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Author Topic: I just got my bike stolen...  (Read 8005 times)

Jackrabbit

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #15 on: May 10, 2009, 07:40:42 am »

I think stealing someone's bike is akin to stealing someone's pet. There's no such thing as a bike fence and at most, the thief will only get maybe $50 for his loot. Most of the time, they don't even use the bike themselves as most experienced bike thieves are well... experienced in the art. His gain from the effort involved in stealing is miniscule compared to the loss of the other party.

I'm going to get a cheap $50 bike probably on Monday with a U-lock. I won't keep it in the house though, since I know some thief is willing to break into a place just to steal a bike. Might put it under the front stairs and cover it with a tarp or something.

So they do it for the thrill? I can understand that.

Make the thief deterrents infinitely more painful 
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Cthulhu

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #16 on: May 10, 2009, 09:03:32 am »

Alright, here's what you do.  Build a building about the size of a chicken coop.  Put a big sign on the door that says "BIKE GARAGE".

Now this is the part where it gets expensive.  Here's your shopping list.

Tin Can
Fishing line
Strike-anywhere matches
Ball-bearings, nails, or other sharp objects.
Enough Tannerite to fill a quarter or so of a tin can(I think you know where I'm going with this)
Soldering beads and iron
Tape
Cardboard

Remove the lid of the tin can.  Cut the cardboard into a circle so it fits snugly inside the can.  Pour the Tannerite into the can.  Stick the match ignition-side-down into the Tannerite.  Cut a hole in the cardboard for the match.  Use the cardboard to pack the Tannerite down into the bottom of the can.  Tie the fishing line to the match.  Pour the bearings into the can.  Run the fishing line out of the can and solder the lid back on.  Tie the can to the inner doorframe of the bike garage, and tape the other end of the fishing line to the other side of the door.  When the thief goes in, it will pull the match out of the tannerite, lighting it.  That will detonate the device.  The person will be taught a valuable lesson he will not be able to use, because he will be dead.

Disclaimer:  Don't do this.  This is a terrible idea.  I've never tested it, so it probably won't work anyway.  Go with the car battery thing.
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Shoes...

Angellus

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2009, 09:09:07 am »

Make the seat out of C4 with a remote detonator, paint it black an he'll never notice! (untill you pull the lever off course  ;))
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ToonyMan

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2009, 09:14:51 am »

The bikes I use I find on my front lawn, they all of the words, "You suck."  on them.
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Darkone

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2009, 09:17:07 am »

Snares. So you can catch him. Then the always useful duct tape and car battery.
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Dwarmin

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #20 on: May 10, 2009, 09:22:58 am »

What goes around comes around. I can see him crashing the bike as he drives it to his fence and sending him headfirst into a wood chipper.  ;)
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Heron TSG

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #21 on: May 10, 2009, 10:31:18 am »

Get a Tesla coil, and form an electrostatic bubble field with it. Stick your bike inside it, and ramp it up to 500,000 volts.

That'll show them bastard the true might of crackly noises and purple force fields!
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Duke 2.0

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #22 on: May 10, 2009, 10:48:13 am »

 Rig a system that allows you to disable the brakes easily. Whenever not in use, disable and lock the brakes. Hopefully they will try to ride the thing away.
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SHAD0Wdump

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #23 on: May 10, 2009, 10:52:11 am »

*picks up bike and walks off to disable the mechanism in his garage*

Spoiler: disclaimer (click to show/hide)
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Mulch Diggums

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2009, 01:26:31 pm »

When I read this topic I was expecting a whole bunch of "Nigga stole my bike!" jokes. Im proud of you b12, proud.

But as for me, I've never had my bike stolen. I keep it in my backyard and its fine. I dont exactly live in a major urban center though, that may be why.
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olemars

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #25 on: May 10, 2009, 01:47:12 pm »

One of my friends had his bike stole once. Thankfully it was insured so he got his money back. When he bought his next bike he bught the biggest chain the store had as well. It worked, partially. Instead of stealing the bike, the thieves stole the rear tire, seat, pedals and whatever else wasn't secured by the chain. All that remained was the frame and the front tire.
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ToonyMan

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #26 on: May 10, 2009, 01:59:16 pm »

I would say lol, but then I would be a retard.  Haha.  Wow, your friend should have learned the first time. 
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Heron TSG

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #27 on: May 10, 2009, 02:03:09 pm »

Just buy more than one chain, three gallons of gasoline, and a match.
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Aqizzar

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #28 on: May 10, 2009, 02:21:51 pm »

I have similar such chain story.  I had a cousin who kept his bike secured with a hunk of chain stronger than the bike itself.  Then one day, he found the chain tied up with no bike, and a bunch of metal filings on the ground.  Apparently, the thieves had just sawn through the frame.
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SirHoneyBadger

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Re: I just got my bike stolen...
« Reply #29 on: May 11, 2009, 02:01:01 am »

As much as I completely understand the desire to kill anyone who breaks into your property/steals your things, legally it's just not worth doing over just a bike. Not unless you're the home owner, and you can convince a jury that it was done in self-defense, which still can carry legal risks.

You're basically risking ruining *your* life over 200$.

That includes setting up booby-traps and other potentially dangerous/deadly deterrants on a property. They're just not legal under normal circumstances.

Killing another human being (even a dirty bike-thief) also comes with an emotional cost that again probably isn't really worth paying over "just" a bike.

That doesn't mean that someone who will steal a bike won't set your house on fire, etc. so protecting/securing your home is always a priority--and as far as I'm concerned, I *am* a home-owner, with a wife to protect. At that point, it's no longer "just" anything.


Getting a dog (or two) is a good means of property defense, in my opinion. Even if it's not a very imposing dog, as long as you can train it enough, and trust it enough, to give it the run of your home when you're not there, a small dog is still a LOUD dog, with keen senses, a strong sense of territory, and a lot of time on it's hands.

Anything that makes it more difficult to break into the room itself (I assume a garage) where the bike is kept is a good thing. If you can make it more noticeable (more lights, more noise), that's even better.

Motion-detecting lights, locks that can't be cut, and window alarms can all be had nowadays for reasonable prices. For the bike itself, more than one chain would be a good idea. With enough chains, there's little point in cutting up a frame, because putting it back together will be more trouble than stealing it in the first place.

If it were me, I'd also attach bells to the chains, put bells inside of the spokes (cat toys should work great, and are really cheap), and maybe get some of those cheap Bell and Howell alarms, and attach several of those to the bike in such a way that they'd have to be set off in order to move the bike. Make moving the bike difficult, even after the chain has been cut.

Wire can be good too, if you wrap enough of it around enough "problem" areas, because it'll all need to be cut in order to take the bike.

Putting your name, address, and phone number onto the frame itself, several times, is another way of making the bike more trouble than it's worth. That can be done simply and effectively, by just etching it into the metal of the frame, or it can be done in various other ways that don't actually damage the frame.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2009, 02:04:08 am by SirHoneyBadger »
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