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Author Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!)  (Read 14377975 times)

BFEL

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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138450 on: August 22, 2014, 10:45:23 am »

Basically the series is the only one that ever mixed RTS and hacky slashy RPG and didn't fail miserably.
And the half clothed elves are because the only other kind of elf is a completely unclothed elf :P
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tuypo1

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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138451 on: August 22, 2014, 10:46:51 am »

Basically the series is the only one that ever mixed RTS and hacky slashy RPG and didn't fail miserably.
And the half clothed elves are because the only other kind of elf is a completely unclothed elf :P
Which is of course the best kind of elf

Because it means there's nothing in the way of your sword
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138452 on: August 22, 2014, 10:56:49 am »

I'unno... the half-clothed ones actually give you helpful targets to aim for. In a certain sense, that's even better than nothing at all -- there's stuff in the way, sure, but in exchange you get all the weak spots highlighted for you. It's nice to have an opponent that's got "stab here" effectively tattooed in all the most effective places.

Hell, that's one of the problems with well-endowed chest plates, from what I recall -- they actually make it easier to shank someone since they redirect attacks to more sensitive areas. Would that all people trying to kill you be so considerate.
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Mictlantecuhtli

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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138453 on: August 22, 2014, 11:04:55 am »

The definitive reason as to why boob-plate is a ridiculous fantasy concept.
Quote
DELBAN THE ARMORER WAS a gruff, bald man with broad shoulders, huge callused hands and a grizzled beard. He was a craftsman, an artist, and he had absolutely no respect for anyone. Ce'Nedra found him to be impossible.

"I don't make armor for women," was his initial response to her inquiry when she, accompanied by Durnik the smith, entered his workshop. He had then turned his back on her and begun pounding noisily on a sheet of glowing steel. It took the better part of an hour to convince him even to consider the idea. The heat shimmered out from his glowing forge, and the red brick walls seemed to reflect the heat and intensify it. Ce'Nedra found herself perspiring heavily. She had made some sketches of what she thought might be a suitable design for her armor. All in all, she thought it would look rather nice, but Delban laughed raucously when he saw them.

"What's so amusing?" she demanded.

"You'd be like a turtle in something like that," he replied. "You wouldn't be able to move."

"The drawings are only intended to give you a general idea," she told him, trying to keep a grip on her temper.

"Why don't you be a good girl and take these to a dressmaker?" he suggested. "I work in steel, not brocade or satin. Armor like this would be useless, and so uncomfortable that you wouldn't be able to wear it."

"Then modify it," she grated from between clenched teeth.

He glanced at her design again, then deliberately crumpled her drawings in his fist and threw them into the corner. "Foolishness," he grunted.

Ce'Nedra resisted the urge to scream. She retrieved the drawings. "What's the matter with them?" she persisted.

"Too much here." He stabbed a thick finger at the shoulder represented on the drawing. "You wouldn't be able to lift your arm. And here." He pointed at the armhole on the breastplate she had drawn. "If I make it that tight, your arms would stick straight out. You wouldn't even be able to scratch your nose. As long as we're at it, where did you get the whole notion in the first place? Do you want a mail shirt or a breastplate? You can't have both."

"Why not?"

"The weight. You wouldn't be able to carry it." 

"Make it lighter then. Can't you do that?"

Yet Delban still decides to punch some boobs into his finished piece.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2014, 11:08:41 am by Mictlantecuhtli »
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138455 on: August 22, 2014, 11:05:53 am »

I'unno... the half-clothed ones actually give you helpful targets to aim for. In a certain sense, that's even better than nothing at all -- there's stuff in the way, sure, but in exchange you get all the weak spots highlighted for you. It's nice to have an opponent that's got "stab here" effectively tattooed in all the most effective places.

Hell, that's one of the problems with well-endowed chest plates, from what I recall -- they actually make it easier to shank someone since they redirect attacks to more sensitive areas. Would that all people trying to kill you be so considerate.

So, optimally it would be inverted, with a fat-looking armor?
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138456 on: August 22, 2014, 11:07:48 am »

-Snip-
The Belgariad? Or some similar title. Ages since I've read those books.
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138457 on: August 22, 2014, 11:11:11 am »

Im having difficulty snipping Mictlantecuhtli's post on my phone so consider this a placeholder

Interesting
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138458 on: August 22, 2014, 11:11:41 am »

So, optimally it would be inverted, with a fat-looking armor?
Something like that. M'not exactly an armorer, but simple things like "don't redirect force towards the heart" is pretty obvious :P

Though yeah, from what I understand of the historic stuff, you did get kinda' chubby looking critters out of it. Want stabby/crushy things pushed away from vital points, et al.
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138459 on: August 22, 2014, 11:26:48 am »

-Snip-
The Belgariad? Or some similar title. Ages since I've read those books.

Yah, it is. Though I can't remember which book it's from.
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Mictlantecuhtli

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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138460 on: August 22, 2014, 11:28:48 am »

Also, he had to make it 'thin as a sheet' to get the desired 'boob-plate' look while being *wearable*. Completely unfunctional in any sense of the word.
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138461 on: August 22, 2014, 12:13:33 pm »

Boob-plate is sort of at the height of the scale of armor absurdity, in a strange way. Obviously the ideal would be... uh, y'know, normal, but in the other direction the chainmail bikini nonsense actually has a vague resemblance to sensible lower-cost armoring via using limited amounts of chainmail and plate or scale mail to protect vitals while making most of the armor out of lighter materials -- of course, the judgement as to what is 'vital' is obviously skewed.

Unrelated and excellent.
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BFEL

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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138462 on: August 22, 2014, 02:26:28 pm »

Spoiler: Relevant (click to show/hide)
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138463 on: August 22, 2014, 03:50:06 pm »

SOMEONE SAID I'M CUTE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

* Objective's squee breaks all glasses in nearby proximity
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Re: [╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /] BURRITOTOWN RETURNS?!?! (Happy thread!)
« Reply #138464 on: August 22, 2014, 03:53:03 pm »

* Descan paps Obj.'s face.
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