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Author Topic: Apexwhips - Convicts at large  (Read 23179 times)

The_Fool76

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Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« on: September 19, 2009, 12:36:52 am »

For those of you who haven't bumped into me yet, a small introduction:
Been playing DF for about two years and lurking on the forums for almost that long.  Only recently started posting.

So anyway, I was reading through some of the story forts when a strange thing happened.
TF76 has been possesed!
TF76 claims a word-processor.

Yup, that's right.  In true DF fashion I have decided to try my hand at one of these here story forts.  I'm hoping it will end in a legendary story, but we all know it's much more likely that I'm going to wind up distressing my fiance by ripping off my clothing and repeatedly jumping out the first floor window because I just didn't get the right adjective in time.  Either way, it should be entertaining.  ;)

The basic premise (in game terms) is that I've got seven skill-free dwarves embarking with nothing but six axes in a forested area.  I have claimed all of the embarking dwarves for my story, but once I have an immigrant wave, those will be up for adoption.  I have two rules for folks wanting to claim a dwarf.  First off, all nobles are mine.  Secondly, you need to give me some reason your dwarf is laying low or avoiding main dwarven society.  (The reasons for this will become clear.)

Anyway, enough boring chatter.  On with the story!

Index
Chapter 1 - Escape!
Chapter 2 - Strike the Earth Trees
Chapter 3 - When Slugs Attack!
Chapter 4 - Fun in the Sun
Chapter 5 - Rain Rain go Away
Chapter 6 - Romance, and Rain, are in the Air
Chapter 7 - We've Been Spotted!
Chapter 8 - To the Rescue!
Chapter 9 - A Gamble
Chapter 10 - You can Pick your Friends and you can Pick your Nose but...
Chapter 11 - Invader!
Chapter 12 - Letter of DOOM
Chapter 13 - Slaughter and Butchery
Chapter 14 - Staving off the Boredom of Winter
Chapter 15 - Escargot, Yum!
Chapter 16 - Invasion of the Tree Huggers
Chapter 17 - Well What do you Know?
Chapter 18 - Comic Kobold Relief
Chapter 19 - Pardon me but do you Have any Axes?
Chapter 20 - And another one Joins the Fort
Chapter 21 - Fiesta in the Fortress
Chapter 22 - You Snooze, You Loose?
Chapter 23 - The Humans are coming! The Humans are coming!
Chapter 24 - Take your Pick
Chapter 25 - My Area is Moist

Character Bios
Mandy, Jarvous, and Akigagak
« Last Edit: October 14, 2009, 06:16:44 pm by The_Fool76 »
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2009, 12:39:50 am »

Escape!

It took some doing but they had finally seen their plan through. Mandy and her band of six fellow convicts, Art, Gear, Skuz, Vulk, Loki and Brick, did what no other dwarf had done before. They had escaped from Axegrind the dreaded prison mine of the dwarf kingdom of The Carnal Oar. Now here they were, riding Armok bent through the dense forest, trying to put as much distance as they could between themselves and Mad Queen Zon's happy little prison. Those names were not their real names of course. They were all hoping to make it to make it to one of the neighboring Dwarf civilizations and start new lives under new names.

Suddenly there was a loud crack and the cart lurched to a halt. They piled out of it to see what was wrong. A quck look at the wheels confirmed their worst fears, one of the wooden wheels had snapped clean in two after hitting a particularly gnarled root. The only thing the cart was good for now was as a source of scrap wood.


(Embark Photo – Dwarf names are color coded based on gender.)


"Well Cheif," said Skuz, "Looks like we are stuck here. Now what?"

Mandy eyed the broken cart and then looked around the woods speculatively. "These woods are pretty thick and we have been traveling for almost a full day. We could probably just put up a camp here for a bit till the hunt for us blows over." she replied. "What all is in that cart we borrowed?"

Gear took a look inside the cart, "Just this one crate marked 'Guard Supplies.'"

