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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1414670 times)

TheHossofMoss

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8625 on: July 07, 2014, 12:10:46 am »

Hmm:
- A hunter becoming "attached" to his crossbow (considering a dwarf was in the hospital, it may have been attatched to a broken leg)

- Forgetting to set up a military before a siege.

- Having dwarves eat all the plump helmets so quickly that there was no way to make alcohol.

- A goblin breaking the bones of THREE dwarves with metal armor before dying.

- The "incredible" medical staff forgetting that injured dwarves drink and finding them dead from dehydration.

I know that feel. ;_;
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On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my love saved the fort from...
Five sieging Werebeasts, four Giant Dingoes, three sneaky Thieves, two drunken Black bears, and a Titan killing spree!

WalkerRiley

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8626 on: July 07, 2014, 01:02:10 am »

A weregopher, bronze colossus, and a UFB all attacked my site within minutes of each other.  My dwarves fought the good fight, and their families were drafted when they fell, until I had but 10 dwarves remaining and a severely dented colossus deciding if it wanted to burst through the only door between it and the rest.  It did.  And that human caravan?  Never stood a chance.


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imlovinit

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8627 on: July 07, 2014, 08:28:47 pm »

Toady misspelling the release date for the new version. But despite that he remains a god among men.
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I mean you can today reasonably expect a dwarf not to put themselves on the wrong side of a flood-gate, or run through fire. That's progress.

reality.auditor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8628 on: July 08, 2014, 05:00:08 am »

Toady misspelling the release date for the new version. But despite that he remains a god among men.
Copy&paste - bane of programmers everywhere.
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Are weapons like the least lethal thing in DF?

Romesaria

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8629 on: July 08, 2014, 03:23:49 pm »

I did this one yesterday afternoon.

I started a new fortress in a ruined world gen of mine.  I start by digging down a few z-levels and accidentally hitting a cavern.

In an interest to not deal with the cavern nasties just yet, I channeled out the stairs leading down and built a floor over it.

It was a set of up-down stairs, and I didn't realize what I had done until I killed on my miners on the embark.

I hope my next migrant wave has at least one miner in it, to rescue all the dead bodies... :o

P.S. my only carpenter just fell off a construction I was trying to build and offed himself.  I don't even.

And now, that fort has fallen.  It was looking up for a while, but a tantrum spiral started... some child went beserk, so one of my military dwarves offed him, that caused his mother to go beserk...

I pretty much abandoned the fortress once I was down to 1 Dwarf and 5 children.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2014, 05:02:58 pm by Romesaria »
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Shinotsa

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8630 on: July 09, 2014, 06:28:08 pm »

First goblin siege of the new version, my waterfall fortress was fully prepared. A force of eight untrained goblin kidnapees versus a force of five well-armed dwarves (three of which were well trained) who had the advantage of defending. My militia commander ran up to the invading hammerdorf and caved his skull in after dodging an attack. The goblin force was routed immediately, but continued to be slaughtered by the three well-trained militia dwarves. Without sustaining more than a minor injury (which was only worth mentioning because it exacerbated a training wound) the militia dwarves triumphantly marched back in to regroup with their rookie comrades and their loved ones and families... only to come back to an empty town.

It turns out that the townsfolk were so sure that the goblins would be triumphant that they threw themselves off the cliffs and into the churning waters below. The two rookies followed suit, perhaps when their comrade sustained the slight wound, or perhaps at the mere sight of the outnumbering force. Needless to say, Momuz is more than a little peeved that he has to take up civilian duties as a reward for his rousing defeat of the goblins, but those slabs won't carve themselves.
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MrsStick

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8631 on: July 10, 2014, 03:37:24 am »

I'm trying to finish out my fort in v.0.34 before I try the new game. I just replaced my dead broker with a new one whose right upper leg is missing. His lower leg is somehow still attached though...
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My hubby got me into DF...then abandoned his for MineCraft.
Husband has been possessed!
I'm sorry your husband had a strange mood and ended up making a useless trinket out of useless materials without gaining any experience in the process.

Zarathustra30

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8632 on: July 10, 2014, 03:11:27 pm »

Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.
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How did we pass from inns with merry songs and happy music to temples of doom and medieval torture with so much easiness and eagerness??

ArmokGoB

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8633 on: July 10, 2014, 06:03:22 pm »

Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.

The seasons are conspiring against you.
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PDF urist master

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8634 on: July 10, 2014, 09:22:24 pm »

Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.

The seasons are conspiring against you.

it was bound to happen.
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Bumber

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8635 on: July 11, 2014, 12:35:58 am »

Just about shat myself when huge clouds the color of blood started appearing all across my map. They were leaves falling in autumn.
Same happened to me, except with persimmons. It was terrifying. It was inevitable.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. Was this inevitable (Y/y)?

BFEL

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8636 on: July 11, 2014, 12:11:10 pm »

Forgot that slabs require engraving and spent hours wondering why the hell no one would slab the damn miner.
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Spehss _

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8637 on: July 11, 2014, 12:35:57 pm »

First goblin siege of the new version, my waterfall fortress was fully prepared. A force of eight untrained goblin kidnapees versus a force of five well-armed dwarves (three of which were well trained) who had the advantage of defending. My militia commander ran up to the invading hammerdorf and caved his skull in after dodging an attack. The goblin force was routed immediately, but continued to be slaughtered by the three well-trained militia dwarves. Without sustaining more than a minor injury (which was only worth mentioning because it exacerbated a training wound) the militia dwarves triumphantly marched back in to regroup with their rookie comrades and their loved ones and families... only to come back to an empty town.

It turns out that the townsfolk were so sure that the goblins would be triumphant that they threw themselves off the cliffs and into the churning waters below. The two rookies followed suit, perhaps when their comrade sustained the slight wound, or perhaps at the mere sight of the outnumbering force. Needless to say, Momuz is more than a little peeved that he has to take up civilian duties as a reward for his rousing defeat of the goblins, but those slabs won't carve themselves.

So the dwarves got so terrified they jumped off the cliffs? Amazing. This update is amazing.
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Rince Wind

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8638 on: July 11, 2014, 03:05:24 pm »

The wagon broke down on the top of the mountain. So I made a stockpile for everything at the base. Started doing stuff, including forging armor for the soon to be milita. Then it dawned on me, that "everything" includes refuse.
Now I have some XXbismuth bronze greavesXX. Basically 3 whole seta of armor wasted.
Oh well, the magmaforges are online and I will be melting the stuff.
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FaultyLogic

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #8639 on: July 11, 2014, 09:58:34 pm »

Started a new fort, with focus on quickly preparing for the inevitable. So I built a small wooden surface fort around the entrance to the real fort below. I kept some workshops and stockpiles in the yard, as well as a pasture while things got sorted out underneath.

In the first winter a band of goblins and humans attacked. I felt well prepared, I ordered the drawbridge to be raised and the marksdwarves to man the battlements. They did as they were told, very briefly, because as soon as they reached their position they climbed on top of the fortification and fell down over on the other side, quickly forming a neat pile of unconscious recruits in front of the
gate. Needless to say, the invaders were horrified and turned and ran.

Later in the following spring a were-ant eater arrived. We raised the drawbridge once more, only to realize we had left one poor soul outside who was fetching water from the river (our cistern was not yet finished). The were-beast quickly pounced upon him and tore him to pieces in an instant. Then it transformed into a friendly, female human who proceeded to climb our walls to hang from the outside of the battlements. Just hanging there until I finally ordered her to be shot, and she just dropped down and ran off.
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