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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 1579449 times)

muldrake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10695 on: February 24, 2020, 02:00:52 pm »

Yeah, I didn't even read the combat logs correctly. The mayor was never bit and never transformed, it was an entire other pair of dorfs who, well, I'm gonna be honest, they tore the whole fortress apart. They were, somehow, so much stronger than the wereelk that sired them. Sam and Dean Winchester could not have killed this pair of wereelk farmers. RIP Bonevault.

Hooved weres are absolutely brutal.  In my current fort, a werezebra appeared.  I thought how tough could one of these be and delayed closing the gate to let a couple dwarves get in.  In the few ticks in between pulling the lever and the gate closing the thing got in.  25/26 dwarves dead in seconds.  Wtf man?

Luckily a mopey dwarf who later lost his mind survived long enough for migrants to show up.  The migrants immediately got killed by a magma man, something I'd never seen in years of playing the game.  The wiki says they're "exceptionally rare" so this ordinarily might have been fun.  Again, the lunatic was left alive.  In an amusing moment, after killing my fort for the second time in a year, the magma man went and picked a fight with a wild yak bull.  The bull one shotted its head clean off.

Now, a couple years later, with the population of my fort just barely recovered and the dead bodies from last time not even fully interred, another werezebra showed up.  Luckily I accidentally timed the lever pulling just perfectly, and because I had the trade depot in an airlock, with one gate to the outside and one gate between the depot and the fort, I trapped the beast in the depot.  I guess I have siege insurance now.
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Deus Machina

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10696 on: February 25, 2020, 11:55:25 am »

I haven't dealt with aquifers for years. Like the thought of the 'light aquifers'.
Didn't realize they also spread water down.
So now I'm force to relocate my initial workshops and temporary dorms.
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UUU

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10697 on: February 26, 2020, 03:47:25 am »

Told my dwarfs to open up my fort after a siege had been pulverised by my Kruggsmash inspired minecart traps. As a steady stream of dwarfs dutifully marched around collecting all the goblinite I realized the job on the front door lever had been set to repeat; half a dozen haulers had already been pancaked and a couple more thrown violently around the hallway.

Before that there were the dwarfs who got stuck on the wrong side of that same bridge at the start of the siege and had no choice but to christen the trap corridor themselves (no survivors), before that there were the accidents in my river diversion program (3 drowned miners and a baby), and then before all of this I had my entire military of 5 dwarves (only competent/skilled but fully armed and armored) get wiped out by some kind of undead axe wielding "Crypt hunter" who came to steal an artifact.

Its a good time to be in the slab and coffin business
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delphonso

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10698 on: March 03, 2020, 04:42:33 am »

I've played DF for years.

I just spent an entire year with my main food stockpile set to armor instead of food. I spent most of the first year mitigating miasma that I couldn't figure out...

Xcalibwr

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10699 on: March 07, 2020, 02:56:16 pm »

Every time I begin an embark I set the work orders after I disable hauling on the miners.

I set it so fast that I also pressed 'f' so the farmers would ignore food. It went on like that for a few seasons. I was frustrated and gave myself a laugh when I figured out.

Can I get an "F" for my lost pig tail crops?
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muldrake

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10700 on: March 07, 2020, 07:26:02 pm »

Any time I build a bridge and don't find out I left it retracting until after I have connected it to a lever.
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Imic

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10701 on: March 16, 2020, 05:32:08 am »

Forgot to prospect the metals when embarking on a new fort. No iron. Ha ha ha balls to that. Then I posted it in the wring thread.
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Schmaven

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10702 on: March 21, 2020, 06:46:00 am »

I quickly read a unit name as "Master of Fish" rather than what it really was: "Monster of Ash".  I kept wondering what a Master of Fish does - is he some sort of super fisher dwarf?  Does he use a fishing pole?  Or is he some sort of leader of the fish who can control them?
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darkhog

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10703 on: March 21, 2020, 04:26:02 pm »

Now I want Toady to add Master of Fish to clear this up.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10704 on: March 21, 2020, 08:08:49 pm »

Master of Fish is a fish larger than every other fish in the game, and has telekinetic powers, as well as being able to turn any land it touches into water
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BodyGripper

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10705 on: March 24, 2020, 11:48:21 pm »

I had a ~5x5x3 hole dug right next to a big wall. The zombies came and I sent my army to go fight them.  Instead of going around the hole, two of them decided to hang from the wall and cross the hole.
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basedbeans

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10706 on: March 29, 2020, 07:22:16 pm »

Several members of my intelligent undead military weren't equipping gauntlets and/or shields, despite having surplus masterwork steel to choose from. It was only when playing around with Therapist filter scripts that I noticed an overlap between dwarves not equipping single gauntlets and those missing limbs...
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ColdDane

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10707 on: April 03, 2020, 12:50:09 am »

Just started playing DF and are now in my first relatively successful fort, after my previous attempt quickly was lost due to a weremarmot.

Got my 1st mood, so my 1st artifact. Hurray! What do I get? a glove. Not a set of gloves, but a left glove. 2nd artifact is a silver scepter, that I can live with! Third artifact; another glove. I check description; itís another left glove!. My dwarves are morons! I guess I have to wait a few eternities for the RNG to create 2 x artifact right right gloves.

(Already love DF)
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HMD Majesty

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10708 on: April 10, 2020, 01:31:55 am »

We are constructing a Goblinite Processing Unit, and just ran a test of the Bridges used for separating the Goblinite from its Matrix.  One pair rose towards the Centre as We desired.

The other Set retracted.

We are going to be making some Adjustments.
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Wastedlabor

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Re: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress
« Reply #10709 on: April 21, 2020, 01:18:17 pm »

My prison is designated as a no specific deity prayer zone so prisoners can spend some time reflecting about their crimes. It's a very nice prison, with beds, tables, a barrel of food in each cell, and even a grate with access to water.

Normally it stays empty, but every now and then a tantruming dwarf ends there after punching someone, like Thickut the Potash Maker. While trying to figure out what could we do about his unhappiness, we noticed he was somewhat embarrassed about drinking water through the floor grate. Figured it was about time to upgrade all cells with their own well.

Now, from time to time good citizens also walk in to pray along the prisoners. This was the case of one of the fort's many diagnosers. In fact, he was so enraptured, he didn't even notice a worker removing the grate under his knees.

Unnecessary to say, the poor dunked pious dwarf had little familiarity with deep water.
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He stole an onion. Off with his head.
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