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[Untelligent]

(Dearie me, I copied the wrong map. Updated.)

[Sensei]

Who replaced the # with an open space? ...you, Untelligent?? That's water, not a grate. What, don't tell me you think that boat is sitting there because there's a grate??

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',.a╔══════GG══════╗.ccc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈☺≈≈#G≈≈≈≈≈≈║`cT♠,..`'
','.c,a╚══════GG══════╝.ccc.',`.
.,','cc'`##################.`'♠.
.',.c.,#####<+@@i@+>####`'',.`,.
,',.,v.#####<@+ii@+>#####,..'.',

Also, it's about time to get rid of that boat. Citing Modern Machines and their Facilitation in Tacticus, by Sankis the Beardless, if I put in the time to make a snazzy .gif it goes whether you like it or not.

[Untelligent]

As you have also copied the wrong map, I may now enact Torret Doge's Ploy, as described in para 3, pg. 106 of Advanced Tacticus Techniques Named after Famous Tacticus Players who First Used Them.

The dwarven mechanic, while setting up the Bear Traps, secretly (as the nature of traps tends to be) used the magic spell inscribed on the Runed Grate (and any reader of Magical Artifices and Their Unique Properties, specifically pg. 217, para 12, knows that any spell inscribed on a grate will always succeed unless otherwise stated) in his inventory to magick into existence a hidden room underneath the bridge, after which he used his Ranger skill to sneak the bears in from the nearby lake onto the bridge and into the room. He then placed the Runed Grate over the bridge, which looked, of course, exactly like the water that used to occupy the space the room now takes up, thus disguising the true nature of the Bear Traps.

The correct map, of course, given your turn just now, looks like this:

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',.a╔═══════════G══╗.ccc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈GGG≈║`cT♠,..`'
','.c,a╚═══════════G══╝.ccc.',`.
.,','cc'`##################.`'♠.
.',.c.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,v.##################,..'.',


[Sensei]

I call SHENANIGANS!

You can't build things underwater, you didn't announce doing any of that, and your dwarf doesn't have any ranks in sorcerer.

[Untelligent]

Obviously it was done in secret so as not to reveal the trap to any other creature.

As for the underwater building, it was magicked into existence, not built (which of course Differentiating between the Mundane and the Non-mundane validates on para 1, pg. 14). And if you read my post, you'll notice that the spell was inscribed on a grate, thus nullifying my Dwarven Mechanic's lack of a sorcerer skill.

[Untelligent]

Oh, and finally, Torret Doge's Ploy allows me to announce something long after it happened if there was any kind of discontinuity in the map brought about by another player, so long as the events I announced did not affect the visible map in a noticeable way.

[Limul Thak]

Ah. I had not taken into account Modern Machines and their Facilitation in Tacticus, or else I would have protected my boat under the anti-.gif clause within the very same book! It's probably the most useful self-contradiction in all of Tacticus, not counting the Pantsheim-Oldbeard conundrum from the third edition of the Pantsheim rules (yet another reason for me to forego all post-first edition editions).

Well, thanks to Bards in Tacticus, my singing imps are now ired ("Though imps are wee pricks, they're sentimental pricks. They get rather upset if friends bite it")! This triples their fighting potential. But wait, you say; didn't they die on the boat? Well, to be blunt, no. *Ahem* "Imps are, as said approximately three hundred times within this tome, pricks. This makes them very tenacious, and you're bound to see them again and again." I place them on the shore, where they start mauling cats and singing. Oh, and my vermin swarm eats the northernmost Aaron Burr, producing a *rolls d200*... oh my Armok. According to the "Reproduction of Dwarves" table, I just rolled up Captain Ironblood! What were the odds, I mean aside from one in two hundred... Ironblood is too awesome to be marked as a @, so he'll be marked simply as "I":

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔═══════════G══╗.ccc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈GGG≈║`cT♠,..`'
','.cia╚═══════════G══╝.ccc.',`.
.,','ic'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'.##################,..'.',
To be safe, I'm playing the "The "I"s Have It!" rule in Oldbeard's tome: "Bugger it. In my day anything marked as an "i" or "I" was as such." Nobody can undo the imps or Ironblood for any "shenanigans" or unfairness calls. Yay!

I stop my turn there, in accordance to the "Drama in Tacticus" television-based rules from the Age of Idiocy in the Continent of Amherca, which in summary state that I should leave a cliffhanger for now, for extra dramatic effect.

[ousire]

if we cant get rid of ironblood via shenaigans, then we just gotta destroy him! i invoke the godmode-duelist's law from chapter 6 of the dvine whoopass rulebook. simply stated, when a character of sufficient whoopassery levels is placed on the map, another equal character may be played to balance the power. so thusly i play morul, hardworker extrodanaire!

