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[Rolan7]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3qXjdOPC6I

Over the years, this diatribe has helped me live.  It has encouraged me to keep living, even when I don't want to.

If nothing else, I exist to spite everyone who says I shouldn't.
But even other than that:
Just existing spites people.
Live to make them unhappy.

[dragdeler]

Heh I think they did the whole living out of spite thing to me first 


Its ok I slept like 14 hours (I wrote this when I woke up midway super frustrated about loosing the evening) and got the pouting out of my system that way...

then today I manhandled the cmos jumper accepting that my project could not be in a worse state, and what can i say the bios posted so hooray to nore more pouting, I can put stuff in their final destination and get on with rearranging my living space


there was so much stuff lying around, sometimes that makes me miserable I did sleep 14h instead of taking advantage of a rare opportunity to get out of the house...

[chaotic skies]

Spoiler: Heavy life talk, felt it a good idea to provide a warning (click to show/hide)

My roommate recently asked me to marry her, which led to me re-evaluating my life and deciding I want to go to college (and turning her down), but I can't because I'm terrified she's going to un-alive herself if I do. So now I just feel trapped and sad because if I stay I don't get to do the thing that feels like why I exist but if I go I spend every second terrified I've effectively just killed someone I care about. So that's fun. I always knew I was better off not getting too close to people but I was hopeful that just this once I could have that intimacy for a little bit without hurting everyone. I can't say I'm surprised I'm wrong but it still hurts.

I don't really know what to do from here on but it's nice to talk about it where no one involved can hear me. I'm so isolated that everyone I can talk to will take it back to her. I mean it makes sense, she's made herself the center of my life, but now I want to change that and I feel so trapped. She told me herself she knew I'd want to leave and she thought she could convince me to stay and on some level I think I know she's bad for me but I can't seem to stop caring about her enough to do it, even though I know it's best for me.

Idk what the point of this all is, feel free to comment or give advise or whatever. It's just nice to have it out of my head.

[martinuzz]

Let her go

[hector13]

Yeah the way you’ve put it, staying with her would not be good for you, or her at the end of the day. Feeling trapped in a relationship is not going to end well, and staying would just be delaying that inevitability.

[LordBaal]

Marrying her would be a mistake for both of you. Dont do it.

Not asking, but if you are having sexual relations use protection, sometimes people think a baby will solve things or forcibly join people together. Both acounts are wrong.

[Vector]

I agree with everyone above.


I'm in a horrible depression and I don't know how to make it stop. I just want things to feel like they are going to be ok. Will they be ok? No. Things are not ok and I am probably not going to ever get to experience "ok" again. There is no more "ok" left in the universe. Just a long slump full of unending violence towards oblivion.

:V

[Egan_BW]

We're not doomed. Things may not be going well right now, but there's every chance of being able to fight through to the other side.

[Vector]

I woke up moaning in a distressed way and shaking at 3 AM, but after doing some math and buying a fuckton of fruit I feel better.

[Il Palazzo]

Hang in there V. I don't know if things will get better, but they might. More manageable. Less miserable. Depression took twenty years of my life - the best years, arguably. But there's still life to be had after. Or even alongside, with some management.

[LordBaal]

See this video Vector. https://youtu.be/LxgMdjyw8uw

It migth not be related at all with what is happening to you but is a cherful enough video.

[McTraveller]

Wow this pandemic-initiated, whatever-the-reason-persistent supply chain nonsense has made it so that salespeople don't even try any more.

I was just at a car dealer checking out an EV that I'm actually interested in and the guy literally said "eh you folks that are into EVs do research ahead of time so probably know more than I do" and then he proceeded to even not even correctly name the trim levels available for the vehicle.  He was like "we'll be up front and honest, these are going for 10% over MSRP".

I mean I like the car, but holy cow no wonder people are switching to online buying. About the only good going to the dealer had was I learned I really do think I'd be interested in that vehicle, but not based on what the salesperson did.

Of course it's moot, because they don't even know when they can get the trim level in which I'm interested. Guess I'll keep making monthly car payments to myself until the industry figures itself out.

[dragdeler]

Retired hero of the workers who neeeeeeeeds to put in two hours of work before noon bullied me into a solid 11h sleep in 2 days. Man am I happy that guy will be done before lunch very neato. And no I did not hallucinate the lawnmower sound all of that horrible 11th hour long, my poor fella was just interrupted by his beautiful kids paying him a visit.

These are the very kind of people who are super addicted to coming to the recycling park a lot. I am just so happy that he is done before noon and not at all channeling my trembling rage into a sarcastic rant instead of sitting down to write a nice little polite resignation letter the second day of work after vacation. I couldn't picture anything better to do with my life than to service those very kind of people. It's an honor to lend your generation a hand into tending to their phytochemically tainted garden. Ilive to serve.

I'm not trembling, you're trembling.




What pheromone do I let off when I'm super done with life, allways some random thing to derail me from my wrath... Since when do they care and give tips at the mandarory medical checkup for work? She said she couldn't prescribe me antihystamines but she strongly advised to see a doctor about it, because it might improve the quality of me sleep. Just let me boil until I evaporate into nada when I'm like that FFS, everytime, be nice before or fuck off when I'm angry.

[chaotic skies]

I'm totally going to fail my Linear Algebra final and, therefore, the class. This is...a problem.

[hector13]

When is your final?