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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1378893 times)

Naryar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10110 on: June 13, 2017, 04:49:41 pm »

So, I'm building an aboveground fort. With a water moat.

And two dwarves already drowned in it in the interval of maybe two days or so. They just "disappeared" for some reason, my genre savvy kicks in and says it's the moat and I look at it. Two corpses alright.

Really. That's a safe, non-savage, non-evil fort, the water has stopped moving since some time, there are nearly no fighting logs (a few animals snapping at each other at most) so no dodging in the water, they're not even close to the water slopes, and they're not perma-depressed due to moods. No carp either since a few months.

There is no reason to go drown in the water, even including dwarven stupidity (and I've got a few experiences with dwarves randomly "disappearing" next to magma moats, even then those are usually when fighting).

Why are you even doing this, you idiots ?

I'd just pretend this is Armok subtly telling me that he wants sacrifices.  :-\
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 04:52:36 pm by Naryar »
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Naryar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10111 on: June 17, 2017, 09:19:07 am »

My dwarves are still drowning due to stupid reasons.

Literally they get offended by capybaras, dogpile them, go into a stream/murky pool and fail to get out.

It was funny when a dwarf nicknamed Carp Bait did it. It wasn't funny when two more useful dwarves followed suit.

Seriously, what the hell. I don't have this many dwarves.

Going to make an automated swimming training system, it looks like.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2017, 09:22:20 am by Naryar »
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Detros

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10112 on: June 18, 2017, 06:49:52 am »

My dwarves are still drowning due to stupid reasons.

Literally they get offended by capybaras, dogpile them, go into a stream/murky pool and fail to get out.

It was funny when a dwarf nicknamed Carp Bait did it. It wasn't funny when two more useful dwarves followed suit.

Seriously, what the hell. I don't have this many dwarves.

Going to make an automated swimming training system, it looks like.
You already have an automated swimming training system, you just need to raise its efficiency. So that dwarves learn to swim before they manage to drown.
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Mathel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10113 on: June 18, 2017, 07:39:47 am »

It depends, whether the moat is fueled by a river, or not. If it is, this would be difficult.

Drain enough water, so that whole moat is just 4 to 6 layers deep. If the moat is connected to river, you will have to plug the channel first. (probably by pouring lava into it)
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Naryar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10114 on: June 19, 2017, 12:50:35 pm »

The moat is connected to the river, yes.

River's outside my fortifications and generally dwarves do not get too close to it. Generally.

Moat is 2 z-levels too.

I *would* set that river to less than 7/7 on all tiles, but it would require pumps, waterwheels, and a drawbridge water annihilator...

Hmm, I can probably do that without much fuss. Just a few drawbridges next to the river, destroying water, and probably a water triggered pressure plate triggering them. I can even make it so it doesn't kill dwarves/aquatic wildlife and (probably) not murder my FPS.

Or maybe I can just improve that automated swimming trainer.




Dycedarg

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10115 on: June 21, 2017, 01:11:15 am »

I just started playing again recently after a relatively long break, and I've encountered a fair few face palm moments getting used to things again. A sample:

Human caravan shows up, starts unloading their goods, everything's just fine, then suddenly a wagon that's still outside scuttles for some reason and all remaining traders run for their lives. I'm quite confused, but after scouring the map for what could possibly cause this, I turn up empty handed. I assume it's a random bug and decide to just give all my crap to the dwarven caravan. Autumn comes, they show up, start unloading, then the same thing happens. A wagon scuttles, they all flee. Now I'm highly annoyed as the only caravan I got that year was the elves and all they had was crap, and now I'm going to be stuck with two years worth of discarded clothing cluttering up my stockpiles. Not to mention the scuttled wagons were full of nothing but useless garbage. I start googling to see if I can find a solution. The closest I can find to my situation is a report of that happening when they encounter sentient body parts. Well, I tend to keep things pretty clean and I'm fairly certain I would have noticed if I had random bits of people cluttering my front lawn. I scour the place again and find nothing. Finally I decide to go through the body parts list in the stock menu to see if I can find anything, and lo and behold there are about a half dozen body parts... in the trees. Apparently that wereelephant who came along fairly early in my game and beat a bunch of my dwarves to death with a pig tail sock had also ripped off random limbs and chucked them into nearby trees without my knowing about it. I cut them down and got rid of the body parts and merchants have been fine since, including the time I had just finished a siege and the front entryway was literally riddled with bits of goblin. I guess they don't care about them as much.