"What's in it?" asked Art.

"One way to find out." replied Vulk as he shoved the crate off the cart onto the root that had claimed their wagon wheel. It shatterd with a crunch and a clang as a pile of six steel axes clattered onto the ground.

Brick whislted, "We made off with a small fortune. This is great!"

Menwhile Loki just groaned. "You idiot, we are stuck out here in the middle of the woods with nothing but AXES to eat or drink."

The dwarves all took a moment to let the full impact of her words sink in.

"NO BOOZE!" They all cried out horrified.
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2009, 01:02:00 pm »

Strike the Earth Trees

After the initial panic from the lack of booze wore off, Mandy manged to restore order to her small band. “Look, I know this seems like the most horrible situation imaginable. Here we are stuck in the woods, without a single barrel of booze or even a single pick to dig a decent hole with, but at least we are free!”

“No pick?” asked Gear growing pale. “You mean I have to sleep... outside? Again? Nooooo!”
Mandy smacked Gear. “Now cut that out. We are Dwarves dammit! And not just any Dwarves, we escaped Axegrind! We can do this. I am sure I saw a few berries and whatnot around and we have more than enough trees and a pile of axes. It may mean living like an Elf but it's better than dying of exhaustion while chipping out microcline for some noble's fetish collection.” The Dwarves all looked at each other for a moment before nodding. “Good, now I want Art and Gear, since your so worried about sleeping outside, to grab some of these axes and help me clear some space. While we are doing that the rest of you will see what we can find to eat and brew in this place.”
A short while later, they had accumulated a small pile of plants and lumber. Mandy looked at their meager harvest with longing for the raw plump helmets that were the standard fare at the prison. Sure she was so tired of plump helmet that just seeing a mushroom made her wince, but at least it was Dwarven food. Prickle berries were something Elves ate. She sighed, oh well, it was what they had and at least they could brew it into something more palatable. With that in mind, she gathered up some of the lumber and starting working on a still.

“What are you working on over there?” asked Gear as she felled another tree.
“A still so we can turn some of these weeds into something worth putting in our mouths.” replied Mandy.

“Er, aren't you forgetting something?” Gear queried.

“What?” snapped Mandy feeling a little annoyed. “If I don't get this done soon then we are all going to be drinking water and I don't think any of us wants that.”

“Barrels! What good is a still without something to put the booze in?” Gear snapped back.

Mandy blinked a few times. “Right, well I suggest you do something about that then, and make us some beds while your at it Miss Smarty Britches.”

Gear muttered to herself as she started on the workshop. She was already unhappy about the thought of spending another night sleeping on the ground under the stars. She didn't mind being outside while she was working, enjoyed it actually, but sleeping with no roof to keep your dream self from floating off int to the void? Gear shuddered at the thought. At least at the prison they were chained to the ground at night, here they would have no such protection!

Meanwhile Mandy finished making the still just as Art wandered over to lean next to the wagon while looking at the new wooden still. “Boy, cutting wood sure is thirsty work. Got any booze brewed up in that still of yours Mandy?”

“No!” snapped Mandy. “Does it look like I have any? Do you SEE any nicely warmed barrels of dwarven beer just waiting to dunk your head in?”
“Uh no...” replied Art.

“Then I suggest you go dunk your head into that pond over there if you want a drink and since you seem to be done cutting down those trees you can help me make some kind of shack so we don't have to sleep on the dirt.” ordered Mandy.

Art eyed the pond, dabbed some sweat off his brow with the end of his beard and then grabbed some logs to help Mandy with her construction. He might have been thirsty but he wasn't thirsty enough to drink water. Not yet anyway.

About the time that they were finishing up the walls to the small shack Gear wandered over and started helping out. “What are you doing over here? Aren't you supposed to be making us some barrels?” asked Mandy.

Gear just gestured to the small storage area she had marked out with some twigs next to the workshops where three brand new empty barrels now rested.

