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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 8470077 times)

kaijyuu

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118665 on: July 22, 2020, 09:15:47 pm »

Sounds to me like he's got some toxic masculinity to sort through before you can really help him in any meaningful way. If he doesn't drop the stoicism then it'll just hurt you both.
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Eschar

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118666 on: July 22, 2020, 09:28:47 pm »

You're not evil.
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femmelf

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118667 on: July 22, 2020, 09:41:59 pm »

You aren't evil. Your dad is controlling. Do what you have to do, but realize he is being controlling.

He is making his problems your problems. Calls to past glories and appeals to your virtues (or insinuating that you have none) is only a ploy to get his way. it's wrong. You know this, but emotionally it is very hard. I can relate to this and it does suck. He is selfish and inappropriate, and he isn't going to change. Your call what relationship you want/need to have with him. No judgement as I don't know what you're going through. I wish you didn't have to do this.
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LordBaal

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118668 on: July 23, 2020, 06:41:25 am »

As a loving father (or at least is what I like to think about myself), I can tell you that the parents are the one that must make sacrifices for the well being on their children, not the other way around, and any parent main goal is precisely that, the well being of their kids. Ok you are not a kid anymore but he is not defenseless either.

As a person without children, your priority is you, being well, focus on that. Not saying to abandon your family, but make him know your priority is your well being, and you two cannot simply live together anymore, your father-son relationship is damage and it requires effort from both sides to repair it, ploys won't work on that and the goal is not you coming back to live with him but for you two to get along better.

You are not evil for fucks sake! As I said, I know of people that have abandoned or hurt their parents for true petty stuff. You are fine pal, just don't let him destabilize you anymore.
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My ship exploded midflight, but all the shrapnel totally landed on Alpha Centauri before anyone else did.  Bow before me world leaders!

Egan_BW

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118669 on: July 23, 2020, 03:42:28 pm »

Anyone is capable of asking for help. If the person isn't willing to directly do so, they don't get help.
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Down at the bottom of the ocean. Beneath tons of brine which would crush you down. Not into broken and splintered flesh, but into thin soup. Into just more of the sea water. Where things live that aren't so different from you, but you will never live to touch them and they will never live to touch you.

kaijyuu

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118670 on: July 23, 2020, 04:13:58 pm »

Anyone is capable of asking for help. If the person isn't willing to directly do so, they don't get help.
There's lots of cultural baggage some people have that prevent this. And the solution is... directly addressing it. (though some still don't respond well)

My in-laws have trouble with this exact thing for different reasons. Mother-in-law has internalized misogyny that prevents her from expressing her feelings directly, as women "aren't supposed to speak up". Father-in-law has internalized toxic masculinity, as men are supposed to be stoic and not show emotion (he's literally apologized for "crying in front of his children", as if that were a bad thing).
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Egan_BW

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118671 on: July 23, 2020, 04:18:36 pm »

It would certainly be nice of me to consider when it would benefit another party to confront them directly over their not asking for help, but I've never felt obliged.
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Down at the bottom of the ocean. Beneath tons of brine which would crush you down. Not into broken and splintered flesh, but into thin soup. Into just more of the sea water. Where things live that aren't so different from you, but you will never live to touch them and they will never live to touch you.

dragdeler

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118672 on: July 26, 2020, 08:36:41 am »

-
« Last Edit: November 23, 2020, 03:51:48 pm by dragdeler »
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let

delphonso

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118673 on: July 26, 2020, 09:02:34 am »

The first alcohol I ever drank was everclear. It put me off the stuff for 3 more years...

KittyTac

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118674 on: July 28, 2020, 12:50:10 am »

Just had a breakdown that started over Discord drama. Accidentally hurt one of my friends during it, felt even worse and cried for a long time after apologizing profusely.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118675 on: July 28, 2020, 07:49:46 am »

You were upset over drama resulting from other people? There's no real shame in that. Not in being a person with emotions.   
I'm pretty sure it's quite normal to be upset by seeing your friends upset with one another. I once punched a friend in the head over a heated dispute arising from a game of Worms 3D (admittedly that was about a decade ago when we were a bunch of schoolkids, but I'm not entirely sure my interpersonal skills have advanced all that much since).   

I'm fairly sure whatever real or imagined transgressions you might have made aren't nearly as severe as mine! Just tell them how distressed you were by the whole disagreement, if they're any kind of decent friend they'll disagree, and if they aren't at least you'll get a glimpse of their true colours.   
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you need to reconsider your life
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Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118676 on: July 28, 2020, 08:39:10 am »

Arguments can get out of hand over text because of how mood is harder to convey.  I'm sorry you hurt your friend, but you sound remorseful too, and I think that means you'll learn from the experience.  So that's a silver lining to a painful situation, at least.
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Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Jopax

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118677 on: August 03, 2020, 09:44:10 am »

Decided to take part in the CDC this month, after like, a year and a half of not feeling up to it. Theme was fairies of all sorts in any setting you can imagine, so long as it's obviously a fairy. First thing that comes to mind is the goddamn Cat Sith, the mostly scottish black cat fairy that eats the souls of the dead. Pretty damn scary for a fairy but hey, not all of them are nice. And as simple as the idea is it's got some neat things to explore. So I go for the horror angle, and very stylized, rather outside my comfort zone:
Spoiler: Somewhat big (click to show/hide)

Now, since the group is rather large and has some rules in place, it's also got moderation, so anything you post needs to be approved first, perfectly reasonable. But the shitty part about FB is that it doesn't really let you know if it's not approved, the only way to know is if you can't find your own post and the little blurb about a post awaiting approval is gone. Anyways, obviously enough, it got rejected (otherwise there wouldn't be this post) and I'm not entirely sure why, I've looked trough other submissions, there's some weird ass shit, stuff you wouldn't immediately call a fairy, but apparently an evil fairy cat isn't fairy enough for whoever moderates it. But hey, one submission was literally a cat with a pair of fairy wings and that was perfectly fine I guess, so maybe I should've stuck some wings on it and called it a day :I
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TamerVirus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118678 on: August 03, 2020, 10:22:36 am »

Decided to take part in the CDC this month
Maybe you can do better fighting the Corona instead of the knuckleheads in charge  :P
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scriver

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #118679 on: August 03, 2020, 11:48:32 am »

silly Jopax they meant american fairies, not irish or scandinavian or any other folklore fairies
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Love, scriver~
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