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[Rumrusher]

Spoiler:  chapter 1 honey I flung our kid (click to show/hide)

well then uhh hmm
okay so this started as a test for multi-race breeding ... also kinda want to see what happens in 40.xx

the result is a healthy SWOLE baby girl


then I launched her out of a Batista. so far so good she's fine


then I decided to try again then resulted in no baby.
so I lost the baby...
only in a small bout of luck I place an adventure tracking beacon on her so I can pinpoint where she wound up, deciding to look into her family tree I notice something odd.

yup my dwarf became a DAD-Uncle to an halfbreed who's twice as rip as her Dad(Uncle)

crud looks like the baby is miles away from Fath. crud also the baby can't communicate to others... or well no one speaks baby.

chapter 2 BABY TREK:
So uhh so far Systemhelm, is lost somewhere in DF and no where to be seen, can't talk to others outside of greeting them and force to crawl most of the way there.
Had her waddle into a hilltop own by goblins to grab a bag of plumphelmets and wander off hoping nothing comes out and insta kills her.
then after slowly walking at 0.105 speed I drop  some shrooms and crafted a Minecart... surprisingly she a well crafted one on her first try.

so the story is now a goblindwarf hybrid baby who's not even 1 years old has to find her DADuncleDwarf and Her BadassMom riding in a plumphelmet minecart.
edit: crud baby fell straight into a frozen waterfall and mangled her leg... only the next day to fully recover from her injuries.
double edit: okay so wander into a town, claim the site to be mine and got no reaction, they totally started talking about some kind of big threat and blah blah so at midnight, I was rolling around and hit the lord with the minecart, I didn't realize at first that I MURDERed him but the kill is tied to the kart not the baby, so I mop up the only other guy preventing My baby from becoming Lady of place.
Systemhelm can't eat plumphelmets straight up but she can totally Eat a human heart just fine.
the human mechanic was the only person left of the old rule which lead to this picture where I slam the mechanic into the stairwell


CHAPTER 3: the Ruler age 0

[TheFlame52]

awesome

[Max™]

Ok so I was already giggling and told the gf about this and she says "that's like the story of my life" which pushed me right over the edge.

[Tawa]

Sure is a nice place here!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

help
my sides

Also, diplomacy is strange in DF.

[Blastbeard]

Nothing like a romp through Darwinism Simulator Version 40.24 to make you feel smarter than the average humanoid.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is obviously an inaccurate representation -- we all know an authentic villager would have jumped through the window to escape.

[Rumrusher]

Nothing like a romp through Darwinism Simulator Version 20.24 to make you feel smarter than the average humanoid.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is obviously an inaccurate representation -- we all know an authentic villager would have jumped through the window to escape.

that and there's no windows in hamlets or dwarf forts but that's mostly a good thing as bogeymen would morelikely look into them and run in(they can open doors) and murder everyone inside.

[Blastbeard]

...And so is this:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I am absolutely psyched for Jurassic World.

[Tawa]

stupid smelters, inescapably killing me

[highmax28]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

stupid smelters, inescapably killing me

I remember I did this to kill myself because I got lost inside the fortress which I swear had no way in or out except that spawn. The madness of being lost in the fortress...

[Tawa]

Funny thing is, I was trying to jump over the magma pit for fun, instead of jumping in. I blame the hypermassive slade for sucking me down

[Max™]

Probably jumped into the impassable tile, I did that once when the room I was spawned in had only one door left to check for an exit but it was across a tile with a smelter next to it like:
║\ 7
┼◘─◘
║7σ

[Loam]

My traveling companion, the fair Ameli Trussedtours:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Eyes need some work, they look a bit crazy right now. I may try to remove the outlines since they're something of an artifact - lacking a scanner I have to photograph my drawings and touch them up, since the picture quality is usually pretty bad.

Spoiler: Original, for reference (click to show/hide)

[Max™]

The crazy eyes kills me every time.

[Magnus]

The eyes are perfect, don't touch them.

She has seen some shit, dude. She has seen some shit.

[Max™]

She had her friends and family disemboweled by a little dorf girl, and the little dorf girl used her teeth to do it... she has definitely seen some shit.