Another time an ettin shows up, and since my marksdwarves are sorely in need of a live target for practice I resolve to trap it. Should be a fairly simple operation: Close all the bridges except the trap corridor, forbid the door that leads to it, wait for him to wander into a cage trap on his way to break the door. While, my first derp was forgetting to close the pen I keep my regular dogs in to prevent them from following the war dogs into battle and getting pasted. I close it after only a half dozen run out (at the ettin, of course. Stupid mutts.) Not too bad a loss, always more where they came from, I just have to wait until he's done murdering them and then he'll go into the trap as planned. But wait, now the falcons who have been stuck on top of the wind mill wall for the past year decide now is the perfect time to remember they have legendary climbing and use it to climb down and flee the ettin who can't climb and from whom they would have been perfectly safe had they just stayed put, so now he's murdering dogs and falcons. Ok, also eminently replaceable, it'll be fine. OH FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK WHO'S SHOOTING AT IT?! Oh, an off duty marksdwarf. On top of the windmill wall. Lovely.

When I built that windmill I had a stairwell next to the shaft for the axle to make mining it out easy, afterwards I destroyed the bottom of it so this sort of thing couldn't happen. He must have somehow spider climbed, or jumped, or something, to get from the floor of the mill chamber to the completely inaccessible stairwell, so he could climb up to the windmill, and climb to the top of the wall (which had no ramps), so he could take pot shots at the ettin, all because he somehow sensed the combat from 4 z levels away and got all vengeful about it. Well, fine at least he's safe up there oh wait he just climbed down from the wall and is now wailing on the ettin with his bone crossbow and complete lack of melee skills. Well, at this point the operations completely shot to heck so I summon the axe lords to take care of things maybe before he gets completely murdered. Of course when I open the door to let them out who runs out first but my 153 year old broker who's also gotten all vengeful and feels the need to join the crossbow moron in trying to cave its skulls in with his ☼Dog Bone Scepter☼.

Oddly enough, both of them escape without injuries. Apparently in the mortal combat with the half dozen untrained non-war dogs the ettin suffered so many bite wounds it was incapable of so much as landing a hit on either completely untrained dwarf in the minute or so he has before the axe lords finally show up. I'm pretty sure it was the lamest uninvited guest I've ever had; its kills consisted of three dogs and two peregrine falcon chicks. The amusing part of it for me was that after my axe lords relieved the ettin of most of its limbs (and one of its heads) who gets the kiling blow but my broker. With his scepter. I have absolutely no idea how that happened.

The most recent moment I had was after killing a forgotten beast, I was having my military do a bit of tidying up in the lowest cavern when a siege arrives at the least opportune moment. Well, I'll just summon them back. I've gotten all of them (or at least I assume so) safely upstairs with someone on his way to seal the entrance so I can focus on the siege when "You have struck microcline! You have struck horn silver!" Oh look, an axe lord climbed down a cliff into an area of the cavern I haven't explored yet and now is chasing crundles all over the place. Needless to say, he won't climb back up the cliff when he's done, so now I'm splitting my attention between doing fortress defense stuff and micromanaging him on his trek through the undiscovered area of the cavern that links the area where he is with the area where the door is. It's fairly painstaking as I have to issue a new station order every twenty or thirty tiles; telling him to go further would just result in his failing to path and just standing there. I somehow manage it without either letting cavern stuff into my fort or completely borking my siege defense, but it was still the most annoying thing to happen to me lately. I haven't had much luck in figuring out when and how the dwarves decide to climb except that they always seem to do so when it makes my life more difficult or complicated, and never when it would make things simpler.
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grenedle

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10116 on: June 28, 2017, 01:20:03 pm »

I'm coming back to DF after a while and I was never that experienced even before. I've generated a few worlds and in each one I've had terrible luck finding iron ore. While looking at the wiki page for advanced world generation (for unrelated reasons) I found the problem. I thought that setting Mineral Scarcity to a high number would make minerals more plentiful. I had it backwards; low numbers means more minerals. So I'd been making worlds with minerals set to between Rare and Very Rare this whole time.
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Thisfox

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10117 on: July 06, 2017, 12:29:10 am »

We managed to survive the attack of yet another forgotten beast in the upper cavern, and the humans came to trade. I got every trade good I could think of (a remarkable amount of bloodstained xglovesx, xshoesx and XXrobesXX) and looked for the broker, who had no job. Well good. Then I looked again.