“Well why didn't you say so? I'm almost thirsty enough to drink water!” Mandy said as she banged a log into place and ran over to drag a barrel and some plants to the still. After a while, and much cursing, Mandy finally managed to produce a barrel of Longland Beer. In a much shorter time than it took to brew it, the beer was gone. Mandy sighed contentedly, wrung the last of the beer out of her beard, and started in on something for the rest of the crew. Once everyone had gotten a proper drink, they all went back to work.

Unfortunately, they were not able to finish the hovel before the events of the last couple days caught up to them and exhaustion took over. Poor Gear wound up crawling under the wagon before passing out in the mud while the rest of them just fell over where they stood when the Sanddwarf came knocking. Once everyone was up and on their feet again they made decent progress, considering that not one of them had any real skills after spending most of their younger years locked in a prison mine hauling stone. It wasn't too much longer before they had a small wooden hovel packed with beds. Not the greatest sleeping arrangement, but still better than what they had gotten back at the prison. At least now they had real beds instead of just soft mud.

Art had decided he wanted to try his hand at cooking so he put together a kitchen and made some biscuts out of the booze that Mandy was producing. Mandy tried one of them and nearly got sick all over the food stockpile they had set up and were in the process of putting a wall around. “What in the name of Armok did you do to this poor wine? I mean I know it wasn't that great to begin with but this tastes like you just mixed some dirt into it, rolled it into a ball and then let it dry in the sun.”

Art had the decency to look a bit sheepish. “Well...” he started.

“No, don't tell me. I really don't want to know I was right. Look just boil it down next time. This sludge I'm making is thick enough that you really shouldn't have to put anything else in it. I'd tell you to give up and just go help build the wall but I don't think any of us wants to go back to eating raw food so you will just have to get better.” said Mandy. She then walked back to her still and stared on the next batch of booze.


(The hovel is finished! No more sleeping under the stars.)
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2009, 04:00:10 pm »

I have had my first immigrant wave!

Amusingly it was just one lone bone carver who arrived at the end of autumn. First time I have ever had such an early and small immigrant wave. I'm also going to be having this poor dwarf handling butchering, tanning, and leather working for the time being.  So if anyone wants this poor lone guy (male dwarf), let me know.

I should probably also let you all know that I am actually up to chapter 11 in the story so far, I like having a nice buffer so I'm going to be doling out the updates as I get new chapters done rather than dumping them all on you in a flood.  This way if I am unable to play for a bit I should still be able to update fairly regularly.

Remember, if you do want to claim a dwarf, they need a reason to hide from society.  It could be something as simple as the Mayor mandated the production of Glass Slippers in a sand free fort and you got blamed, or it could be something truly deranged like loving elves so much that you were caught making out with one behind the trade depot.   If you want your dark secret to remain such, as a possible fun plot point to be brought out later, feel free to PM me the details.

Next story post will appear as soon as I get this lone bone carver claimed.
[edit]Thanks Jervous!  I feel I should warn you it might be a bit before you show up, but rest assured you will show up.  *runs off to write up chapter 12 to make SURE of that*
« Last Edit: September 19, 2009, 04:19:20 pm by The_Fool76 »
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Jervous

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2009, 04:07:56 pm »

I'll claim him. Call him Jarvous. I'll PM you his secrets.
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2009, 04:16:40 pm »

When Slugs Attack!

Mandy was stirring a fresh barrel of river spirits when she heard a shout to the south west. Brick soon came running up waving her arms and shrieking. “Slug Men Things!” Mandy grabbed the hysterical dwarf and slapped her across the face with the wet end of her beard that had been hanging down into the barrel of spirits. Between the shock of getting smacked in the face with a wet beard and licking the booze off her face, Brick calmed down. “I was hauling some strawberries that I had found back to the camp here when I saw this horrible giant slug with arms oozing along near me.” she explained.

“Ah a Slugman.” said Loki who had wandered over, along with most of the other dwarves, to see what the fuss was about.

