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Author Topic: Strange and Funny Ocurrances  (Read 11798 times)

jryan

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Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« on: June 19, 2009, 07:00:05 pm »

What's the strangest and funniest things to happen in your fortress... mostly looking for non-violent stuff.

I have two recently...

1) I had a reenactment of "The World According to Garp" when a female dwarf got bizzay with a hammer dwarf that was injured and confined to his bed with a red head wound.  The coupling resulted in a son.

2) A champion female Wrestler and her husband Champion wrestler did a whole lot of "wrestling".  At one point they had two toddlers AND she was carrying two infants.  His sperm were heat seeking missiles.
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Efun

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2009, 07:02:52 pm »

Military dorfs are the busiest if their partner is also in the military, Military children are my forts future, also its really sad when a mother carrying her child into battle gets hit, and the baby dies....
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Military dorfs are the busiest if their partner is also in the military, Military children are my forts future, also its hilariously tragic when a mother carrying her child into battle gets hit, and the baby dies....
I fixed that up for you.

Untelligent

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2009, 07:06:08 pm »

My dwarves have an unusual habit of killing off the diplomats without my permission.


First, they assassinated my dwarven liason by deconstructing the bridge he was standing on.

Later, they stranded a human diplomat up on the mountain via timing the deconstruction of the only ramp up perfectly. I did not notice this, and he was later killed by goblin ambushers. He was stuck in a bugged state for years before then, never leaving, so I didn't mind much.

Now the elves have sent me a treemaster for the first time in the fourteen years I've been here. It's only a matter of time before he gets added to the deceased list. At which point the elves will probably start raiding me. Armok knows I'm being sieged more than enough nowadays.
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The World Without Knifebear A much safer world indeed.
regardless, the slime shooter will be completed, come hell or high water, which are both entirely plausible setbacks at this point.

Gergination

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2009, 07:10:02 pm »

Military dorfs are the busiest if their partner is also in the military, Military children are my forts future, also its hilariously tragic when a mother carrying her child into battle gets hit, and the baby dies....

I fixed that up for you.

Dwarven babies are actually magnetic, hence their mothers' using them as a shield.
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With [SLOW_LEARNER], dwarves probably don't sit around and talk anymore. They just stand in the same corner altogether, staring at each other, sticking their bearded lips out trying to make sounds. And giggling when someone actually says a whole word.

jryan

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2009, 07:16:01 pm »

I got some pleasure once when I was roundly admonished by the Elf diplomat for cutting down the sparse trees in my zone.  He issued an order, made fun of my height and then made a grand and flamboyant exit from my fort... right into a wandering Troll.
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Efun

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2009, 07:23:46 pm »

Military dorfs are the busiest if their partner is also in the military, Military children are my forts future, also its hilariously tragic when a mother carrying her child into battle gets hit, and the baby dies....

I fixed that up for you.

Dwarven babies are actually magnetic, hence their mothers' using them as a shield.

Sigged, I got rid of Tormy's "locat bones > adamantine" just for that...

Be happy!!
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Military dorfs are the busiest if their partner is also in the military, Military children are my forts future, also its hilariously tragic when a mother carrying her child into battle gets hit, and the baby dies....
I fixed that up for you.

jryan

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2009, 07:37:44 pm »

Here's a weird one that just happened... and funny too!

I had a dwarf named Lordam that had been unconscious for over a year from a wicked training accident with a warhammer.  The other dwarfs name that was involved in the accident was Datan Modestroad...

Well, the comatose dwarf just woke from his coma in a fey mood, limped down to the nearest craft shop and made this:



Looks like Lordam has some vengeful feelings about that accident...

Wait until he finds out he has a 1 year old son he never knew he sired!! (yeah, same guy)
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jryan

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2009, 07:51:51 pm »

Lucky for Datan it appears that Lordam stumbled back to bed and fell back into a coma.

