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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1357257 times)

Sentient Bowtie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9780 on: April 21, 2016, 05:53:15 am »

Suicide is only a crime so we can legally prevent it.
...Wait, dwarves do this too, right?
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MobRules

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9781 on: April 21, 2016, 03:59:11 pm »

I was playing a reclaimed fortress. The game ran smoothly with 200 visible units, until suddenly fps dropped to 1 from 30.

I fixed it by exterminating all hungry heads using dfhack.

Then I checked their corpses and found some were near a door.
Then I remembered all pre-generated doors were set to pet impassable by default.

Yeah, the "One domesticated turkey trying repeatedly (and unsuccessfully) to path through a locked-to-pets-door, bringing the FPS down by an order of magnitude" bug drives me crazy. I've just stopped setting doors to be usable-by-dwarves-but-not-by-pets until such time as the bug is fixed. (But the pre-generated door would have caught me up as well; I wouldn't have thought to check it initially)
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King Kitteh

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9782 on: April 21, 2016, 11:46:26 pm »

Wait, can Dwarves blame eachother for another Dwarf's suicide? If so that's genius.

In other news my fort was destroyed by giant alligators before I could even designate a single tree to be cut.
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Saiko Kila

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9783 on: April 22, 2016, 02:36:33 am »

I retired a fortress for testing, to see if this helps with near-death FPS. Well, it didn't really, maybe because of all these fights between giants and cyclopses, or a fire started by a dragon wanting to help fight a forgotten beast...

But face palm moment was when I realised that my fort now belongs to a goblin civ. Or rather a "revived" dwarf civ, whose members are somehow also members of a goblin civ, which (practically) conquered said dwarf civ (which is different than the original dwarf civ my fort belonged to before). Even their names are goblin. For example the current queen is a dwarf who was an administrator of some hillock under the goblin civ. The hillock was conquered by the goblins 50 years before her birth. And now she is a puppet queen of the civ of her ancestors. I doubt she even speaks Dwarven. Still, my duchesses and other dwarves are apparently part of the original civ, at least according to the CIV ID. Just the land was stolen from under their feet.
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Urist McShire

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9784 on: April 25, 2016, 11:43:52 am »

Apparently I still don't understand the usage of ramps when it comes to mining, as I just had two dwarves die of dehydration when they wouldn't go back up the ramps they constructed to go further down.
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bigjaredmonkey

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9785 on: April 25, 2016, 08:57:11 pm »

I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Karnewarrior

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9786 on: April 27, 2016, 04:22:52 pm »

I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the wopdcutter got there.
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Splint

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9787 on: April 27, 2016, 04:31:43 pm »

I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the woodcutter got there.
Due to a modding error, I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder.

Dozeb˘m Lolumzalýs

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9788 on: April 27, 2016, 05:24:35 pm »

I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the woodcutter got there.

I don't think that was a siege in the traditional sense. Rather your dogs sieged him.
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SchmittLenin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9789 on: April 29, 2016, 05:47:34 pm »

I am currently being sieged by a large force that will no doubt kill all of my dwarves, consisting of...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I was once besiged by a single goblin who was stuck in a tree surrounded by war dogs.

It was funny.

Especially after the woodcutter got there.
Due to a modding error, I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder.

A vile warty force of darkness has arrived!
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Pvt. Pirate

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9790 on: May 03, 2016, 07:15:21 am »

Urist McMacedorf and Urist McSworddorf tried killing the Giant Bat, which flew over the water... they got hit during the fight and being unconscious, they drowned, reducing my militia to 2 dorfs - just before a FB showed up "beware its posionous sting" :(
that place is haunted, i shouldn't have reclaimed it.
hopefully some of the dorfs made it and got away from there alive.
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Kogan Onulsodel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9791 on: May 03, 2016, 08:58:15 am »

Had my old fort, which has been going for a few years IRL, and I went all out with the exploits (danger rooms, infinite adamantine through trading coins, the works) in this one. The FPS has gotten so low that it's time to bring it to an end. I have 110 dwarves in the militia, dressed in a full kit of masterwork candy armor. Naturally, time to breach hell and see how my army does. I have 3 artifact doors, so I actually have 3 different routes that I can funnel the demons into, I'm hoping I can get them to split up a little bit, maybe pincushion a few with my 50 marksdwarves if I'm worried that they might be exploding demons, maybe distract them with my giant war cheetah-splosion (that's the only breeding pair of giant animals I managed to get, not tigers, but still good). This is gonna be epic. So I send my miner to break through the last little bit to HFS, simply planning on an epic battle with the clown car, when somehow... somehow...

The clown car spawns under the wrong adamantine spire and just... dissipates. There's no sign of them, only 30 or so underworld.

An underwhelming end to an epic fort.  :(
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pikachu17

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9792 on: May 03, 2016, 10:40:15 am »

I retired a fortress for testing, to see if this helps with near-death FPS. Well, it didn't really, maybe because of all these fights between giants and cyclopses, or a fire started by a dragon wanting to help fight a forgotten beast...

But face palm moment was when I realised that my fort now belongs to a goblin civ. Or rather a "revived" dwarf civ, whose members are somehow also members of a goblin civ, which (practically) conquered said dwarf civ (which is different than the original dwarf civ my fort belonged to before). Even their names are goblin. For example the current queen is a dwarf who was an administrator of some hillock under the goblin civ. The hillock was conquered by the goblins 50 years before her birth. And now she is a puppet queen of the civ of her ancestors. I doubt she even speaks Dwarven. Still, my duchesses and other dwarves are apparently part of the original civ, at least according to the CIV ID. Just the land was stolen from under their feet.
the goblin-named dwarves are probably kidnapped from the original dwarven civ by goblins then they started multiplying.

ManaUser

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9793 on: May 12, 2016, 11:29:48 pm »

I just sent a squad of 10 master axedwarves up against a forgotten beast... armed with crossbows. The fight actually went better than you might think, only one of them died... arm ripped off. The rest kept it busy long enough to call in a much greener backup squad who at least had proper weapons. It was pretty well bitten and bashed into submission by that point and they quickly finished it off.

Now I just have to hope that "deadly spittle"... isn't. So far so good.
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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9794 on: May 15, 2016, 12:38:00 am »

Today a human necromancer waltzed right into my fort and started snooping around, so I sent a small squad of dwarves in to run him off real quick. After he left the area I noticed he reanimated a bit of giant hedgehog hair... I imagine it's just a pile of hair. I ordered the squad to attack the zombiefied giant hedgehog hair to no avail, the attacks just pass right through it and obviously it can't harm the dwarves, which makes the fight endless. I ordered everyone to into the burrows forcing the dwarves to stop their ,would be, endless battle with the bit of hair. When it left the walls of the fort I raised the bridges.

Later I noticed many of the dwarves had legendary status which seemed to have come about suddenly, so I looked at their skills... all legendary or grand master observers!!!

I thought it must have been from punching that bit of hair for weeks. 
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