learned:
1) Whales are stupid.
2) In DF, whales are fish and cannot breathe air.
3) Dworfs can't make biscuits from a drowned whale, you have to butcher it while it's still alive... if you can get it to a butcher's shop fast enough before it drowns.
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Linkxsc

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8541 on: May 25, 2014, 04:03:21 pm »

^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.
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BlackFlyme

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8542 on: May 25, 2014, 04:08:08 pm »

^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.

Those whales were tame though. Tamed pets can only be slaughtered while they are alive. They cannot be butchered while dead. Wild animals are the exact opposite, where they must be dead to be butchered, and even if caged they cannot be slaughtered alive.

But at least it's a funny - if dark - scenario. Them breathing water is necessary for them to avoid drowning in the ocean though.
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TheHossofMoss

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8543 on: May 25, 2014, 08:37:45 pm »

I was digging a pit of death to throw some goblins or zombies into. It was all underground, and about 10-15 z-levels high. It had a couple upright spear traps at the bottom, and as well as some good weapon traps fitted with two-handed swords and whips. At the top, it had a dining room with windows for my Expedition Leader and Manager to watch the poor souls that fell into the pit, whilst eating their Turkey Roast.

Well... the first fatality of it was not a goblin, nor was it a zombie. It was my best miner at the time, Erith Erithmeng. I thought i had everything correctly dug out in the right order, so that no rocks would fall on my miners below. I had all but one of those correctly laid out. JUST AS Erith finished his channel, causing an open space to appear, another miner from above channeled out a hole above him. The rock hit him on the head, and then he fell down into the pit, getting impaled on the spears.

I made an elaborate tomb for him. Maybe I should take out the trap that killed him, and put it next to his tomb?  :D

Only the best for the Dwarves of Bustedbrims!
« Last Edit: May 25, 2014, 08:41:44 pm by TheHossofMoss »
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On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my love saved the fort from...
Five sieging Werebeasts, four Giant Dingoes, three sneaky Thieves, two drunken Black bears, and a Titan killing spree!

doublestrafe

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8544 on: May 27, 2014, 01:07:13 am »

^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.

Those whales were tame though. Tamed pets can only be slaughtered while they are alive. They cannot be butchered while dead. Wild animals are the exact opposite, where they must be dead to be butchered, and even if caged they cannot be slaughtered alive.
You know, I remember finding a workaround to this, but for the life of me I can't remember whether it actually required reanimating them as zombies.
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JAFANZ

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8545 on: May 27, 2014, 09:14:02 am »

^ you can butcher already dead animals. Though in the case of whales its best to bring the butcher to the corpse than the corpse to the butcher.

Those whales were tame though. Tamed pets can only be slaughtered while they are alive. They cannot be butchered while dead. Wild animals are the exact opposite, where they must be dead to be butchered, and even if caged they cannot be slaughtered alive.
You know, I remember finding a workaround to this, but for the life of me I can't remember whether it actually required reanimating them as zombies.
Is this where the "Execution Tower of Gibbing" comes in? IIRC if drop the "tame" beastie far enough it explodes on impact you can butcher the pieces? (Note, it's been a while since I actually played, so I may be misremembering).
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Aslandus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8546 on: May 27, 2014, 04:56:24 pm »


Is this where the "Execution Tower of Gibbing" comes in? IIRC if drop the "tame" beastie far enough it explodes on impact you can butcher the pieces? (Note, it's been a while since I actually played, so I may be misremembering).
I tried a tower of gibbing, but it didn't work for me, they just dragged the dismembered corpse bits back to the corpse stockpile to rot

Tawa

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8547 on: May 28, 2014, 08:37:29 pm »

My fisherdwarf just drowned himself. There weren't any carp or anything around, he just straight up died.
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Cinder

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8548 on: May 29, 2014, 05:06:06 am »

My fisherdwarf just drowned himself. There weren't any carp or anything around, he just straight up died.
Goblin: General? We were told by the Dark lord to kill the dwarves, so why are we throwing socks in the pond instead of attacking them?
Goblin General: HehehehehehehehehahahHAHAHAHAHA
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Meneth

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8549 on: May 29, 2014, 06:56:26 am »

I just realized you could use Carve Track (d-T) to make Impulse Ramps. Previously I had always Built them, which took a lot more keypresses and stone blocks.
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