“Slugmen?” asked Mandy.

“Yea, great big slugs with arms. We had some near where I grew up.” replied Loki.

“Are they dangerous?” inquired Mandy.

“Only in groups. They are too stupid to use weapons and well they are basically just really big slugs. Our war dogs loved chasing them around the chasm.” said Loki.

“You had war dogs?” asked Skuz, “In the fort I'm from the only people who were allowed war dogs were the nobles.”

“Er, well I mean the war dogs that were in the fort. They were not MY war dogs. Anyway, someone should probably go deal with them since they will go after dwarves.” replied Loki.

“Allright, I'll go sort these slugs out and while I'm doing that I want some of the rest of you to start work on some farms. “ said Mandy hoisting her axe to her shoulder.

“Farms? I didn't think we were going to be here that long.” said Brick frowning.

“Looks like Brick just volunteered to do the planting. The truth is that while our great escape might have been amazing, I have come to realize it was also a bit stupid. If we hadn't broken down when we did, we all might have starved or died of thirst in the middle of a desert. We had no supplies with us and no real idea of where we were going exactly. I don't want to set out again until I am sure we have more than enough supplies to last us and that means farms.” stated Mandy.

“Sounds reasonable enough to me.” said Vulk with a bit of a smirk. “Now go mash those slugs while Brick here plants us some nice crops. I'd like a nice patch of strawberries if you would be so kind Brick?

Brick scowled at Vulk, stalked off and started kicking furrows in the ground with her boots. Mandy watched her for a moment, “Ok back to work all of you, I'll be back in a bit.” she said and turned towards where Brick said she had spotted the Slugmen.

A short walk later Mandy came upon the three Slugmen. They were truly ugly leaving big trails of slime behind them in the woods. One of them spotted her, and her axe, heading it's way and made a feeble attempt to slither off before she caught up to it. She smacked it with the broadside of her axe, knocking it back and stunning it, while she went for one of it's companions. After a short jog, she caught up to the next one and sliced it's arm off before separating it's upper body from the rest of it.

The first one she had smacked with her axe had recoverd and started moving towards the camp so she turned around and chased it down, removing it's head with a swipe of her axe. Unfortunately, this gave the third one enough time to slither off into the woods and vanish. Mandy was not terribly happy about letting it escape but was rather pleased with how easily she had dispatched the other two. She had never really thought of herself as a fighter before, but now she entertained visions of herself, Mandy the Great Warrior Maid, as she walked back to the camp.


(Mandy Axeslaps a Slugman while Skuz runs like a little girl.)
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2009, 06:11:51 pm »

Fun in the Sun

After the encounter with the slugmen, life at the little camp was relatively uneventful. Through much kicking at the dirt and swearing, Brick managed to set up four small farm plots. One for Whip Vines, one for Blade Weed, one for Prickle Berry, and even one for Strawberries. She left the strawberry plot for last though. Construction on a wooden wall to keep pests, such as slugmen, out of the food stores continued at a decent pace until Art collapsed on the wagon.

Noticing him just sitting there dangling his legs off the side of the wagon and not doing anything, Mandy looked up and glared at him. “What do you think you are doing Art? That wall isn't going to finish itself.” she shouted.

“Go soak your beard. Do you realize that we have been in this muddy forest for almost a quarter of a year now? I for one am taking a break.” he shouted back.

Vulk looked up and squinted at the evil sun as it stood high in the sky. “Good grief, you are right, it is the start of summer.” he said. With that he promptly plopped down on the edge of the pond next to the cart and splashed his legs in the water.

“Not you too Vulk.” Grumbled Mandy.

“Oh let the boys be.” said Loki. “It isn't their fault that they don't have the stamina we women do.” she went on as she finished off another barrel.

“Oh sure laugh it up, but if you aren't joining us soon in this summer heat, I'll eat my own beard.” shot back Art.

“What you mean like the rest of us have been doing?” asked Vulk.

