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Author Topic: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?  (Read 9909 times)

blue emu

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Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« on: April 26, 2009, 12:20:59 pm »

I've hollowed out a room under my Trade Depot, and I've been stacking up blocks of Pitchblende and Graphite in alternating rows... but it doesn't seem to be doing very much.

I have a few questions for the experts:

1) Why isn't my Heap working? Am I doing it wrong?

2) My Mason and some of the Haulers seem to be mutating a bit. Should I be worried? Should my Dwarves be worried?

3) As mentioned above, some of my Dwarves seem to be mutating. How do I build a radiation detector? Or is THAT my radiation detector?

4) How do I get my Wrestlers to grow tentacles? That would be awesome. If I could get the Heap working, I could just feed them radioactive waste. How do I make them eat it? Should I have left a 3x3 space in the middle for a Kitchen?

5) Should I apply more Magma? Would that actually help? If not, should I do it anyway?

Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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Never pet a burning dog.

Vilien

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2009, 12:31:25 pm »

Your dwarves should not be mutating. If they are, apply retractable spikes liberally.

Yes, you should always apply more magma.
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Aethios

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2009, 12:38:45 pm »

Is this some kind of mod? I want Wrestlers with tentacles. =(
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Puck

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2009, 01:05:21 pm »

Quote
I've been stacking up blocks of Pitchblende and Graphite in alternating rows...
;D

Byakugan01

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2009, 01:49:31 pm »

Finely detailed engravings please, or it didn't happen. Anyway, try putting the pitchblende in a goblin blender designed to sort by weight. Take the stuff at the bottom-it'll be much heavier-and then put it with the graphite. But then, why bother with the graphite? That's a safety feature used in reactors. Why the hell does the dwarven nuke have ANY safety devices at all?!? Who cares if it melts the room itself or gives SoF radiation poisoning? It'll be safe to mine by dwarven standards in a year or two anyway.
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

Untelligent

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2009, 01:55:39 pm »

Yer problem here is that the Uranium present in Pitchblende doesn't have enough of the U-235 isotope in its natural state to be feasible for this sort of thing.

Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.
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The World Without Knifebear A much safer world indeed.
regardless, the slime shooter will be completed, come hell or high water, which are both entirely plausible setbacks at this point.

RedWarrior0

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2009, 05:14:46 pm »

You are lacking a way to drop the bomb on an elven forest retreat, much less detonate it.

Byakugan01

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2009, 05:41:03 pm »

Dude, this is a DWARVEN nuke. You don't detonate it over an elf forest; you detonate it in the heart of your fortress, right next to where the nursery is. That's the only way for tantrum spirals "fun" to ensue.
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

salttotart

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2009, 06:55:49 pm »

Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.
And that sir is getting sigged.
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If this all doesn't fix it, your dwarfs are lazy. Apply magma.
"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

blue emu

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2009, 06:57:36 pm »

You are lacking a way to drop the bomb on an elven forest retreat...
I caught a Giant Eagle in a cage trap... will that help?
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RAM

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2009, 07:34:34 pm »

You need a breeding pair, then you periodically irradiate a flock and then send them chasing a migratory flock heading to elven lands. It lacks the pleasant mushroom cloud effect, but it should stop the elven horde from overwhelming everyone...
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Vote (1) for the Urist scale!
I shall be eternally happy. I shall be able to construct elf hunting giant mecha. Which can pour magma.
Urist has been forced to use a friend as fertilizer lately.
Read the First Post!

Awayfarer

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2009, 08:20:32 pm »

You're about four weeks too late for April Fool's Day.
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--There: Indicates location or state of being.
"The ale barrel is over there. There is a dwarf in it."
--Their: Indicates possession.
"Their beer has a dwarf in it. It must taste terrible.
--They're: A contraction of the words "they are".
"They're going to pull the dwarf out of the barrel."

sunshaker

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2009, 09:34:09 pm »

You need to refine that pitchblend it isn't concentrated enough (bonus points for boiling U-235), also heavy water may help.
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Jim Groovester

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2009, 09:47:20 pm »

You need to pour neutron lizard extract over your pile of graphite and pitchblende. That will get it to start working. Too bad the traders will only take minor bruises and burns from the pile.

It's better to submerse all of it in water, which will cause steam. All you need to do is pressurize this steam back into water and route it through a bunch of waterwheels for more power than you could possibly know what to do with.
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You know, it's fucking uncanny how many times people scream that Jim is out to get them and has rallied the town to destroy them, like he's the head of some damn conspiracy theory or something.  I've learned to recognize this as something I call "The Jimbot Fallacy".

Byakugan01

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Re: Dwarfhatten Megaproject : What am I doing wrong?
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2009, 10:48:40 pm »

You need to pour neutron lizard extract over your pile of graphite and pitchblende. That will get it to start working. Too bad the traders will only take minor bruises and burns from the pile.

It's better to submerse all of it in water, which will cause steam. All you need to do is pressurize this steam back into water and route it through a bunch of waterwheels for more power than you could possibly know what to do with.
Three Words: Dwarven Death Ray
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.
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