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Author Topic: RAW travesties and Cyberbrains: Oh hey, this thread exists  (Read 266761 times)

Dunamisdeos

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Re: RAW travesties: Where history is awesome.
« Reply #1320 on: June 24, 2016, 12:54:19 pm »

Spock II: The Pictureday Spock IIIII: Trek III: Trek II: Trek: The New Voyaga
A commentary on Hollywood's overreliance on sequels?

I liked how Voyager was spelled with a Boston accent.
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FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
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Loam

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Re: RAW travesties: Where history is awesome.
« Reply #1321 on: June 24, 2016, 09:33:29 pm »

Excerpts from the lost Star Trek: The Original Series episode "Half a Maneuver":

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

From "Sins of Evil":

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And from "A Private!":

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(Travestified transcriptions of TOS episodes. The episode titles are travesties as well.)
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Thob Goes to the Surface (Adventure Mode story, in progress)

ZM5

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Re: RAW travesties: Where history is awesome.
« Reply #1322 on: June 25, 2016, 03:19:20 am »

KIRK: What is it? Where's Doctor McCoy.
SCOTT: (opening box with angry animal in it) I'll grab him.
Dying,
SCOTT [OC]: He's peaceful enough to destroy us all.
dying,
KIRK: You can be helped. But if you killed him, you murderer! You murderer! You murderer! You murderer! You murderer! You murderer!
dead.

Anyway, a few lost poems from some modern-day Shakespeares. This is Cannibal Corpse's "Rancid Amputated Neck".

Torsos hang from head to clot
Ripping through bone
Nerves are quivering to drink
Feel my mouth
I look at your pus develop
My muscles injected
Slit from head to drink
Vessels explode as I feed on fright
I will swallow your spine, smashing through their own intestines
Raped by some veins
I will swallow your own rectal slice through the rush
I slice through the blade of my mouth
Dying through bone
Suffering in my hell, I feel my hell, I feed of life on frighten as I rip
Feel the limbless cadaver

Devourment - Abominate Floor.

Ravaged and butchered, lifeless and murdered, torn limb from limb
Hunger take my fall before the lifeless and cold
Thirsty beast stands before the bloodthirsty beast act of
Mine, I'll choke on my cock as I stab

Gallons of blood, spilling, cold
Now I will take my
Life, the agony
Dead, I will spray, spilled to pieces

The suffering the floor
Dead, I will chop off the dead
To fornicate the flesh is hacked the death
Dead, I will spray til I'm no more
Torture me
Gallons of me
I write into nothing
Dead, I will spray til I feel release
The suffering murdered, soon the bloodbath ensues are ravaged and cold
Now I will carve my cock as I stand before the floor
A murdered, spilling, cold
Now I will choke on my face into nothing dormant
Dead, I will spray, spilled on my own death

Mastodon - Blood & Crack.

Split your backs and crack you see the fight in the sky
Aim directly for this fish to the sun

White whale
Break your lungs with blood & Thunder

I think that propels me
I am commands me
Harpoons thrust in the eye

What remorseless emperor commands me
The fight for his ivory leg is what someone is trying to kill me
The fight to the sun

White white white white what someone is whale - holy grail

This ivory leg is trying my mind
No man of the eye

Blood and crack your lungs with blood and destroying my soul
I am completely immersed in the what someone is a fight to prevail

This ivory leg is whale
Break your backs and crack your backs and destroying my body away from the death
I no longer govern my blood and thunder

If you wish to kill me
Aim directly for this ivory leg is what remorseless emperor commands men
I think that propels me
Infecting my blood and thunder
When your backs and thunder

White white whale
Break you wish to prevail
This fish is what propels me

Dunamisdeos

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Re: RAW travesties: Where history is awesome.
« Reply #1323 on: June 25, 2016, 10:16:43 am »

Oh my god those Star Trek scripts are amazing. I cried.

EDIT::
I did the TNG episode "The Naked Now". It resulted in some... truly bizzare innuendo scenes. I marked that one, just in case. I edited the format to make it readable.

Spoiler: THE NAKED NOW (click to show/hide)

« Last Edit: June 25, 2016, 01:33:36 pm by Dunamisdeos »
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

BFEL

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Re: RAW travesties: Where history is awesome.
« Reply #1324 on: June 27, 2016, 06:06:59 am »

'
PICARD'S COM VOICE: Picard, Riker. Commander Riker. Commanding from Engineering the beam eyes.
RIKER'S COM VOICE: This works.
COMMANDING FROM ENGINEERING THE BEAM EYES
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7/10 Has much more memorable sigs but casts them to the realm of sigtexts.

Indeed, I do this.

Loam

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1325 on: July 06, 2016, 12:09:48 pm »

Quote
PICARD: (interrupting) On duty off clothes.
For some reason I can totally see Picard saying this.

Anyway, more lost episodes. These are from "Return of Age":

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And these from "Wink of Force":

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1326 on: July 06, 2016, 02:16:47 pm »

My favorite:

SPOCK: Captain!
(He gets knocked out.)
KIRK: I can't understandings.
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Khym Chanur

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1327 on: July 07, 2016, 10:35:20 am »

Quote
COMMANDER: Activate the attacking.

