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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1356807 times)

NordicNooob

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10590 on: March 07, 2019, 09:08:38 pm »

Be me:
Make grand two dwarf military to be uber elite soldiers.
Armed fully in candy, badass and legendary.

Goblins! Send out the elites! Dine on their blood!
Aand they're slaughtered before they kill anything.
*facepalm*

Why? Cave adaptation apparently ruins all ability to fight. (several follow-up incidents in different forts agree that it wasn't something else)
*sigh*

BONUS:
That same siege is still marching towards my fort!
Close the gate!
Gate closes, locking the few dwarves that were draining the river outside. Their sacrifice will not be forgotten!

Wait, why are the goblins still pathing somewhere?
They're headed to the drained river? Huh, that's the part right under where my hospit-OH.
*goblin army climbs up through the well*
*facepalm*

Disaster is imminent. Fortunately, the fortress has a backup milita! Unfortunately, all eighteen are novice to competent warriors in semi-shitty gear.
*bloody battle for both sides, with about 1:1 casualties*
Well crap. About twenty goblins survive, and enter the fort!

BONUS, the second:
Well, maybe doberman bomb and peasants with axes can kill enough of them to make them retreat!
*bloody battle for both sides*
The siege is broken! All of my useless dwarves and soldiers and dogs are dead, but the siege is broken! Those last seven goblins will run away!
Oh. Without pump operators draining it, the river has refilled, sealing the well that the goblins entered through. Wait, lets just open the gate to let them out! Oh, right, goblins in front of the lever room.
The goblins are trapped in the fortress.
*facepalm*

*muster every last dwarf in the fortress to kill the stragglers*
*bloody battle x3 combo ensures*
*about a dozen dwarves are left*

Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.
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Structural integrity? What happened to punching gravity in the face? We're dwarves, damnit!

nimbus25

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10591 on: March 08, 2019, 11:32:04 pm »

I've been playing in this fort for a little over 8 years now, everything is relatively quiet. Not a single goblin invasion, but looking at the world one of the two nearby civs was at peace, and maybe the other one just didn't care for some reason? The fort is the only dwarven site left on the planet, maybe they didn't care enough. Start making a military just to be safe.

Then I start thinking about it, and realized I've never gotten a single forgotten beast either, despite having the caverns open for most of this fort's lifespan. Check the init files and sure enough, I had apparently shut off invaders for the last fort I played and completely forgot about it. At least now my fort's defended enough so that it shouldn't be (much of) a problem.
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Silverlock

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10592 on: March 09, 2019, 10:37:40 am »

Oh. Without pump operators draining it, the river has refilled, sealing the well that the goblins entered through. Wait, lets just open the gate to let them out! Oh, right, goblins in front of the lever room.
The goblins are trapped in the fortress.
*facepalm*

That was my favorite part.  The looks on the faces of both the goblins and the dwarves would have been priceless.
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MobRules

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10593 on: March 14, 2019, 12:25:39 pm »


Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.

Yup. After learning this the hard way (more than once), I nearly always make sure my tavern gets sunlight.
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Pvt. Pirate

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10594 on: March 14, 2019, 03:29:31 pm »


Lesson: Cave adaptation is dangerous.

Yup. After learning this the hard way (more than once), I nearly always make sure my tavern gets sunlight.
or the entryway takes several days to cross.
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Matrixar

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10595 on: March 16, 2019, 05:07:43 am »

When I cant figure out where to check what the dwarf with a strange mood wants... And then just by a chance u build a craftsdwarf workshop and the dwarf starts occupying it

just to go berserk and attack a kid and then get sloughtered

And now one of my dwarves is sleeping on a pile with around 40 dead cropses... After being incredibly horryfied about 40 times

Then one gave a birth to a baby, transformed into a werepig and killed it : /
« Last Edit: March 17, 2019, 05:23:23 pm by Matrixar »
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TubaDragoness

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10596 on: March 18, 2019, 08:10:10 pm »

Just in case you hadn't looked it up, workshops are determined by a dwarf's highest crafting-related skill. If they don't have a crafting skill, they take over a basic crafting workshop and make some sort of trinket.

Once in the workshop the building can be examined with Q to get a list of their demands when they're stuck. The countdown to insanity also apparently resets every time they successfully collect an item or claim a building, so it's possible to string a mooded dwarf along for a very long time when you lack an item they want.
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brotundbutter

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10597 on: March 20, 2019, 01:37:20 am »

Starting a new fortress. I set up a pasture zone out front for the water buffaloes that pulled the wagon, then moved on to my next task. After a while I notice that the water buffaloes are still inside my fortress in the placeholder meeting area, increasingly hungry. Huh? But I told you to— oh, I forgot to designate which animals go in this pasture. My mistake. Starve no more, buffaloes!
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Benjyhana

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10598 on: March 25, 2019, 06:21:00 pm »

Year 7 autosave and game keeps crashing, but refuse for DAYS of reloads to roll back cause I finally gots 30 marksdwarfs to equip/station/successfully get into minecarts for the 339 tile long powered roller coaster ride encircling the 500 gobbos coming up the 40z circuler ramp. There will never be better timing.
Finally in rage I say F you to whole DF game file.

Three days later I realize recycle bin hadn't been emptied since I got back into DF last month and had 120 gig of deleted embark gens, but no out of HD space notifications during crashs, which also meant there wasnt room for DF game file when I raged it.

Urist forgot to dump the hard drive stockpile.
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Superdorf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10599 on: March 25, 2019, 07:19:56 pm »

Ouch.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10600 on: March 29, 2019, 08:56:47 pm »

I realized that my dwarves weren't harvesting, so I thought there was something wrong with them that I needed to vent about in Note to Urist. Then I checked my standing orders.

Oops.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2019, 09:10:57 pm by methylatedspirit »
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Magistrum

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10601 on: March 29, 2019, 10:01:35 pm »

I needed to vent about in Note to Urist. Then I checked my standing orders.

Note to Overseer...
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Shockwave07

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10602 on: April 18, 2019, 03:27:29 pm »

I recently had a Dwarf settlement started with one pickaxe and while attempting to channel off of a stream managed to get this Dwarf killed... Barely started so onto attempt 12 to get my dwarves self sustaining.
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Schmaven

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10603 on: May 04, 2019, 07:42:45 am »

Just read about crops after playing for years and realized only 1 of the underground 6 is edible with no processing required...

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Crop

It did inspire me to get into the textile / paper industries more though.

So a goblin siege arrives, I retract a bridge to force them to swim around - delaying them while my surface dwarves get inside.  While they go inside I'll just work on digging out the lower rooms of the fort some more to make more underground farms. 

Some time later in the notification window:
Urist cancels construct bag, interrupted by a goblin hammerman.

Oops, I never did go back up and order that lever pulled once the dwarves got inside.  Now 40+ goblins are in the main stairway.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2019, 11:49:18 am by Schmaven »
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10604 on: May 20, 2019, 12:27:24 pm »

It took a long time for me to figure out that a squad cannot train without a barracks. Good thing no sieges happened.
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