“What do you mean by that?” replied Art.

“Have you TRIED your cooking?” said Vulk.

Art just glared back at him while Mandy and Loki had to fight back a bad case of the giggles.


(Summer of 215: Mandy brews, Loki makes barrels and Vulk and Art laze about.)
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2009, 01:18:23 pm »

Rain Rain go Away

After the summer had progressed a bit, Mandy realized that if she had to look at one more barrel she was going to drop it over someone's head and brew them. It looked like Art and Vulk might have had the right idea after all. As she sat down on the cart Gear poked her head out from under it. “Oh finally decided to rest like the rest of us?”

Mandy gave a start and nearly fell off the cart. “What are you doing under there?” she asked ignoring Gear's comment.

“Taking a nap of course.” said Gear with a yawn. “Or at least I was till you plopped down and woke me up.”

Mandy just shook her head at Gear's silly fear about falling off the world if she slept or even dozed without something over her head.

“So, you got a name for this place yet?” asked Gear.

“Huh? A name?” Mandy had never really thought about giving this place a name. To her it was just simply 'The Camp.' “No, can't say that I do.” she repiled.

“Axewhips” said Gear.

“Axewhips? Why axewhips? Sounds a bit too much like Axegrind if you ask me.” said Mandy.

Gear grinned and replied, “Two reasons. First off we arrived here with nothing but a box of axes. Secondly, we whipped Axegrind so its kind of a play on words.”

“So why not Axewhipped?” asked Mandy.

Gear shrugged, “I thought it sounded too kinky.”

Mandy shook her head again. “Sure, Axewhips it is then. Congratulations you just named our new Mountainhome.” said Mandy gesturing at the small wooden hovel and crude wooden walls.

Gear stuck her tongue out at Mandy. “You don't have to get sarcastic.”

Mandy shrugged, “It isn't like it really matters anyway, we are not going to be here that long.”

Just then it started to rain. Mandy looked up at the traitorous sky and joined Gear under the cart.

“See? I'm not so crazy after all.” said Gear. “Nothing like a roof over your head to keep your beard dry.”

After the rain had gone on a bit, Mandy and Gear crawled out from under the cart and went back to work. The main reason for this was that despite Gear's claims, the cart was not exactly water proof and they figured that working was better than just sitting under the cart if they were going to be wet anyway. First thing Mandy did was to move the still inside the now completed wall around their food pile. Then she set about brewing even more booze. One could never have enough, and as brewer she got first tastes.

While Mandy was working on yet another barrel of booze Skuz wandered over to the still. “You still want us gathering plants Chief? He asked.”

Mandy looked up from her brewing, “Sure, the more we have the better we are I figure.”

“Well then we got a problem. No space for any of it. At least not in the place we have walled off right now.” Skuz replied.

Mandy looked up at the food pile and noticed that it was completely packed full. “So I see. You don't happen to know what all we have in there do you?”

Skuz shrugged, “Seeds and booze mostly I think. You have been busy Chief.”

“Why do we have seeds in there? Tell Brick to haul those over by the fields. That should clear up some space.” Mandy replied.

“Sure thing Chief.” said Skuz

Sure enough, pulling the seeds out cleared up a fair bit of space in the stockpile. Not enough though, so the next time someone came back from gathering plants Mandy stopped them.

“Hey, Vulk! I think we have enough plants now. The farm is starting to come along so we don't really need so many dwarves out gathering stuff.” she said.

“Ok, so I can just go hang out at the cart now?” asked Vulk with a hopeful expression.

Mandy scowled, “Of course not. I've been thinking, we have this food and whatnot but no way to carry it with the cart broken. So what we really need now are some bags to haul stuff in. I know I saw some rope reeds so why don't you set up a farmers workshop, a loom, and a clothiers shop and see if you can't make us some bags?”

Vulk scowled, “You want me to do all that by myself? I don't know the last thing about any of it!”

