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[Vector]

I am really, really tired and struggling to focus right now. The end of this week will mark another month and a half completely alone.

It's definitely not bothering me as much as last time, but ... this stuff is hard ...

[methylatedspirit]

Are you perchance receiving therapy alongside your medication?

No, actually. I haven't seen a shrink for an entire year and counting now. I haven't voiced my concerns about this yet, but I think you're nudging me to do so. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get access to therapy, considering that I'm a college student and will probably be going back to campus in a month or so. I should ask my mom; she's a shink herself and understands how the system works, or at least knows someone who does.

[Iduno]

The fact you’re aware of these thoughts and (presumably) the patterns they take is a really good thing. It means you can work toward pulling them out and examining them and their roots in order to figure out whether they’re useful to keep around. If you are at such a level of stress or whatever that it’s making you feel like you’re going mad, then maybe not.

You learned to have these responses from your middle school experience, and it is possible to unlearn them, too.

Are you perchance receiving therapy alongside your medication? It sounds like some CBT¹ (based mostly on my own experience with it rather than anything else) would be quite useful for you to help sort through these thoughts.

¹ of the cognitive behavioural variety. Knowing this place, there has been some willful misinterpretation of the abbreviation...

Although with anxiety and trauma stuff (this sounds like one of those), the other CBT would probably be less harmful. It turns out that focusing/dwelling on things is already a problem with those 2 disorders, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy makes that worse.

[bloop_bleep]

CBT, as I've had it, isn't about focusing or dwelling on things. That's actually the opposite of what I've heard. The point is to allow thoughts in and don't engage them at all. So stop actively thinking about them. Eventually they just become nothing special.

[Frumple]

Cognitive behavioral therapy isn't really a single thing with a single point, exactly, far as I'm aware. That could be part of it, but there's other parts, too.

[scriver]

The fact you’re aware of these thoughts and (presumably) the patterns they take is a really good thing. It means you can work toward pulling them out and examining them and their roots in order to figure out whether they’re useful to keep around. If you are at such a level of stress or whatever that it’s making you feel like you’re going mad, then maybe not.

You learned to have these responses from your middle school experience, and it is possible to unlearn them, too.

Are you perchance receiving therapy alongside your medication? It sounds like some CBT¹ (based mostly on my own experience with it rather than anything else) would be quite useful for you to help sort through these thoughts.

¹ of the cognitive behavioural variety. Knowing this place, there has been some willful misinterpretation of the abbreviation...

Although with anxiety and trauma stuff (this sounds like one of those), the other CBT would probably be less harmful. It turns out that focusing/dwelling on things is already a problem with those 2 disorders, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy makes that worse.

That's not true at all, mate.

[LordBaal]

What a crappy week for all of us eh?
Last nigth I visited my grandma old house and since there were electricity I could look how the place is. Parts of the roof plaster are falling, the place is a horrid mess that would make Nurgle proud. And the missing walls and nigthmarish distribution that some family long gone is responisble for seems straight out of Tzeentch mind.

All in all, is better than sleeping on a car or the streets. The sides are three other houses well cared for and currently occupied. And the front and back are well guarded by sturdy iron gates and brick walls.

It is a rather large house, the place my uncle and his gf live is well maintained and clean.

On my way to work Ill left my wife and kid there so she starts cleaning it up and make a list of everything we will need to bring so I can help her this weekend.

My mother in law place is in better shape but is too far away to be practical.

[Arx]

If it's available and the repairs are within your ability, I'd call that a win! I hope you have the time, though. :/ I love fixing things but I know not everyone does and you're working a thousand hours. Good luck!

[LordBaal]

In theory yes, the repairs to make it habitable again is just cheap gypsum and lot of water, some soap and elbow grease since the leaks that caused the damage were fixed by my uncle last year. The perk of the place Im working now is they are throwing away lots of perfectly good wooden walls, you know the cubicle ones, which I asked for and they said yes. I will use them to cover for the missing walls. Gotta ask for a ride for those however, no way I can make it on foot.

Another plus is services there are cheaper.

[martinuzz]

Sounds like you can, with some labour investment, make that place your home! I hope it all works out.
Does it have a yard large enough to grow some veggies and perhaps raise a few chickens? Sounds like being able to be at least partially self-sufficient is a big plus with the state of your country's economy..


EDIT: Oh, and take some pics of the place in it's current state for later.
It can be very satisfying and fun to look at some 'before' and 'after' pictures with such a project as yours

[LordBaal]

Spoiler: Main living ceiling (click to show/hide)

Dont mind the luxury lamps, the house used to be very nice. But they use 6 bulbs and not standard e26 sockets but some smaller ones that are hard to come by here. Its a shame because they are rather nice

Spoiler: Part of the bedroom (click to show/hide)

This bedroom is made up by two rooms and two bathrooma, one room connect to one bathroom (a rather luxurious and big one wich I missed last nigth because the door dont have a doorknob and was stuck) and to the living room. The other room connects with the main room, the other bathroom (which in turn also connects to another living room) and to what used to be a garage and now is filled with left over materials.
The main room is like 4x4 meters and is fine, walls, floors and all. Except for the wall that is missing between the two rooms which I already got the material to fix.

Im planning on using the smaller room as our closet and storage but first have to fix it

Spoiler: Laundry area (click to show/hide)

Here I have to accommodate that washer machine but as you can see the only place would be to the right and part of the floor is simply missing, have to fill it with something.

The damage was done by lots of water and time. My uncle assures me the leaks are fixed. Rain season here starts in two months, so we'll wait and see. The walls were dry as bone at least.

[martinuzz]

Looks managable. Do use anti-fungal cleaning stuff on the walls before you paint them over. I don't think just St.Marc will do.

[Frumple]

I mean... yeah, I've definitely seen worse in my local than those pics, at the very least. So hey, it's better than rural florida probably-should-be-condemned, if that makes you feel any better about the situation

[LordBaal]

Is better than the first room I had in mind, the house has at least 5 rooms and two unfinished ones on the second floor. Also after taking out the trash and debris it looks far better.

[Vector]

Not feeling good today & don't want to eat. (ordered some takeout and will eat it regardless) Hopefully better tomorrow.