No Job (Caged).....

*facedesk* It appears when the forgotten beast cage trap of doom was set off, a few dorfs were in the way of it, and two of those ended up in cage traps (the beast itself was killed by the one remaining speardorf).

New problem: I've put the cages in the main dining hall and am trying to release my caged dwarfs (male and female varieties). It turns out that just unassigning them to the cages isn't enough. I'm putting in a lever, and trying to work out what the hell I might do. It is amusing that they keep being fed and watered in there. There is a stack of buckets around their cages, and everyone keeps dropping off food. "Hi, Urist, you still in here huh? How's caged life treating you? You know you can leave at any time, right? Well, here's a mule spleen for you to eat while you sit in there. And here's a bucket of water..."

I'm trying to attach a lever to these things, to boot them out, but all my engineers are either dead or in a cage. It's a problem I've never had before.
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
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Rockphed

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10118 on: July 06, 2017, 12:41:53 am »

We managed to survive the attack of yet another forgotten beast in the upper cavern, and the humans came to trade. I got every trade good I could think of (a remarkable amount of bloodstained xglovesx, xshoesx and XXrobesXX) and looked for the broker, who had no job. Well good. Then I looked again.

No Job (Caged).....

*facedesk* It appears when the forgotten beast cage trap of doom was set off, a few dorfs were in the way of it, and two of those ended up in cage traps (the beast itself was killed by the one remaining speardorf).

New problem: I've put the cages in the main dining hall and am trying to release my caged dwarfs (male and female varieties). It turns out that just unassigning them to the cages isn't enough. I'm putting in a lever, and trying to work out what the hell I might do. It is amusing that they keep being fed and watered in there. There is a stack of buckets around their cages, and everyone keeps dropping off food. "Hi, Urist, you still in here huh? How's caged life treating you? You know you can leave at any time, right? Well, here's a mule spleen for you to eat while you sit in there. And here's a bucket of water..."

I'm trying to attach a lever to these things, to boot them out, but all my engineers are either dead or in a cage. It's a problem I've never had before.

I think you might be able to just set a pasture and assign the caged citizens to it.
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Derpy Dev

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10119 on: July 06, 2017, 09:11:06 am »

Found one of the animal caretakers on the roof of my 3 story tower. This raised several questions.
For one thing, you might think he climbed to the roof via a staircase, but I have a bridge gate on the roof that was closed.
Second, this was after the most recent merchant incident. Every time the merchants come, vultures follow them into my under trapped depot and scare everyone. This guys was probably startled by a vulture and started... climbing? THREE STORIES? Into an area with MORE VULTURES?

What the heck dude! Did you just want to go up there and scream at them? Why would you do that?

scourge728

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10120 on: July 06, 2017, 11:31:49 am »

Dwarves default response to a flying animal is to climb things, usually a tree, and then get stuck, they are like cats IRL, except they don't have the excuse of having claws that work great for climbing up, but no so great for climbing down, meaning the cat might really be ACTUALLY stuck

I just now learned you could highlight a word and then click the format buttons and it would be put inside the formatting tags

Derpy Dev

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10121 on: July 06, 2017, 11:52:27 am »

Dwarves default response to a flying animal is to climb things, usually a tree, and then get stuck, they are like cats IRL, except they don't have the excuse of having claws that work great for climbing up, but no so great for climbing down, meaning the cat might really be ACTUALLY stuck

I just now learned you could highlight a word and then click the format buttons and it would be put inside the formatting tags

I want you to imagine someone seeing a bird, saying "oh s**t a vulture" and climbing a three story building.

And only learning that bit about formatting is truly the greatest face palm moment of all.

scourge728

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10122 on: July 06, 2017, 02:37:27 pm »


I want you to imagine someone seeing a bird, saying "oh s**t a vulture" and climbing a three story building.

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Derpy Dev

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10123 on: July 06, 2017, 03:19:14 pm »


I want you to imagine someone seeing a bird, saying "oh s**t a vulture" and climbing a three story building.

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heehee thanks

Thisfox

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #10124 on: July 06, 2017, 04:13:57 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I think you might be able to just set a pasture and assign the caged citizens to it.

I thought so too, but it turns out that they don't turn up in the pasture menu.
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!
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