“Like any of the rest of us do. Of course I was also thinking about having someone catch some of the fish and turtles I've seen in the ponds and prepare those, if you would rather do that.” Mandy replied.

Vulk looked down at the nearest pond shuddered. “Blech, no thank you. Weaving it is.” The last thing he wanted to do was dangle his beard in the water till something bit it. Fishing was terrible for what it did to a beard. You could always tell a fisherdwarf by their ragged water-logged muddy beard.

Aside from the rain, the rest of the summer was fairly uneventful. None of them particularly liked being out in the rain, but they were all used to it by now after their time in the prison.


(Autumn of 215: Skuz and Brick snooze by the wagon, Loki works on the wall, Mandy brews some tuber beer, Vulk processes plants and Art hauls seeds. Meanwhile, unnoticed by the dwarves, a slugman creeps towards the back door.)
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2009, 06:13:12 pm »

Romance, and Rain, are in the Air

Well autumn was here, and so were they, still. Mandy was not terribly happy about being stuck in this muddy forest for half a year but at least they hadn't been found and now had a good start on some proper supplies. Given the way things were going, she doubted they would be able to finish their preparations before winter. This would mean staying till spring. That would be a whole year living here at the lovely wooden hovel of Axewhips, in the mud, and the rain. Only Elves could possibly enjoy living like this, though they would probably be horrified at what they had done to their precious trees. The thought of horrified elves cheered Mandy up a bit.

Speaking of cheer, Skuz and Loki had taken to tying small trinkets of wood in each other's beards. Didn't take a magma physicist to see what was going on there. Mandy just hoped they would keep it discreet, what with the communal living and all. She didn't want a repeat of what happened with Gear and Art. They all woke up one night to the sound of the wagon creaking loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain. When she went out with her axe to see what was causing all the racket, an inconvenient flash of lighting revealed a scene that would be forever burned into her psyche. Two dwarves, soaking wet in the pouring rain, with their beards entwined. Later on Mandy found out that Gear had apparently been doing her usual thing of hiding under the cart while she took a small break when Art wandered over and suggested that if she was worried about floating off she could just tie her beard to his. One thing led to another and now Mandy had mental scars that would delight a Philosopher for hours.

Fortunately she had something to do that should help take her mind off her trauma. Another slugman had been spotted lurking around the north side of Axewhips. Mandy crept around the corner and spotted the disgusting thing slithering along the wall. She gave a shout and charged. The slugman gave a start, it's eystalks twining around each other in distress, as it turned and tired to escape. Unfortunately for it, slugs are not exactly built for speed and Mandy soon caught up to it. With a shout she embedded her axe firmly in it's torso. So firmly in fact that she was unable to pry it loose. Of course the slime from the slugman wasn't helping matters any. She beat on the slugman with her fists for a bit, badly injuring it's right arm, before finally just strangling the creature. Wiping her hands against her clothing in disgust she went back to get a new, non-slimed, axe before resuming her brewing and once again daydreaming of Mandy the Warrior Maid. Yup, nothing like a little blood and booze to make one feel better.

Of course her good cheer was cut short by Loki, sporting yet another bit of wood in her beard. “We need some chairs.” said Loki.

“Chairs? Why chairs?” asked Mandy.

“I'm tired of eating standing up and I'm sure I'm not the only one.” Loki answered.

Now that she thought about it, Mandy realized that she was also a bit sick of eating on her feet. “Yes, some chairs would be nice, and some tables to go with them. I suggest starting on those right now actually.”

“Me? Why me?” protested Loki.

“Well you have been doing such a nice job on these barrels, how much harder could chairs and tables be?” responded Mandy “You seem to have picked up a little skill with woodworking and I'd rather we have them sooner than later, and with the correct number of legs.”

Loki sighed, “Yes Chief.”
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Wimdit

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2009, 06:41:53 pm »

I'm just wondering why nobody has posted here with generic praise yet. Keep up the good work, Fool.

