Let me tell you the sad story of 'Anvilface' Oddomaval, the metalcrafter.
'AnvilFace' Oddomval was a woman of particularly homely aspect, even (especially) for a dwarf. It was sometimes joked that she once escaped punishment at the hands of the Hammerer, who upon seeing her face, mistakenly believed someone else had already done the job.
Despite the fact that she worked hard, 'Anvilface' Oddomval had no friends.
At least AnvilFace Oddomval had three nasty brutish dogs to keep her company, but they weren't much company. Even the children of the fortress would hardly speak with her except in passing.
But it is often spoken of in dwarven places, that the wretched, the miserable, the mad, will often bring about their own salvation. And so it was, as a Mood came upon her, one mid-spring day!
Her deity Luskal did speak into her mind: "No, take not the lesser, base metals. Take unto thee the aluminium, and the platinum."
And she did Bitch, and say "The platinum is too heavy, I shall take the aluminium."
And so she did. Then she took upon herself some blocks.
And her god Luskal did speak to her and say "No dammit don't take the shitty stone ones take the metal blocks." but she did Bitch and the god Luskal didn't really want to argue since she already had the Aluminium.
And she took unto her stone and rock and wood and shell, and did claim a metalsmith shop for her own.
And lo, the people were sorely Put Out, for there had been forbidden to them all many metals of utility, not least of which were Charcoal and Copper, by which they had been making many coins Luskal, thankyouverymuch.
But she did work, and work! Through Luskal, she saw the way to become popular! To have her nickname forgotten, and her homeliness ignored!
She would make herself popular.And she knew none more popular in all the fortress than the Mayor. Why, everyone always went to the mayor! Mostly to yell, but at least they were talking to him!
Why couldn't it be her, they spoke to?! Why not her?!
She knew.
It was the mayor's chain.But she would forge a better chain.
She would steal his power.And so she Worked! In the name of Luskal and all Dwarvenkind, she Worked!
And wrought, and labored!
Overhead, a great Goblin Siege did arise, but she was so frenzied in her work, none dared to call her to her duties!
And as the battle seemed at it's most grim and dark, as the vile shadow hordes did descend upon the fortress... a shout, great and mighty, did echo through the emptied halls!
In her great Vanity, she had created a chain. So none would ever forget her! She named it for herself! And lo!
Such daring! Such audacity! But even Luskal did not strike her down. Truly, truly, the gods themselves had chosen her, with such inspiration!
And as the battle overhead raged on, word spread, from parapet to fortification, whispered, and then cried out, as she emerged, bearing the new chain upon HER chest! How it glittered! How it shone! How it drew every awed, envious eye to her!
"MY PEOPLE!" she cried. "HAVE ME AS YOUR MAYOR!"
And they stared, at her in her vanity and madness, and stared, and marvelled, and whispered, and finally shouted back, in unison: "YEAH, OKAY! YOU'VE GOT THE BETTER CHAIN, YOU'RE MAYOR NOW!"
And beaming with a steely pride, she gazed out over the battlefield, the vile forces of darkness who had arranged themselves below, and reached down, to pet her most favorite pup.
And her words, did echo into dwarven history, for all time...
"Release the hounds."
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Game events summary:
A Dwarf who had been previously nicknamed "Anvilface", created an artifact.
She named the artifact after herself(!), including her own nickname.
She was very shortly thereafter named Mayor despite having no significant social skills.
The fortress megaproject of breeding 3 war dogs for every dwarf has proved successful, in combination with traps, of providing huge levels of defense and meatshield against sieges.
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Topic: The Tale of Anvilface, Mayor of Seizegloves (Read 1515 times)