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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2095604 times)

ulf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10635 on: September 02, 2019, 03:06:51 am »

Todays face palm: Realizing that you forgot to link the bridge blocking the cavern access up to a lever before using said access as a dump for water from an aquifier..
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nezclaw

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10636 on: September 03, 2019, 11:40:23 am »

I accidentally designated my GCS to be trained.
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10637 on: September 03, 2019, 11:42:25 am »

I accidentally designated my GCS to be trained.
What’s wrong with training them?
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Superdorf

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10638 on: September 03, 2019, 11:57:08 am »

They won't spit webs at most things once they've been trained. Makes it way harder to set up an unending fount of weavable spider-silk.
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Falling angel met the rising ape, and the sound it made was

klonk
tormenting the player is important
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nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10639 on: September 04, 2019, 03:07:55 am »

That's what you use a chained goblin for
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.

nekoexmachina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10640 on: September 04, 2019, 06:15:29 pm »

So for whatever reason, I got 4 barons appointed.

All 4 are my steel-bearing war-forged swordmasters of legends.

Which is not only the backbone of my military, which is de facto the only military i got.

GOod thing is they can be commanded as military unit of barons. Bad thing, they lose their rooms every time I send them offsite.

Bad thing, 4x mandates every now and then. :S
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Whenever i read the "doesn't care about anything anymore" line, i instantly imagine a dwarf, sitting alone on a swing set. Just slowly rocking back and forth, somberly staring at the ground, and stopping every once in a while to sigh.
It's mildly depressing.

nezclaw

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10641 on: September 04, 2019, 08:01:41 pm »

That's what you use a chained goblin for
first i need a captured goblin.
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Mathel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10642 on: September 14, 2019, 10:47:46 am »

I started genning a custom medium world, only customization was removal of bogeymen. I forgot to shorten history from the 1050 years to something more manageable.

That was 3 hours ago. 15 minutes ago, in the year 780, I decided that it is taking too long and decided to stop it.
6 minutes ago, year 804, it finaly responded and let me select (u)se world as is.
During the writing of the last line, it finaly finished.
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The shield beats the sword.
Urge to drink milk while eating steak wrapped with bacon rising...
Outer planes are not subject to any laws of physics that would prevent them from doing their job.
Better than the heavenly host eating your soul.

nezclaw

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10643 on: September 14, 2019, 11:44:46 am »

I started genning a custom medium world, only customization was removal of bogeymen. I forgot to shorten history from the 1050 years to something more manageable.

That was 3 hours ago. 15 minutes ago, in the year 780, I decided that it is taking too long and decided to stop it.
6 minutes ago, year 804, it finaly responded and let me select (u)se world as is.
During the writing of the last line, it finaly finished.

Oh wow. I usually don't let it get past 125 when genning.
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Bydth

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10644 on: September 14, 2019, 08:46:24 pm »

 Just starting out a new fort, looking around, getting the lay of the land, when I realize the fort has a metamorphic uppermost layer. “No” I say to myself. “Not another bloody no-sedimentary fort.” So I add [ore_iron] to diorite. The dorfs have finished digging, time for the first stockpile. Armor: yes, bars: yes, food: yes, weapons: yes. Refuse? Flashes back to previous fort. yes.
  Got iron smelting from diorite, making a set of iron armor. Some time later: Looks in stocks and sees X(-iron chestplate-)X. “Oh no! - somebody’s getting mauled!
Checks unit list. Nothing out of the ordinary, orders up second iron suit just to be safe. Checks back later: more rotten armor. “Well, this armor is useless now, I can’t even melt it, smelting ore is more efficient! I  could put down a refuse stockpile outside, or I can save everyone’s time and enable Refuse on the main stockpile.”

“Enable Refuse on main stockpile...” Checks settings.

Gnaws Keyboard
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Take a look at:
 Accursed Farms, For old/weird/old&weird games and half-life machinima.
Broville v11: For being the most detailed Minecraft city ever.
Zero punctuation: For the roasting of one video game a week, with vulgarity, profanity, and hilarity.
Dwarf fortress: For- oh, oh, nevermind.

asialsky

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10645 on: September 18, 2019, 05:39:00 am »

In another hilarious blunder, I discovered that my airships have nothing holding them together.
I wanted to make a flying metal wagon, and even made a syndrome to turn non-dwarves into it. The problem occurs exactly 1 frame after they transform.
Frame 1: Yay, airship successfully modded in! It's alive!
Frame 2: *List of "Airship metals"*

I guess I need to recheck the colossus/wagon raws and figure out what missing tag causes instant death.
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Off defending the fortress from dragons with a tank, I'm sure.
"All I want is for you to be happy. You won't be happy until I'm happy, so hurry up and shoot the zombies!"

LordPorkins

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10646 on: September 18, 2019, 09:01:03 am »

That does conjure up a very amusing mental image of an insane dwarf engineer constantly trying to perfect his design only for it to explode every time he completes it.

He is known a “Tor SingedBeard.”
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Ïlul Thuveg-Ellest
Rete Sano-Pima
Tormuk Dul-Orax
Kar Pum-Sisha

TheFlame52

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10647 on: September 19, 2019, 03:42:50 pm »

In another hilarious blunder, I discovered that my airships have nothing holding them together.
I wanted to make a flying metal wagon, and even made a syndrome to turn non-dwarves into it. The problem occurs exactly 1 frame after they transform.
Frame 1: Yay, airship successfully modded in! It's alive!
Frame 2: *List of "Airship metals"*

I guess I need to recheck the colossus/wagon raws and figure out what missing tag causes instant death.
Your gaseous tissues could be changing states. Try looking at fire men and iron men.

Bomrek_BucketMonger

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10648 on: October 07, 2019, 01:35:18 am »

I once embarked on a glacier biome. When I was irrigateing the room i was going to have my farm in a huge wall of water instantly flooded my fortress and drowned all my dorfs. That is how I learned about water pressure.
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IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10649 on: October 07, 2019, 04:40:43 pm »

That'll ruin your fort, all right.
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