*Generic praise*
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Grendus

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2009, 09:37:22 pm »

*generic praise*

*generic statement hoping the next update comes soon*

*not so generic adding this thread to bookmarks*
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A quick guide to surviving your first few days in CataclysmDDA:
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2009, 12:33:39 pm »

*generic thanks for generic praise*
*generic update*

;)
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The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2009, 12:37:19 pm »

We've Been Spotted!

Loki went out to drag another log back so she could get to work on one of the doors they were going to need for the new dining room. Thankfully it had stopped raining a while ago, she was tired of having a soggy beard. She had finished the tables and chairs and the pair of doors were the last things on her list. After that it was back to working on barrels. She whistled to herself as she fingered the latest addition to her beard. Once they got out of this place and actually got to a real fort Art could probably get a job as a wood crafter and they could start thinking about a family. She found a suitable looking log and had just started dragging it back to the camp when an unfamiliar holler jolted her out of her reverie. She looked up and saw a dwarf dressed in official robes waving his arm at her. Letting out a small squeak she dropped her log and ran back to the camp in a panic.

“WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED!” she yelled as she burst into the camp, nearly knocking Mandy into her latest barrel of beer as she grabbed Mandy's arm.

“What? Calm down! What's going on?” Asked Mandy.

Loki continued to yell, “THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE US BACK! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK! I THOUGHT WE WE- *sploosh!* GLUB! Blurb! Bleble.”

Mandy pulled the hysterical dwarf's head back out of the barrel. “Now do you think you can tell us what is going on?”

Loki wrung the last drops of beer out of the end of her beard and into her mouth before speaking. “A dwarf in official robes is here! I saw her while hauling some wood back to work on.”

Mandy was silent for a moment before speaking to the dwaves who had all come to see what Loki was yelling about. “Loki, you come with me and show me where you saw this official looking dwarf. While I'm having a look to see what we are up against, I want the rest of you to all grab an axe. I'd sooner shake hands with Armok than go back to Axegrinds. If this dwarf looks like trouble, well there are plenty of places we can hide a body in these woods.”

Several of the dwaves looked a bit pale at this idea. “You are not seriously thinking of killing her are you?” asked Art.

Mandy fingered her axe handle and glared at him. “Do you want to go back there? Back to the endless hauling just because some fool noble decided that YOU were the reason he didn't have a solid gold idol for his kid?”

Art gulped, “No... But... “

“No buts! Besides, maybe she is just lost or something. I'm not going to do anything unless I have to.” Mandy said. “Besides, if this dwarf isn't alone and does have guards with her, they might not be interested in actually taking us back alive. Now we have wasted enough time as it is, come on Loki.” Mandy grabbed Loki by the arm and pulled her out the door and off through the woods. A short bit later the two were followed by the rest of the group at a safe distance.

Meanwhile, the Dwarf Liaison Athel Cattenolil and Trader Solon sat looking out into the woods. “What do you think that was all about?” asked Athel. “She just turned and ran the moment I yelled hello.”

“Oh probly jus awent ta fetc thar heid dwrf.” Drawled Solon. Athel winced, Solon was from a distant part of the kingdom and her accent was neigh unintelligible. Athel suspected that part of her trading success was simply due to the fact that most dwarves just couldn't understand her. Of course Athel also suspected that Solon cultivated his thick accent for that very reason. “Still seems kind of odd if you ask me. She looked like she was terrified to see me.” Athel commented while they waited to see if anyone else showed up.

“Curse tha culd av bin caus o him n not yerself.” Solon commented gesturing towards the trees behind Athel.

Athel turned around to see and gave a yelp as he spotted a pair of eyestalks peering around either side of a tree. “By Armok's bloody beard! What is that?” she shouted as she ran over next to Solon and away from the … whatever it was.

“Jus a Slugman. Not much ta wurry bout. Ta stupd ta trade wid tho.” Solon drawled with a grin.

