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Author Topic: But...I just wanted to play you a song!  (Read 3028 times)

Xavior

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But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« on: July 25, 2009, 07:29:27 pm »

Saddened by the loss of her leader and her friends, all alone in the fight against Conservatism, the newly released Sabrina Montag has decided to take a new leaf. Gone are the ways of theft, destruction of property, and conversion by force. She would instead become a musical superstar, and with her massive heart and her guitar sway the masses into dreaming of a true Liberal Utopia.

She went out to the pawn shop, used the funds secured over the last year to buy a guitar, and walked out to the park. Reaching the center, she slung the guitar over her arm, and decided to start practicing.

The people around her flee in terror..well, maybe just starting to learn the guitar in front of an audience isn't the BEST way, but she was here, and she was going to do it, and no one was going to stand in the way of sharing her heart.

Sirens flared in the distance, a mite odd for the university district, perhaps the Conservative Crime Squad is still up to their rampages. Well she would show them, there WAS a better way...

Suddenly the cars stop just outside the park, and teams of the Police's Gang Unit start filtering through the area in a suppressive swarm.

Sabrina puts down her guitar and gets down to the ground lest any shots ring out, when six officers surround her and start aiming their weapons for her. She quickly drops the guitar and surrenders.

Two months later she stands trial. The charge?

Loitering.

The verdict? Guilty - Sentence, two more months in federal prison.


And this story doesn't even take into account the fact that everyone who isn't a complete coward will not only not run away, but will actually fight you. And if they have a gun, they will not hesitate to shoot you in the head for daring to play your guitar in the park.

I always thought it was a little odd how excessively violent all conservatives are when you're using relatively nonviolent means. There are no pleas for surrender, no warning shots. If they have a gun, they will shoot you, and if they're capable of it, they will hit something vital and permanently maim you. The only time you can even be taken down without being severely injured is when running from the police after the fact and taking 10,000 volts to the brain.

Also, the dodge skill, which appears to be the only means of surviving this fatal onslaught, only rises when YOU ARE SHOT AT. So you have to risk having your splein, liver, eyes, and face blown off, on a regular basis, in order to have any hope of not having your splein, liver, eyes, and face blown off. Oh, and instant death. That too. Melee fighting doesn't raise the skill at all.


Proposed changes:
  -  Make playing the guitar not immediately escalate conservative suspicions/alarm/response. If they're already suspicious and you start whipping out your guitar and singing protest songs, sure, they'll catch you and have you arrested. Otherwise, let you play in peace.

  - Give police, security guards, armed citizens, and unarmed citizens some way of subduing you without killing you. So long as you aren't toting around a weapon, police will not shoot you on sight. They may taser the hell out of you though, or grapple and forcibly handcuff you. If you run, they will either follow you or shoot you. Or both!

 - Or, offer you a chance to surrender without having to take initiative and ask for it. If a shot is about to be fired that won't miss(if it misses, it was a warning shot. yeah.) give you a chance to surrender immediately. If you start attacking or evading, all bets are off. Oh, and if you refuse, take a new roll for another shot immediately. You got warned for the first one, but they still have the advantage. Many a suicidal maniac has been shot down for reaching for their jacket.
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Xavior

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2009, 09:07:29 pm »

Also, I haven't ever been able to find the lockup in the police station, it seems like it should be there, it has a ! on the map, but even if I have liberals held there I can't go rescue them. Because...there's nothing there, even if I stand on the square.

Oh! If I stand on the square, it puts a bunch of HHHHHHHH down at the bottom. ANd use lights up.
I can't actually press it though.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2009, 09:09:27 pm by Xavior »
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Servant Corps

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2009, 10:20:05 pm »

Quote
Two months later she stands trial. The charge?

Loitering.

I think it is very funny to have Conservatives scream and attack you when you are playing the guitar. Keep in mind, playing the guitar is actually a criminal offense: "Disturbing the Peace".

What's not funny is getting charged with Loitering. That's the default crime you get charged with when you give up and you got no criminal record. I suppose if you got a good sleeper lawyer, you can defeat the charge, but waiting one whole month just for a trial based on loitering seems...gah.
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Yanlin

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2009, 03:01:07 am »

But how can one loiter in a PARK?!
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Leafsnail

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2009, 03:12:40 am »

The evil forces of conservatism are clearly at it again.  Clearly just being a liberal is now a crime.
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Yanlin

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2009, 03:55:49 am »

The evil forces of conservatism are clearly at it again.  Clearly just being a liberal is now a crime.

D'UH?!
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irmo

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2009, 03:59:47 am »

What's not funny is getting charged with Loitering. That's the default crime you get charged with when you give up and you got no criminal record. I suppose if you got a good sleeper lawyer, you can defeat the charge, but waiting one whole month just for a trial based on loitering seems...gah.

I agree that waiting up to a month for the trial is silly. Loitering, trespassing, and disturbing the peace (and maybe selling brownies/prostitution, depending on the laws?) should be handled by summary judgment. You spend the night in jail, and the next day you go to court and pay a fine.
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Xavior

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2009, 04:31:35 am »

Two months. One month in the police station. Another month in the courthouse waiting.

And yeah, it is kind of ridiculous, but it gives you time to prepare for the case if you're in serious trouble. It's also the same way it works in real life. You just normally don't spend the time stewing in jail, since we have "Bail".

Even a simple traffic ticket gives you a court date to arrange a court date. With a month between each(two months total)

Oh, and another thing I didn't mention. Even if you enact this story immediately at the beginning of the game, you will experience just as lethal results. Any conservative with a gun will think you a prime target for a bullet to the brain.
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HAMMERMILL

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2009, 06:24:37 am »


Cops gunning down hippies because they are shouting and strumming guitars?

It is just as realistic as cynical policemen, hardened federal agents and brainwashed soldiers instantly discarding their conservative idealogy and deserting their misguided cause because El Che rocked them so hard with his face-melting guitar solo.

Anyways, It works better when you have full six bandmembers.
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Leafsnail

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2009, 04:04:24 pm »

Actually, it might make more sense to go to a less big trial, and of course have bail.  For instance, in the UK for a minor offence you go to the magistrate's court, with no jury and three magistrates (since the cost of the crime cannot justify the cost of a full trial).  You can, however, often appeal a decision in the magistrate's court and take it to the crown court.
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DJ

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2009, 05:05:55 am »

In communist Yugoslavia, people were often sent to Goli Otok (a forced labour prison for political dissidents) to cool off for five or fifteen years just for singing the wrong songs.
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Xavior

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #11 on: July 29, 2009, 06:48:45 am »

Well, then the current behavior is perfect for when the country has slid into a Conservative Nightmare. ...not so much for present day america. I'm also fairly sure they'd behave the same way in a Liberal Utopia
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BigFatDwarf

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2009, 06:31:38 pm »

In communist Yugoslavia, people were often sent to Goli Otok (a forced labour prison for political dissidents) to cool off for five or fifteen years just for singing the wrong songs.

Yes ... Goli Otok (Naked Island) seems a nice holiday destination for liberal, naked hippies singing songs and getting high ...
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Neonivek

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2009, 02:48:53 am »

Given how Music can corrupt the minds of just about Anyone in this game... I can understand why they meet it with force.

Heck some people shoot at you for just Spraypainting.
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SniHjen

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Re: But...I just wanted to play you a song!
« Reply #14 on: July 31, 2009, 03:10:54 am »

How about police always initiate (first encounter) with a verbal command?

"Stop doing X or we will Y!"
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