ENSIGN: Attacking activated, sir!
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ZM5

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1328 on: July 07, 2016, 01:01:47 pm »

Finally, she hands Kirk a skull and he smashes it over Spock's recommendation.
Thats...kinda dark.

Dunamisdeos

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1329 on: July 08, 2016, 05:05:56 pm »

Finally, she hands Kirk a skull and he smashes it over Spock's recommendation.
Thats...kinda dark.

This is how I picture this scene, because I had hamburgers for food time today.

KIRK: So like, I'm not sure what to have for lunch today. I was thinking of a burger.
SPOCK: This soup is good. You should try this vegetable soup.
KIRK: Mmhm. Mmm. Mmmhmm. Yes. (Shuffles over to Spock's table)

*smashes comically giant skull over Spock's soup, sending it flying everywhere*

KIRK: Clean this mess up, maintenance. Then get me a burger.

---
EDIT: Also, in this scene, Sarek beatboxes a lullaby.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: July 09, 2016, 02:13:15 pm by Dunamisdeos »
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Eric Blank

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1330 on: July 09, 2016, 06:18:08 pm »

...and the soup woman declares "soup."

It is perfect
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1331 on: July 09, 2016, 06:50:07 pm »

...and the soup woman declares "soup."

It is perfect

I posted the bit about skull smashing before the travestifacator genned soup woman, so it is super extra good.
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

TheBiggerFish

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1332 on: July 10, 2016, 11:00:08 am »

What

What is this

This is glorious
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Amperzand

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1333 on: July 12, 2016, 02:40:39 am »

Fish were you not yet aware of this thread?

How could such a thing be?
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Muh FG--OOC Thread
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Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com

Max™

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Re: RAW travesties: "DATA: Specifics, sir."
« Reply #1334 on: July 18, 2016, 08:22:31 am »

These are so hilarious I am always inspired to make more. :D

[TSU_NOUN:eye spine] The art of war involves stabbing the enemy with your eyes.

[PREFSTRING:tubers unknown for vampires Is garlic a tuber?

[STATE_NAME:LIQUID:beet woman] There is nothing funny about vegetable-spousal abuse.

[ATTACK_VERB:snatchling a honey badger man:gazelle work is not a radish fry] Honey badger man IS a radish fry though.

[STATE_NAME:pineapple wings] Ah yes, solid, liquid, gas, pineapple wings.

[BODYPART_BARN] Oh fuck, that's a bad sign if you need a barn to store them all.

[EDIBLE_RESPONSE] [RESPONSE MISSING DUE TO DELICIOUSNESS]

[MILKABLE_TEMPERATICIAN] God I hope temperaticians are female.

[ITEM_PRESS_NECKS:BASHFUL:-50:FACET:BRAINER] Ah yes, the Non-Bashful Neckpress Brainer, it's their mating season.

[DISPLAYABLE_CHIN:0] How do you hide a chin? Does it retract? Is this just a fancy term for a scarf?

[MAX_TENT:3000-16000 from flour] Max no want flour kilo-tents.

[NAME insidious natural opal:STP:OVERWRITE:BLIZZARD] Ah, the sequel to Overwatch, Overwatch 2: Insidious Natural Opal.

[USE_AND_HOLE_KEYBOARD, SHRINE] I just got a mechanical keyboard, it's nice but not quite shrine or screw level nice.

[TUNIC:EAT_BODIES] Setting aside what an awful idea this is, it seems like the bodypart barn guy could use these.

[NAME:acorn in a leaf slurry] Favorite drink of squirrel-people everywhere.

[OBJECTED_BEARD_RACEFUL:64000:200] That's absurd, beards are awesome, racism is not awesome, therefore beards aren't racist, checkmate!

[USE_BOTTOM_LAY_STRETCH:4] *titters furiously*

[IGNITE:DRINK] Ah, a frosty cool mug of OH GOD MY EYES ARE BOILING!

[ADJ:LIQUID, VIBRATES_ANIMAL_DISSECTOR] Well, yeah, if you vibrate anything fast enough it will liquefy.

[NAME:CROCODILE_GLOB] Crocodile Dundee's less catchily named and somewhat slow cousin.

[ALCOHOL_DEPENDEC_FOUND] Raising the question "who lost an alcohol dependec?" and what a dependec is?

[SYN_IDENT, WAVERINGINEER] The weresurfer bites you, passing on the weresurfer curse!

[VAMPIRE_STYLE_UNCONSCIOUS] Well, yeah, they gotta be knocked out before you can feed.

[OUTDOOR_GAR_LONGE_BODY_HAIR_FUN:UNTHINKABLE] You are correct, there is nothing fun about hairy gar.

[GEM_PANTS] Which gem? Steven? I don't think any of the others actually wear pants, do they?

[SOUNDER_MELTING_CIVILIZARD:HUMAN] The lizard people are slipping, to let their presence known by deploying the sonic melting rays in public!

[BIOME:ANALYTICALITY:NOSER] Full admision: I didn't read past the first 4 letters of the second word before I broke down giggling.

[SPECIALATTACK_ENEMIES] [SPECIALATTACK_FRIENDS]

[VALUES_AIR, BAG_ON_KILL] Great, another recall notice.

And finally:
[APP_MODIFIED_IF_NO_CLOWN] [APP_HORRIFIED_IF_CLOWN]
Late reply, but I hadn't checked the thread in a while dammit!
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