Just then another pair of eyes, poked out from behind a tree. “Well I think that lass had the right idea.” said Athel as she lifted the end of her robes and ran off in the direction the one dwarf had taken.

“Bah, tha why we ave tha gards ya elf.” muttered Solon as she watched the Liaison make a fool of herself.


(The Dwarf Liaison Athel Cattenolil and the Trader Solon debate the wisdom of trading with one of the local slugmen.)
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Tis far better to be a witty fool than a foolish wit.

Soviet Travolta

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2009, 04:40:08 pm »

Good story so far! I liked how you managed to make the usual "embark and strike the earth thing" feel fresh with that convict story. Quite good also how you kept a simple and clear writing.

A few details i noted while reading your pieces: when you mention time (they realise it's summer), i hadn't felt time passing since the beginning of the story so i was rather surprised. Of course it's a DF thing, but hints of the time passing, landscape and weather changing, state of mind of the character would help feeling the time. Dialogs are fine and well, but at times i felt them lenghty due to small amount of new/relevant information, such as the bit about food stockpile and need to make bags. I understand how it relates to DF mechanics, but maybe sometimes, you could choose to shorten or remove bits of the "game thing" to make the reading more concentrated.

I hope you dont feel like i'm pontificating, those are just thoughts i had while reading you. I will be eager for new development as im fond of your idea of having convicts trying to make thir mark. It's especially good when you twist the common game events into something new: the embark site chosen by the wagon wheel breaking off, the trade liaison they take for someone on their track. Play on your strenghs! :)
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I propose a truly dorfy solution: toady should implement a special helmet that (mostly) protects against fall damage, so that the toughest dwarves of the fortress can take the 10-z level jump down, pick and axe in hand, and construct stairs back up to the upper levels.

The_Fool76

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Re: Apexwhips - Convicts at large
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2009, 08:48:11 pm »

Good story so far! I liked how you managed to make the usual "embark and strike the earth thing" feel fresh with that convict story. Quite good also how you kept a simple and clear writing.

A few details i noted while reading your pieces: when you mention time (they realise it's summer), i hadn't felt time passing since the beginning of the story so i was rather surprised. Of course it's a DF thing, but hints of the time passing, landscape and weather changing, state of mind of the character would help feeling the time. Dialogs are fine and well, but at times i felt them lenghty due to small amount of new/relevant information, such as the bit about food stockpile and need to make bags. I understand how it relates to DF mechanics, but maybe sometimes, you could choose to shorten or remove bits of the "game thing" to make the reading more concentrated.

I hope you dont feel like i'm pontificating, those are just thoughts i had while reading you. I will be eager for new development as im fond of your idea of having convicts trying to make thir mark. It's especially good when you twist the common game events into something new: the embark site chosen by the wagon wheel breaking off, the trade liaison they take for someone on their track. Play on your strenghs! :)
Thanks for the constructive criticism.  :)

Yea, I could probably do a better job of making it feel like more time has passed.  Referencing the leaves changing colors for example.  Which just now occurred to me. Seems a bit silly in retrospect to have them staring at the sun instead of just going, "Oh hey look the leaves fell off the trees.  Must be winter."  Then again, they are dwarves and paying attention to trees as anything other than a source of lumber might feel too Elf like.  ;)

As for the game play elements.  I don't want to leave them out since this is a story about stuff in DF.  At the same time I don't want them to break the sense of immersion so I'm trying to make them feel like they are just part of the world these hapless dwarves inhabit.  Don't quite feel like I'm fully there yet but hopefully that will improve as I continue this. 

Thank you too for the complements.  I think you will like some of the other things I have planned. At least I hope so. :)

As a last note to everyone following this thread. It will be daily updates for the rest of the week and possibly a bit after that. Past that point, it may drop to fewer depending on RL.  I'm currently running off the buffer but I hope to be able to build that back up this weekend.
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Tis far better to be a witty fool than a foolish wit.
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