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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 4756642 times)

Ulfarr

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116460 on: September 20, 2019, 01:01:14 pm »

If I remember correctly (from the fitness thread) you were hard at work, preparing for some kind of military test right?

Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116461 on: September 20, 2019, 01:08:16 pm »

Yeah. I actually eased off into a plateau cuz I'm physically where I need to be. I'm stressed because work changed and instead of fewer hours going into winter, I'm doing like 10 to 15 hours of overtime a week and unloading ALL the trucks instead of two or three.

Plus my paperwork for the navy is in the middle of the "this is where we'd say no" approval process and I'm waiting for news about it.  On top of two babies and no sleep last night.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116462 on: September 20, 2019, 01:25:58 pm »

I just got off the phone with my own Navy Recruiter, and I've been turned down for some medical issue... nothing specific given... I'm just fucking demoralized, I was really relying on this for a better future. I was also turned down by the Air Force... Like, can't I get a fucking foot in anywhere? Just anything to give me the slightest purpose? I just have no fucking clue what to do with my life.

I've been working really hard too, harder than ever before, just because I want to finally make some headway and get somewhere. GUESS THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, SCREAMING THAT I'M WILLING TO WORK HARD AND DO ANYTHING AND IMPROVE MYSELF AND MAKE A CONTRIBUTION JUST ISN'T ENOUGH; BECAUSE OF SMALL SHIT FROM YEARS AGO JUST HELD AGAINST ME FOR FUCKING EVER LIKE I'M A CONVICT ...

Is... is this where I get fucking desperate and insane? If I'm going to get the kind of change I want in life, I'm just going to have to destroy it; as any kind of sane transition is increasingly impossible, and it's obvious the rest of the world wants it to be impossible.

I just don't know what to do.
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Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116463 on: September 20, 2019, 02:48:26 pm »

Shit Josh, that really sucks.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
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Doomblade187

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116464 on: September 20, 2019, 04:40:37 pm »

Could you get a doctor's note or something to clear the medical refusal?
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116465 on: September 20, 2019, 11:32:40 pm »

I wasn't given a clear reason, but if it wasn't for the childhood asthma, then it might have been because I blabbed about having seen a counselor, and then had to pony up my medical records regarding those, and while I don't think it was *too* vilifying, it might have given them enough of a glimpse to conclude that I'm an anxious, neurotic nutcase... Such that the reason the Air Force DQ'd me was summed up in a single word: "Unstable"
...
God that fucking digs under my skin. Like, if I could get even just a little bit of what I want out of life, I'm certain that I'd be 100% fine; but I don't, and so over the course of my difficult and joyless life I've been accumulating mental problems and suffering for it, until I was forced to reach out to a counselor for any kind of relief, and then subsequently I'm punished for it by being denied what I want out of life. Heads you win, tails I lose.

I just don't know what kind of perfect male specimen they wanted me to be; and I didn't want to lie to them by omitting knowledge of my medical history when asked; and it hurts extra bad because I'm perhaps the healthiest I've ever been, and I just can't prove it. They're not even interested in any kind of proof as far as I can see; they just see a potential red flag far off in the distance, and Madagascar shuts everything down just to be safe.

Of course, without being able to see the exact reasoning that went on behind the scenes in the military medical offices, I can't know the exact reason, but that's my best guess as to what happened; I accept that maybe I'm being bitter and angry over my own hyperbolic guesses. Who knows.

There was a caveat with the Navy Recruiter however, that I can try again "Next year when the system changes" or something to that effect, so I guess there's still hope in that department. Far off, possibly imaginary hope, but hope. Right now though, I'm trying to tabulate what my current options are, cause up to this point I've been foolishly overconfident in assuming I'd be able to join up, and so put all my eggs in one basket, and now I'm just bawling cause my basket got dropped and all my eggs are smashed. When you boil it down, my current distress and anguish is, once again, my fault. I just gotta figure out what I can do, and just keep going forward I guess.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2019, 11:57:13 pm by JoshuaFH »
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116466 on: September 21, 2019, 12:30:28 am »

No one is born ďa worthless peon and a shithead.Ē Shit happens in life, and it can easily snowball like you described. Itís nothing about you. Itís just the RNG rolled his dice and decided you were going to suffer that day. Then it snowballs, as things naturally do. Itís hard to go up against natureís snowballs. Itís in no way your fault that you didnít win against them yet or didnít anticipate the next die roll or dared to have hope. All you have to do is keep going. Every bad day has to end eventually, right? Strength to you.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2019, 12:32:04 am by bloop_bleep »
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Reelya

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116467 on: September 21, 2019, 01:37:45 am »

A lot of things are down to pure luck. I saw on a gaming TV show about this guy who got a job as an animator for a gaming company. He thought he must have submitted an awesome demo reel, later he found out his was the only application they received. This is why submitting resumes can pay off. Maybe they got 100 people applying, maybe they got nobody.

ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116468 on: September 21, 2019, 03:12:55 am »

Quote
I wasn't given a clear reason, but if it wasn't for the childhood asthma, then it might have been because I blabbed about having seen a counselor, and then had to pony up my medical records regarding those
Let me give you a hint: you don't have to mention every hangnail you ever had at occupational healthcare. Focus on stuff that's relevant because it's recent, ongoing, or chronic.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116469 on: September 21, 2019, 04:34:53 am »

Yeah, I realize that now, but I was just too damn naive and nervous; and apparently no amount of "But it was never a big deal and it's all completely resolved now" is enough to get them to believe me.
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116470 on: September 21, 2019, 04:40:13 am »

That's funny, I told the army that I suffered from depression and the doc at the health checkpoint quizzed me about it before determining that I "Wasn't really depressed", and then clearing me through.

(Anxiety + depression + army life = Bro I'm straight up not having a good time), as it were.


Then I also had a friend who got expressly denied because he'd had what was diagnosed as an epileptic seizure one time when he was 8.

Frumple

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116471 on: September 21, 2019, 07:43:51 am »

Every bad day has to end eventually, right? Strength to you.
Sadly, the bad days ending isn't actually a guarantee :-\

... not to trying undermine the rest of what you said. You keep going, et al. But... you do sorta' have to deal with the possibility that the snake eyes just never really stop rolling. Sometimes life's just kinda' shit and nothing you do or can do (or are willing to do) is going to help. You can hope for outside assistance, but there's not really anyone or anything obligated to give it. Best option to me's always been to just... make sure you have your small, day to day, pleasures, and just live in them as much as you can while surviving. Life's not particularly good, but you get by for a while longer. Adjust your desires accordingly low, more or less.

Though that may just be the screaming agony I've been waking up with lately talking, I'unno. Spring mattresses are the fucking devil. Worst part is that the actions needed to be taken to replace the thing is being impeded by said screaming agony. Hard to clean up when bending over is like a chainsaw taken to your spine, bleh.
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Doomblade187

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116472 on: September 21, 2019, 04:45:19 pm »

Medical denials are wierd. Maybe you could get a waiver issued, but they're issuing fewer these days.

What else are you interested in goal wise, outside the basket, may I inquire?
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lemon10

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116473 on: September 21, 2019, 05:48:46 pm »

Read a collection of Conan the barbarian stories by the original author.
Now, the stories themselves were pretty good, especially given that they were written in the 30/40's, and thus the totally normal fantasy stuff in it was actually revolutionary and groundbreaking.

That is, with one small caveat, the racism. Now, for the most part it was fairly low key lovecraft type stuff, notably two stories with the antagonists being black aliens (who look like humans but are totally aliens and have no connections to real black people guys), who were explicitly noted to be black like a dozen times each in a series when the color of no other species is really important or even notable. Lovecraft type racism like this is uh.. bad, but something that I'm just barley willing to give someone from 90 years ago the benefit of the doubt about.

However the real sticker was the story about Conan becoming a leader of a tribe of black people, and then upon learning about the fact that another tribe captured a "white" woman he then breaks his truce with the other tribe and kills them all for daring to capture a white woman (even though he explicitly notes that he could have just asked for her and they would have given her to him) and that these black people backstab each other all the time, and thus it doesn't matter if he does it to them.

And its not because they are savages or kidnap women or anything that he does this, as the story is very keen to note over and over his "savageness" and "primal elementalism". Sure, Conan is a murderous savage that kills a huge amount of people for very little reason, and if no real reason was given other then "kill all these dudes so I can get laid" I would have been fine with it (which was also a motivation for him) despite the undertones of racism that would still have been present.
But that isn't the only reason given, as notes in the story that he explicitly kills them because they kidnapped a white woman.
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Il Palazzo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #116474 on: September 21, 2019, 05:58:49 pm »

Well, listen. In the film the first black guy he sees orders his village murdered, decapitates his mum, and sells him into slavery. That could have made the future slab of meat a bit prejudiced.
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