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[Qloos]

A mason had a tantrum and beat a child to death, then was promptly elected mayor.  Then the Captain of the Guards comes running down stairs to beat up the Mayor.  The mayor spends the rest of his life bedridden.

[Albedo]

Is it POSSIBLE to play Dwarf Fortress so much that it stops surprising you?

In theory, you could just get jaded/calloused.

You'd still be surprised, but you wouldn't be surprised that you're surprised, so the reaction would not be detectable.

[fennec]

My dwarves surprised me by mostly not-dying. I had a magma vent which was exposed to the surface, and wanted to avoid forest fires, so I figured I'd pump some water on top of it. Some of the water flowed diagonally, apparently, and caused a few cave-ins. One of those punched right through the bottom of a corner of the magma vent and into a room underneath. My dining hall.

"Eek!", I thought, in panic. But it was relatively empty. A recruit, a weaponsmith (not the good weaponsmith), a miller, a wood burner, and a war dog died.... and that's all. The rest of the dwarves were all off being useful (guess that's the real surprise....)

*My map also has an aquifer, so the main stairwell was near the vent (to pass through the aquifer layers) and the dining hall was near the main stairwell. I'm rethinking this strategy...

[kalida99]

Scratch that, on  my new humen i have discovered they like rappers...

apperantly 2pok made his way into DF as 2 Pike

also:

[Greiger]

Inspired by the Order of the Stick comic I mod in starmetal as a custom metal.  It is very rare, expensive, and can be alloyed with iron for a 150% effectiveness metal and steel for a 175% effectiveness metal.

The first artifact that gets made using starmetal enhanced iron?  A Greatsword.  I think Roy had temporarily possessed one of my fortress residents.


New one today: Orcs ambush an early fort.  My military consists of two adept crossbowmen equipped with bone bolts and wooden crossbows, and a pair of wrestlers. Nobody has any armor outside of a hodgepodge of armor made from turtle shell and bone.  I have no traps, and the crossbow deck is not yet complete.  At least the orcs didn't bring any bows.

I expect utter failure, so I activate my two legendary miners and stick them in with the wrestlers.  Hoping for the slightly armored wrestlers to draw the orc attacks while the miners put their picks to good use.

The crossbowmen quickly run out of their fish bone bolts, causing little damage but a arm wound on an orc swordsman, and then charge the orcs, and for some reason end up ahead of the wrestlers in the charge.  The orcs make short work of the crossbowmen, turning them to kibble before the rest of the force even arrive.  The wrestlers do a little better, lasting for a couple dozen frames, but also doing little damage. 

But the miners amaze me.  I thought they would be toast once their meat shields bit it, but not only are they lasting, they are kicking ass!  2 orcs die before they even get a scratch on them, 1 more orc critically wounded. 1 orc dodges into a murky pool, making himself a non issue. Another ambush group shows itself, turning the odds to 8 vs 2.  But they still can barely touch the completely unarmored, no wrestling skill miners. Another orc unconscious from organ wounds, and the orcs break and flee, while the miners finish off the wounded.  One miner is completely untouched.  The other miner has a brown lower leg and a light grey left hand.  I think I may try to invest in a 100% miner military now.

(odd note that I just noticed.  I'm suddenly short 1 pick.  I think one of the orcs fled with one of my picks still sticking out of their back.)

[MrFake]

Swordbaldness:

First embarkation.  210+ dwarves have made a pretty home and are getting bored with fending off goblins and pleasing the dumbnut of a Countess (Black bronze?  What, I can dye some bronze black, ya jerk).  I decide it's time to enable Justice, as I have the cells and Captain's Rooms ready.  Boy was that stupid.  After years of ignoring the Countess, I had accrued a fair number of beatings.  Immediately, 6 dwarves are dead.  Surprised?  No.

I let the tantrum spiral continue, because it's the most interesting thing they've had to do for some time.  Now, I guess because I had two meeting places/statue gardens, my fortress was rolling in children (well over half the population).  Not only does the familial relationship situation feed the fire, but ... you can imagine bloodthirsty children roaming the halls, utterly destroying pantywaist nobles and elven dignitaries.  Many of you have experienced it.

The last dwarves remaining are a group of champions (that refuse to tantrum because they love bloodshed!) and a dozen or so children.  It's Lord of the Flies, man.  I lock the champions in a closet so they can starve and wait for one of the kids to go berserk.  And one does...

The best bit, the surprise, is that she calmly waits in a corner of the dining room.  It's situated at the crossroads of all pathways in the fortress, and has the best direct access to the food and booze.  She's just lying in wait there, brutally murdering everyone that comes by.  When someone even gets close to the doors, she smells their flesh, springs out, rips them apart with her hands, then runs back and remains dead still.  The fortress ends with a dwarven caravan arriving just as the last helpless child is slaughtered.  The merchants, a melancholy human diplomat (this isn't a nice place by now), and the murderous preteen are left.

Second embarkation.  Reclaim with a couple dozen ass kickers.  I relieve them all because I'm stupid and need haulers to clean up the mess left behind.  After a while, a dwarf goes down into the mines to haul some junk.  Down there he finds a little dwarf girl, seemingly left behind in the chaos, sullenly brooding, calmly awaiting the chance to taste more blood.

Tantrum spiral part two...

