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Author Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!)  (Read 14374083 times)

TD1

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Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
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Poetry Thread

Loud Whispers

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192331 on: February 20, 2020, 04:59:27 pm »

Robert: "Son?"

Billy: "Yeah dad?"

Robert: "Son, I think it's time I talked with you about the birds and the bees and the bees and the bees and the bees and more bees..."

Beelly: "Uh, dad, I-"

Robeert: "...and the other bees bees and bees the bees bees bees"

Bee: "Bees bees bees bees?"

Bee: "Bees bees bees bees bees bees bees"
DAD: YOU SEE SON, PROCREATION IS A BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE. PLAYING FORTNITE EVERYDAY IS GENETIC HERESY. THE GREAT CHAIN OF BEING FROM OUR ANCESTORS INNUMERAL DATING BACK TO THE PRIMORDIAL OOZE WHICH SPAWNED OUR ACCURSED LINEAGE WILL NOT BE CONTINUED ON ITS DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ATAVISTIC TO THE ADAPTED BY YOU WASTING ALL OF YOUR TWITCHY-FINGER REFLEXES ON BEING THE LAST MAN STANDING ON A VIRTUAL CONFLICT. IN TRUTH, EVEN THE KING OF THE HILL WILL DIE. ONLY THROUGH A LEGACY WILL THE INFORMATION OUR ILK HAS ACCRUED BE EXPANDED, ONLY THROUGH IDLE CONSUMPTION SHALL OUR INEVITABLE DECAY INTO ENTROPY BE SECURED.

SON: BUT DAD, FORTNITE IS THE COURTSHIP RITUAL OF OUR GENERATION. DARE YOU JUDGE WHAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND? PERHAPS IN YOUR GENERATION YOUR FATHER BEFORE YOU MISJUDGED WHAT YOUR PEERS CONSIDERED COOL, AS YOU MISJUDGE ME. MY DANCES MAY SEEM SILLY AND ABUSRD, BUT PERHAPS THAT IS BECAUSE I POSSESS THE INNOCENCE OF ADOLESCENCE AND A WILLINGNESS TO BE ABSURD?

DAD: IN TRUTH, I DID NOT HAVE A FATHER. PERHAPS I HAVE OVERCOMPENSATED OUT OF AN ANXIETY TO ENSURE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER WITHOUT A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL AS I DID; IN MY OVERZEALOUSNESS TO PROVIDE YOU STRUCTURE I HAVE STIFLED YOU.

SON: I AM SORRY, I TOO OVERSTEPPED MY MARK IN BEING OVER-DEFENSIVE. OF COURSE I KNOW YOU ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR ME AND I UNDERSTAND THAT, I WAS JUST ANXIOUS BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY PLAYING A MULTIPLAYER GAME WITH MY COMRADES WHICH CANNOT BE PAUSED IN THE FACE OF THE ARROW OF TIME. THIS GAME HAS ME IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE AND IS NOT THE APPROPRIATE TIME TO BE DISCUSSING THE BIRDS OF THE BEES.

DAD: NEVERTHELESS, AT SOME POINT A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY WHICH CEASES TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SOME FORM OF REFLECTION OR REPRODUCTIVE ADVANTAGE IS IN THE END, A DEAD END. A MOMENT IN IDLENESS IS FATAL, A LIFETIME IN IDLENESS IS STERILE.

SON: SHALL MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE'S WORTH BE SUMMED UP IN THE SIZE OF MY LINEAGE? SHALL MY EXISTENCE THEN, BE JUDGED ON THE MERITS SOLELY OF EXISTENCE ITSELF? PRESUPPOSE I POSSESSED NO CONSCIOUSNESS, WOULD THEN I NOT BE AS WORTHLESS AS A MERE AMOEBA, REPRODUCING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE ITSELF?

DAD: THAT'S INCEL TALK, SON

Imic

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192332 on: February 20, 2020, 05:55:42 pm »

Your Shitpost frequency has increased of late, Loud Whispers.

The Council approves of this development.
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hector13

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192333 on: February 20, 2020, 06:19:09 pm »


DAD: IN TRUTH, I DID NOT HAVE A FATHER.

Alright, Anakin, calm down.

Also, the difference between a wi-fi and a wired connection is slightly ridiculous. It took maybe 6 hours to download 60GB on wi-fi, and less than 30 minutes to download 32GB with a wired connection.

I may be getting spoiled. I recall it taking hours to download an entire 3 minute clip of a Ren and Stimpy episode in the ‘90s.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2020, 06:56:27 pm by hector13 »
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Frumple

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192334 on: February 20, 2020, 07:17:32 pm »

I remember taking like a week to download a demo, once. Iirc it was either age of wonders or age of myths, probably the former. It was only like 250 megs or something (ah, the not missed days of that being entire harddrives...), but dial-up is both slow and inconsistent :P
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Loud Whispers

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192335 on: February 20, 2020, 07:23:38 pm »

Your Shitpost frequency has increased of late, Loud Whispers.

The Council approves of this development.
I am the senate

Egan_BW

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192336 on: February 20, 2020, 07:25:57 pm »

Not yet.
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hector13

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192337 on: February 20, 2020, 07:31:52 pm »

Your Shitpost frequency has increased of late, Loud Whispers.

The Council approves of this development.
I am the senate

Now do Jar-Jar.

Or, or...

