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[Org]

Note, that this is my first try at creative writing, so it may be bad. Also that this is only part one of the Tale.

The Tale of Ingish

...Herein lies the lost tale of the dwarf Ingish. A legend, some say. Just a story old father dwarves tell their little children. But to others, Ingish was a hero. Here begins his travels to the Great Mountain, leading to a quest that only he foresaw...

...Ingish continued, even though his feet were blistered and scratched. His leather boots were worn through, but even that could not stop him. He had long since run out of food and water, but that would not stop him. Deadly beasts and scheming villains dared attack him, but none could stop Ingish. His sword cut and hew and flayed them all, his wrath none could stay. The elements burned and chilled, but not even that could stop him. For Ingish was headed for the oldest mountain home, Ironclashed, deep within the Wild Lands, to retrieve that which was lost.

    He could see it now, in the distance. The mountain peaked in the horizon, and joy leapt to his heart. Years, he had waited for this single moment. His goal was so close, Ingish could feel it. None of the old legends could deter him from what he sought, not the traps that could skewer many a goblin, nor the Legendary Beasts, not even the legends of the Depths. For long his goal seemed unobtainable, but Ingish’s fate was not to die in the hands of his goblin captors, nor to die in the stomach of Camodus the Incinerator, as he had thought. But those are for a different story.

    Ingish continued for another day, and he finally neared the gates of Ironclashed, and was awed by the sight. The walls of the mountain home looked tall enough to dwarf a Titan, and strong enough to withstand many a siege. He looked to the sun, noticing that dusk would come soon. He scowled at himself, for there would be no time today to get in. He sat next to the titanic wall, resting his head on the old stone blocks. He smiled to himself, and then closed his eyes, waiting for the next day.

Criticism is welcome. Tell me how I did.

Edit:Paragraphs Split

Edit Again:Error Fixing and Word Changing.

[Mr Tk]

Not bad, just a couple of things.

Don't start or end your sentences with a ... It's usually reserved for when you are wanting to put in pause in the flow of the sentence.

Second paragraphs. Makes it easier for people to read, and the easier it is the more likely they are to read it.

[Org]

Not bad, just a couple of things.

Don't start or end your sentences with a ... It's usually reserved for when you are wanting to put in pause in the flow of the sentence.

Second paragraphs. Makes it easier for people to read, and the easier it is the more likely they are to read it.

Ahh...
I was using it to continue from a point along his journey.

And I probably should split it.
Thanks.

[Vlynndar]

Ah, the great Org hath many faces...

[Org]

Anyone else have something to say about it?

[Muz]

Well, yeah, I'd leave the '...' out. Use it only when necessary. I personally go for when there's a dramatic pause, like in the movies when someone opens his mouth to speak... and says nothing.

And um, it's sort of boring. It has energy, but that energy is just stagnant, not being directed anywhere. It's incomplete, but yeah, I'm not fond of excess details that don't lead anywhere. Some people like it, but I think words should guide towards the goal.

[Vlynndar]

Chekov's gun?

[Enzo]

As a minor nitpick? The past tense of hew is hewed. Also,

But to others, Ingish was a hero. But to me, he was more than that.

Starting two sentences in a row with but is pretty awkward. Besides that, though, it's pretty well written and if you were to undertake something a little longer (and with a plot  ) I think you could write a entertaining (certainly readable) story. And if we judge it on the sliding scale of fanfic quality, it's actually very very good