 
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Untelligent

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2009, 10:20:38 pm »

I have a giant-ass mountain full of tin, but not a speck of copper to be found, so I can't make any bronze. I get plenty of iron from the goblins, though, so I wasn't worried about it too much.


Then a little while ago I got the four baron-nobles: baron, consort, hammerer, tax collector.

Of those four, three of them like copper alloys: The baron likes lay pewter, the tax collector likes fine pewter, and the hammerer likes billon.

I only just noticed now, when the baron and tax collector made some production mandates.

This is revenge for killing off the liason, I know it. Maybe I'll get lucky and strike some tetrahedrite soon.
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The World Without Knifebear A much safer world indeed.
regardless, the slime shooter will be completed, come hell or high water, which are both entirely plausible setbacks at this point.

Efun

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2009, 10:48:33 pm »

This is revenge for killing off the liason, I know it. Maybe I'll get lucky and strike some tetrahedrite soon.

I can see the king now...

King: We need nobles to head to a new mountain home... Who like copper products?

Noble: I like pewter...

King: Good, your going.
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Military dorfs are the busiest if their partner is also in the military, Military children are my forts future, also its hilariously tragic when a mother carrying her child into battle gets hit, and the baby dies....
I fixed that up for you.

ein

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2009, 10:56:52 pm »

This is revenge for killing off the liason, I know it. Maybe I'll get lucky and strike some tetrahedrite soon.

I can see the king now...

King: We need nobles to head to a new mountain home... Who like copper products?

Noble: I like pewter...

King: Good, your going.

Obviously the King wants them dead.

Anyways, I was trying to build a bath (top layer is water, second is magma).
I mixed up the pipes and ended up with 4 deep magma with a tank of water beneath it.

Chalk

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2009, 03:45:14 am »

My dungeon master worries me to no end.

Of my 130+ dwarves, he only makes friends with children. No matter how many parties the others host, he only attends those of the children... and just now he demanded a cage placed in his bedroom.

I'll have to keep my eye on him.
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Gergination

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2009, 03:49:47 am »

My dungeon master worries me to no end.

Of my 130+ dwarves, he only makes friends with children. No matter how many parties the others host, he only attends those of the children... and just now he demanded a cage placed in his bedroom.

I'll have to keep my eye on him.

You didn't start worrying when he strutted around your fortress in nothing but 30 cloaks on his way to tame a dragon? 
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With [SLOW_LEARNER], dwarves probably don't sit around and talk anymore. They just stand in the same corner altogether, staring at each other, sticking their bearded lips out trying to make sounds. And giggling when someone actually says a whole word.

Chalk

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2009, 03:54:18 am »

My dungeon master worries me to no end.

Of my 130+ dwarves, he only makes friends with children. No matter how many parties the others host, he only attends those of the children... and just now he demanded a cage placed in his bedroom.

I'll have to keep my eye on him.

You didn't start worrying when he strutted around your fortress in nothing but 30 cloaks on his way to tame a dragon? 
Hey, these are nobles. There's no accounting for taste with some folk.
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EagleV

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Re: Strange and Funny Ocurrances
« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2009, 04:23:55 am »

My dungeon master worries me to no end.

Of my 130+ dwarves, he only makes friends with children. No matter how many parties the others host, he only attends those of the children... and just now he demanded a cage placed in his bedroom.

I'll have to keep my eye on him.

You didn't start worrying when he strutted around your fortress in nothing but 30 cloaks on his way to tame a dragon? 
Hey, these are nobles. There's no accounting for taste with some folk.

I was thinking my Dungeon master was weird, for running around in cloacks, socks, shoes en mittens, but apparently it is common among the higher class dwarves.
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Quote from: Robert Donoghue and Fred Hicks
There are three things you must learn if you wish to defeat me, my young pupil. First, you must look within yourself and find your core of strength. Second, your mind and body must be in perfect unison. Third...
*WHACK*
Third, stop listening when you should be fighting.
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