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔═══════════G══╗.ccc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈GGG≈║`cT♠,..`'
'm'.cia╚═══════════G══╝.ccc.',`.
.,','ic'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'.##################,..'.',_m=morul

[Keita]

HAHA! I envoke the secrect rules "Metal Bands In TACTICUS" from the book "Secret Rules and How To Use Them To Annoy People" page 4, para 2 stating that, If the words tenacious and another word to do with music (ie singing in this case) are used in the same post you may open a deamon pit and summon Kyle Grass and Jack Black to the table.

I thus put them on the table represented by a K and J respectivly

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔═══════════G══╗.ccc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈GGG≈║`cT♠,..`'
'm'.cia╚═══════════G══╝.ccc.',`.
.,','ic'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'.##################KJ.'.',
They can't do anything this turn as they were in the middle of a grass smoking season and connot be harmed intill next turn.

The tank...

*rolls*

...reverses into the tree behind it and is stuck for another turn.

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔═══════════G══╗.ccc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈GGG≈║`c'T,..`'
'm'.cia╚═══════════G══╝.ccc.',`.
.,','ic'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'.##################KJ.'.',

[Sensei]

Unwilling to fight Ironblood face to face, I move south four spaces (crushing an Aaron Burr and a cat). The I reverse the polarity on my death ray (See William Shatner's essay "Reversing the polarity- what does that really even mean?", TACTICUS section) and fire it on Morul, giving to rise to SUUUUUUPER MORUL!! He is represented by a funny greek M thingy.

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔═══════════G══╗.ccc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈GGG≈║`cT♠,..`'
'ϻ'.ci,╚═══════════G══╝.ccc.',`.
.,','i.'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'M##################KJ.'.',

[Untelligent]

Four of the grizzlies advance to the east and attack three of the cats. (rolls)

Two of the cats are instantly devoured due to the bears' massive size advantage, but the third manages to dodge due to its lithe and miniscule figure.


The fifth grizzly pauses to hunt for salmon. Useless bastard.

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔══════════════╗G.cc`.,..
..','aM║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈≈≈≈≈GGcT♠,..`'
'ϻ'.ci,╚═══════════G══╝G.cc.',`.
.,','i.'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'M##################KJ.'.',


[Sensei]

Map update: I cloned my mech by accident. The one still where I was is just an optical illusion caused by my fast movement within the squigglies created by Ironblood's awesomeness.

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔══════════════╗G.cc`.,..
..','a.║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈≈≈≈≈GGcT♠,..`'
'ϻ'.ci,╚═══════════G══╝G.cc.',`.
.,','i.'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'M##################KJ.'.',


[ousire]

Map update: I cloned my mech by accident. The one still where I was is just an optical illusion caused by my fast movement within the squigglies created by Ironblood's awesomeness.

his sheer awsomness caused spatial-warping, thus creating an optical illusion?

[Keita]

Ironblood is so awesome he renders all atempts at explaing useless

RIGHT! I shall start off with the tank and...

*rolls*

...It shoots forward crushing the two bears and the cat in front of it.

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔══════════════╗G.cc`.,..
..','a.║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈≈≈≈≈T'.'♠,..`'
'ϻ'.ci,╚═══════════G══╝G.cc.',`.
.,','i.'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'M##################KJ.'.',

A dwarf then manages to get on top and get the automatic gun working. He fires on the bear to the left of the tank.

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔══════════════╗G.cc`.,..
..','a.║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈≈≈≈≈T'.'♠,..`'
'ϻ'.ci,╚═══════════G══╝..cc.',`.
.,','i.'`##################.`'♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`,.
,',.,'M##################KJ.'.',
As the rule "Dwarfs & Elephants: Bitter Enemies Can Be Suprisingly The Same" In the supliment book "Dwarfs & TACTICUS" page 4, para 2 which means that when a dwarf works out how to do something properly, he remembers and it can be used once per turn as well as the random effect of being in an unknow vehicle.

Kage and Jack walk north but spot some mushrooms by the tree and stop to pick them.

Code: [Select]

,'♠,U'K,####################,`.'
.♠'.`.####################.`,♠`,
M,.',Iv╔══════════════╗G.cc`.,..
..','a.║≈≈≈≈≈≈░≈≈≈≈≈≈≈T'.'♠,..`'
'ϻ'.ci,╚═══════════G══╝..cc.',`.
.,','i.'`##################.`K♠.
.',.i.,#################`'',.`J.
,',.,'M##################,..'.',

[Joost66]

Ah tacticus. I wish to join this gentelmens game if no one is against it.