*thinks*

Wedge Antilles!
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Loud Whispers

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192338 on: February 21, 2020, 04:35:54 am »

Meesa thinks its treason then

Iduno

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192339 on: February 21, 2020, 09:17:44 am »

DAD: YOU SEE SON, PROCREATION IS A BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE. PLAYING FORTNITE EVERYDAY IS GENETIC HERESY. THE GREAT CHAIN OF BEING FROM OUR ANCESTORS INNUMERAL DATING BACK TO THE PRIMORDIAL OOZE WHICH SPAWNED OUR ACCURSED LINEAGE WILL NOT BE CONTINUED ON ITS DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ATAVISTIC TO THE ADAPTED BY YOU WASTING ALL OF YOUR TWITCHY-FINGER REFLEXES ON BEING THE LAST MAN STANDING ON A VIRTUAL CONFLICT. IN TRUTH, EVEN THE KING OF THE HILL WILL DIE. ONLY THROUGH A LEGACY WILL THE INFORMATION OUR ILK HAS ACCRUED BE EXPANDED, ONLY THROUGH IDLE CONSUMPTION SHALL OUR INEVITABLE DECAY INTO ENTROPY BE SECURED.

SON: BUT DAD, FORTNITE IS THE COURTSHIP RITUAL OF OUR GENERATION. DARE YOU JUDGE WHAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND? PERHAPS IN YOUR GENERATION YOUR FATHER BEFORE YOU MISJUDGED WHAT YOUR PEERS CONSIDERED COOL, AS YOU MISJUDGE ME. MY DANCES MAY SEEM SILLY AND ABUSRD, BUT PERHAPS THAT IS BECAUSE I POSSESS THE INNOCENCE OF ADOLESCENCE AND A WILLINGNESS TO BE ABSURD?

DAD: IN TRUTH, I DID NOT HAVE A FATHER. PERHAPS I HAVE OVERCOMPENSATED OUT OF AN ANXIETY TO ENSURE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER WITHOUT A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL AS I DID; IN MY OVERZEALOUSNESS TO PROVIDE YOU STRUCTURE I HAVE STIFLED YOU.

SON: I AM SORRY, I TOO OVERSTEPPED MY MARK IN BEING OVER-DEFENSIVE. OF COURSE I KNOW YOU ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR ME AND I UNDERSTAND THAT, I WAS JUST ANXIOUS BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY PLAYING A MULTIPLAYER GAME WITH MY COMRADES WHICH CANNOT BE PAUSED IN THE FACE OF THE ARROW OF TIME. THIS GAME HAS ME IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE AND IS NOT THE APPROPRIATE TIME TO BE DISCUSSING THE BIRDS OF THE BEES.

DAD: NEVERTHELESS, AT SOME POINT A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY WHICH CEASES TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SOME FORM OF REFLECTION OR REPRODUCTIVE ADVANTAGE IS IN THE END, A DEAD END. A MOMENT IN IDLENESS IS FATAL, A LIFETIME IN IDLENESS IS STERILE.

SON: SHALL MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE'S WORTH BE SUMMED UP IN THE SIZE OF MY LINEAGE? SHALL MY EXISTENCE THEN, BE JUDGED ON THE MERITS SOLELY OF EXISTENCE ITSELF? PRESUPPOSE I POSSESSED NO CONSCIOUSNESS, WOULD THEN I NOT BE AS WORTHLESS AS A MERE AMOEBA, REPRODUCING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE ITSELF?

DAD: THAT'S INCEL TALK, SON

https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/American-Chopper-Argument

It doesn't fit.


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LordBaal

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192340 on: February 21, 2020, 09:34:31 am »

At school peter celebrated it's first carnival. You know, the only redeeming thing about Venezuela is the lack of all the SJW crap.

The school had a theme, Chinese. They did the best they could and dressed the school as a china town. Every kid had the homework of making one of those chinese farmer hats with paper or whatever and wear it, and most kids had their eyes painted to look asian.

They even made one of those dragons with cardboard and the kids gave it a spin around the school. L

No one cried a shit about cultural apropiation, or racism or anything. It's worth nothing that there's only a single asian kid on the whole school, and he actually had the coolest hat complete with costume and fake ponytail and mustache and all. His mom and dad weren't  the slight offended, on the contrary they were very amused by all.

The kids had a great time. Why is so hard to be tolerant and not offended on behalf of others? I imagine in most places you guys live this would be frowned upon and not a go or end up in frivolous lawsuits and such.
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My ship exploded midflight, but all the shrapnel totally landed on Alpha Centauri before anyone else did.  Bow before me world leaders!

Iduno

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192341 on: February 21, 2020, 09:44:13 am »

I think it would be better to ask the child of the heritage they're celebrating what they think the culture is, and be completely credulous about what they say. Because I bet kids can come up with some wild bullshit.

To hell with paper hats. I want to celebrate the made-up culture where everyone has to dress up like unicorns and have an eggroll eating contest to celebrate their ancestors or whatever. And then batman shows up.

I mean, they'd probably learn the same amount of we ever learned about other cultures that way.
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LordBaal

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192342 on: February 21, 2020, 10:27:26 am »

Oh there were two batmans actually (kids could put other costumes too). One Adam West like and the other Nolan trilogy style. Here you can't have a carnival without batman.
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I'm curious as to how a tank would evolve. Would it climb out of the primordial ooze wiggling it's track-nubs, feeding on smaller jeeps before crawling onto the shore having evolved proper treds?
My ship exploded midflight, but all the shrapnel totally landed on Alpha Centauri before anyone else did.  Bow before me world leaders!

Reelya

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192343 on: February 21, 2020, 11:40:32 am »

Oh there were two batmans actually (kids could put other costumes too).

That's cutural batpropriation.

Kagus

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Re: [Burg] 12 burgs a day recommended daily intake (Happy thread)
« Reply #192344 on: February 21, 2020, 11:48:51 am »

Oh there were two batmans actually (kids could put other costumes too).

That's cutural batpropriation.

Yeah, leave Turkey alone!
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