[Red Minjo]

Amazing.  Sadly, my dining room and finely engraved rooms all over my fortress seem to make everyone too happy to ever make for Fun times.  The only dwarves below ecstatic in my fort are jailed or in the military, even counting the dwarves with entire families atom smashed.  I've only had one murder in my fort over its 8 or so years, from a military dwarf. I've also had no tantrums that lasted longer than a second, those mostly from bedridden guards.  All dwarves that go crazy just babble.
I have had a champion killed by a beating, and my engraver survive a beating while I think she was in bed, though. And my fortress has about 85 kids in its sub-200 total population.  It's part of why I made my atom smashing machine in the first place. 

[MrFake]

Amazing.  Sadly, my dining room and finely engraved rooms all over my fortress seem to make everyone too happy to ever make for Fun times.  The only dwarves below ecstatic in my fort are jailed or in the military, even counting the dwarves with entire families atom smashed.  I've only had one murder in my fort over its 8 or so years, from a military dwarf. I've also had no tantrums that lasted longer than a second, those mostly from bedridden guards.  All dwarves that go crazy just babble.
I have had a champion killed by a beating, and my engraver survive a beating while I think she was in bed, though. And my fortress has about 85 kids in its sub-200 total population.  It's part of why I made my atom smashing machine in the first place. 

I also drafted a full complement of guards and royal guards at the same time.  The fresh recruits were the first to go murder-crazy, so the bad thoughts from the draft may have compounded the problem beyond the tantrum event horizon.

[Red Minjo]

My current mayor has just recieved a beating.  The Tax Collector, who issued the punishment, is friends with him, and I don't think the mayor had the skill needed for his mandate.  For some strange reason I don't feel as bad about this as when my engraver got beaten on orders from a past mayor.

[Megaman]

A(not so suprising): a noble mandated something he was demanding
B: I send in a sqaud of marksdwarves to kill 3 ambushers Just a few gobbies I thought then alll 6 dwarves unloaded their ammo, not hitting A THING, and then then they charged into the three swordsmen. I sent over a squad of melees, but as soon as they got there the marksdwarves kill the 2 swordsmen, then I felt rather happy. The last one(a hammerman) came up and killed them all. My melee champs then completely oblitorated the hammer guy. Forunately, I had another 6 peasants from a immigration wave a few seconds later and sent them to train up archery,then whilst target practiced they head shotted' a kobold theif walking by. I never know wood bolts could do that :/

[RyanW]

Does stuff that happened in World Gen count?

I saw a human female with 35 kills. 34 elves in a series of wars during her 30s and 40s. And, at the ripe old age of 103, a bronze colossus.

Whatever you do, don't get grandma mad.

[smjjames]

My current mayor has just recieved a beating.  The Tax Collector, who issued the punishment, is friends with him, and I don't think the mayor had the skill needed for his mandate.  For some strange reason I don't feel as bad about this as when my engraver got beaten on orders from a past mayor.

Yea, sometimes they'll sort of choose someone at random out of frustration or something.

[Vampire Penguin]

Scratch that, on  my new humen i have discovered they like rappers...

apperantly 2pok made his way into DF as 2 Pike

also:

Oh yay, I'm not the only BGSF member here.

Today I finally found my underground river, freshly flooded with tons of nasties. I thought about redirecting the river, then flowing it into a chasm, giving the dwarves fresh water rather than stagnant. So I build the canals, and get ready to channel the last parts to flood the canals with our new drinking water, but no. This is Dwarf Fortress.

About 15 kittens decide to chase after the olms that teleported thorugh the walls, plus cave spiders. So I have a mother of about 10 kittens chase after vermin, kittens in suit. Once they leave, I put in the doors and give the order to channel.

If only it were so simple.

The miner breaks the one rock above to flood the canal, and water pours in. Success! But wait, why are all these people down here? Ah, right, we have about 13 pieces of booze in the fort. They would rather dehydrate than wait for more, but I guess they had enough. Blue arrows flood the above tunnels, coming to drink the great, fresh water. No more murky pools! But wait- a croc?! OMGWTFBBQ RUNoh wait the miner killed it. Good miner. OMG MORE?! GET THE MILITARY IN HERE.

Big mistake. They're all wrestlers. No resources to arm them yet, you see. They come after my miners have a good killfest, more kills then the military have combined. The heroic champs come to kill the baddies coming in from both sides.

Long story short: A soldier drowns, two squad leaders dead, and two civilian casualties. If that wasn't enough, a get a message shortly after telling me a hunter canceled the hunt due to dangerous terrain. She jumped into a pool hunting a wolf.

[HammerHand]

I suppose this isn't anything exceptional... but I decided to check in on my military's equipment.  I'm only in my second year, so I don't have much of a metalworks up and running yet.  As such, I'm butchering the local gibbons for leather armor.  The point is, I want to make sure all my soldiers are properly equipped in case something crazy happens with elephants or the like.

Well... I check one of my soldiers and... they appear to be wearing their leather shoes in place of leather gloves.  Their leather short boots are properly placed on their feet, but apparently they've decided that they don't want to be unarmed at all, and would rather kick whatever opponents they meet with their arms and fists, rather than legs and feet.

I am ... more perplexed than surprised, but it seemed worth a mention.

[Slogo]

I had a war dog surprise me yesterday. He finished off a wounded zombie tigerfish that had killed another war dog. He then proceeded to jump into the river, kill 2 more zombie tigerfish, and get back out without an injury on him. That dog is a force to be reckoned with. Actually all my war dogs have been impressing me. The one that died previously did so after fighting a zombie hippo, and 2 zombie tigerfish in succession by himself (falling to the last tigerfish).