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[Sensei]

Hm... oh! Another prospective competitor! Hrm, yes... do you have any miniatures? Well, if not, you can borrow my Limestone miniature. Yes it's a stone- but terribly powerful with the right rulebooks, don't you know. I'll just place it on the pitch for you, chap.

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Oh, and why not take a glass of wine since you're? It's from '67, good year. Collect on alcohol token, if you would.

[Joost66]

Why Thank you but i have my own miniutures. First i summon my hammerlord. By the way how do i make a map i forgot since the last time i played Also i have never actualy played tacticus dwarfen edition

[Sensei]

Copy paste everything in the code window, and then put it in a code window. It's (code)whatever(/code), if you replace the parens with brackets. Everything in a code window fits together like a proper ASCII tile, so don't worry about different characters resizeng the map and long as you have a constant number of columns (in other words, it doesn't have to look right in the reply box, and preview before you post ALWAYS).

Also, the instant insert for code above the reply box is the # symbol.

[Limul Thak]

Seeing as this thread has been inert for a few days, I invoke Tacticus and the Internet: A Guide for Earth-Based Tacticus and its "Bumps and Tacticus" section under chapter ten, or "The Forums and Tacticus" (a section written in by a future editor and sent back in time during the Age of Incontinence): "If it has been over two days since the last turn, then one may go again regardless of their turn order." Therefore, I go again.

I start by using the precipitation reports in my region (heavy thunderstorms) to cause rain on the map, as per "The Butterfly Effect", a rule found in the Pantsheim Rules (you know the edition by now), which allows for one to replicate weather from your own region to the Tacticus region through fancy-schmancy butterfly logic. This heavy rain destroys the limestone rock:

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Next, Ironblood declares that he is more awesome than Morul, and does so by eating a crumpet and wielding his artifact cabinet (all of which adds up to give Ironblood near-invincibility until his crumpet leaves the digestive tract, which never happens in the dwarven world!). He begins an epic showdown with Morul that obliterates everyone on the map within the first few seconds (except the imps, citing the "Tenacious Pricks" clause of Bards and Tacticus). The bridge collapses, everything becomes barren rock and the imps resign to the other side of the now-canyon to jeer the contenders:

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I'm sorry if anybody gets annoyed by this, but there are two things to make up for it: one, something had to happen to make things interesting (according to "Drama and Tacticus", as stated before), and two, as long as new figures avoid the plateau upon which the multiverse's most epic ever battle is happening, they're safe. So you can still play, everybody. Just leave the professionals alone.

[Keita]

HAHA you said tenacious and rock in the same post so I put both Kage and Jack back on the table.

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As per the rule "Oh Snap!" in the Tenacious D profile page 20-21 of the book "Famous People In Games Of TACTICUS" writin by Duff McAgen himself. They both notice that something bigs about to go down and watch expectanly at Morul and Ironblood

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Aha! According to the "Them's fightsy music, son" rule found on page 102 of the well-known rulebook "Oldmen and crossbows" Having two legendary dwarfs fight allows me to place Oldbeard upon the table. He proceeds to mock and disparage Morul and Ironblood in his old-fashioned ways.

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[Iituem]

Supplementals, p2156, paragraph 3.

RANDOM EVENT

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Tentacles spring up from the barren chasm!  They will not move, but will interfere with any creatures directly over them.

[Untelligent]

I place a Half-Elven Necrodruid on the table.

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He attempts to cast the spell Desecrate Remains, as described on the pg. 263 of an informational supplemental addendum to the first edition of Pantsheim, The Spellbook Full of Spellbooks. *rolls*

Success! Foul spirits from the Plane of Marsupials, Nightstands, and Used-Horse Salesmen begin to draw the remains of three of the grizzlies together to create forms to inhabit.

Seeing as the bears were blasted into tiny particles by the force of the Ironblood/Morul duel, this will take a while. *rolls* Three of my turns, to be exact.

[ousire]

i place a balista on standby to fire at the morul and ironblood, should the battle begin to tear at the fabric of reality

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also, i then summon and elven druid and have him use the force summon trees and plants to fix the wasteland

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[Limul Thak]

My singing imps push the ballista to the lowest point of the map, politely shoving Kage and Jack out of the way (to quote Bards and Tacticus, page fifty-seven, "If the imps get mischief in their minds, they can do anything to achieve it"). They set fire to one of their shirts and wrap it around the ballista's missile, and shoot said flaming missile at the druid's plant life, setting it all aflame and eradicating it all, leaving naught but the druid himself:

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.E.....&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&KJ|--i.Next, I use the rules in the Pantsheim edition one rules specifying ungodly tentacles and their interactions with innocent elves to have the nearest tentacles grab the poor fellow and drag him into the nether regions of existence, where he'll be caged and perverted for eternity!

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.......&&&&E&&&&&&&&&&&&&KJ|--i.End turn.

[Sensei]

Using Tacticus and the Internet: A guide for Earth-based TACTICUS, I may summon a youtube video of my choice to replace my pieces which were lost in the apocalypse.

I summon Steve Ballmer and fourteen developers.

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.......&&&&E&&&&&&&&&&&&&KJ|--i.Due to lack of sponsor interest for the time being, they do nothing this turn.

[Keita]

I play the rule When All Else Fails, Start On A New Sheet! from the book Bordem In TACTICUS which stats that "if a game of TACTICUS is not played for sometime (amount of time is up to whoever manages to find this rule) then you may start a-fresh on a new table"

I now set the table again.

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it appears that I have not the power to make a suffishent battle field and there for play Map Building With Other People from TACTICUS And Friends: Even The Ones You Meet Online And Have Never Know. which means the next person may add to the field of battle.

The When All Else Fails, Start On A New Sheet! rule aslo means I have to wait before I can put models on the board

[Emmanovi]

Aha! Well, quoting from my revised edition of TACTICUS: A Complex Guide to the Simple Basics of Tactical Gaming: "Should the When All Else Fails, Start On A New Sheet! rule be invoked, any prospective gentlemen with a mind to play who have not yet encroached upon the game may immediately set up a piece and act out the most rudimentary of turns."

Taking this fully in mind, I place a respectable Human Carpenter by the name of Carv O'Woody on the board, inside this small generic walled building. He is armed with a small wooden hatchet and a knife for plying his trade.

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Naturally, no good carpenter likes to see a doorway exist without a door within it, so he immediately seeks out the nearest wood source. Quoting my copy of the supplement Forests: or What to Do When All The Wood Runs Out (1987 archaic language edition, don't you know!): "Whenst yt should occur that a man of carpentry or woodcuttyng should hav no materyals for hys work, the game board wyll, of yts own volytyon, extendeth yn the most logycal dyrectyon to accomodate a wood of 2D10-D6 trees."

Rolling these dice, I get... 3, 2 and 6. Blast!

... but wait! The supplement continues with a footnote: "As stated yn the orygynal Pantsheym ruleset: 'Should a negative number of trees ever be called into existence by a dice roll, the result should be treated as whatever minimum positive result could occur, plus one.'"

Thank Armok! That means I can summon a vaguely healthy two trees. I choose to let this forest appear to the East of this rudimentary dwelling.

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The trees are, naturally, Acacia.

At the risk of someone invoking the overruling TL;DR - Too Bloody Much! rule, I end my turn here.

[Keita]

Well my turn I guess.

I start by playing a human infected with T-virus on the board.

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As per the "Hoard" rule from the zombie entry in the book "Zombies In TACTICUS: Aim For The Head" page 4 para 6i. I roll a d7 to see how many more zombies move onto the table.

*rolls*

4 more move on.

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I now get to add D3 colums onto the board as per the rule"Give Us Some Room!" from the expansion book "Making TACTICUS Boards More Interesting" writtin by the legendary TACTICUS playerMr P. I. Stacker.

*rolls*

1, new board is thus

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[Sensei]

According to Smiddy Werbenmanjensen, in Cave Creatures in TACTICUS, volume three, chapter four, paragraph eleven, all houses have a 10% chance of being occupied by a cave crocodile if the map or world undergoes sufficient changes (EG, a new worldgen).

*Rolls*
Nineteen! I place a cave crocodile in the house. It spends the rest of the turn hanging up its hat and coat.

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