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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 8474068 times)

TD1

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #76995 on: June 18, 2014, 10:32:14 am »

Yes...obviously...
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #76996 on: June 18, 2014, 10:54:18 am »

.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 03:19:19 pm by Vector »
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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Neonivek

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #76997 on: June 18, 2014, 10:58:09 am »

Arguements continue. :I

But no, nobody is being harmful to me, because I'm the one taking everything as an insult and attack, and they're just "defending themselves" because I'm the one that starts everything, despite me being perfectly happy to just sit there and stop fucking argueing rather than perpetuate it.
But I'm sure they're right, and it's all my fault.

Noooooooooope. Keep going, dear. If they won't at least recognize the impact on your feelings when discussing why they do what they do in a personal relationship, that's at least one thing that they're doing to create the problem.

Been there and the answer is usually no (to the "is it my fault part")

If someone honestly believes you are attacking them, there is usually very little you can say to make what comes from your mouth not an attack.

Sometimes the important thing is to just leave the conversation, even if it makes you the jerk, even if it makes you wrong. Sometimes it is better to suffer indignity from leaving a conversation then it is to suffer its continuation.
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MaximumZero

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #76998 on: June 18, 2014, 11:02:57 am »

This is why I don't argue with people. I just ignore them until they go away, and if they don't, I glare at them until they do. If they still don't, then the punching starts, but that hasn't happened in a long time.
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RedKing

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #76999 on: June 18, 2014, 11:05:34 am »

What Neonivek said. My ex occasionally still goes into bouts of martyr complex where she has to repeatedly throw in my face how hard it is to be a single mom. Despite the fact that I bend over backwards to help her out, pay 60% of my net income to her, and that it was her choice to not try to reconcile. I find that even trying to calmly, rationally discuss these issues in a non-defensive way is fruitless. She gets so wrapped up in being mad at me that I think she gets more angry that I'm denying her an easy reason to be mad at me.
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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77000 on: June 18, 2014, 11:11:55 am »

Arguements continue. :I

But no, nobody is being harmful to me, because I'm the one taking everything as an insult and attack, and they're just "defending themselves" because I'm the one that starts everything, despite me being perfectly happy to just sit there and stop fucking argueing rather than perpetuate it.
But I'm sure they're right, and it's all my fault.

Noooooooooope. Keep going, dear. If they won't at least recognize the impact on your feelings when discussing why they do what they do in a personal relationship, that's at least one thing that they're doing to create the problem.
...I'm quite sad I didn't introduce you to Vector muchly earlier...I guess...ina way. Cheese. o-o
She's awesome with advice like dis.

Though as a point with faults--there's usually hints of truth with them, however look at it in a self-developing way instead of 'I return your thorns with mine' way. You've got wrongs, K! Let's improve on em. :3

Protip for the words: Don't memorize them. Try and figure out how their etymology relates to what they refer to. One of the nice things about biology, compared to other sciences, is that relatively few things are named after people, and instead most are named for a function or other notable characteristic. There are exceptions, but if you can work out what the word means you can often figure out what it refers to.
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THIS.

And seriously cramming kills. Take it from Ms. Pre-med student here x-x muuuust develop study habits to live. It's like your survival guide in the wilds--though you use your mind more than your musc-..yeah.
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77001 on: June 18, 2014, 11:23:13 am »

We lost the state sportsball contest.
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mastahcheese

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77002 on: June 18, 2014, 12:20:15 pm »

Ok, found time to write it out.



Ok, to understand it, some backstory.
A while back ago, we went to a fast food place, and got a chicken sandwitch, and when I took a bite of it, I found that it wasn't cooked all the way, and was still very much raw.
This was when I discovered that uncooked meat makes me really nauseous, and I couldn't even look at it without getting queasy and light headed.
I couldn't even sit up straight, so I wasn't able to go in to tell the restraint workers that it wasn't cooked (we were eating in the car) so they had to go in and do it.

Today, they decided to bring this back up, and told me how hurt they were that I wasn't the one to go in and tell them.
Another thing to mention, last night I mentioned how I didn't used to faint at the sight of blood, and thought it was strange that I do now, and I was told to stop being afraid, and get over it. They said that me fainting at the sight if blood is my fault, and that it I would stop letting it get to me, I wouldn't do it.
I've told them that I'm not bothered by fainting at blood, I just thought it was odd since it used to not bother me, and they told me the same thing, to get over it.
Today, the arguement over me getting sick from the uncooked meat was pretty much the same thing, about how I was completely self centered to make them go in and tell them, rather than doing it myself. (For the record, I actually told them to not worry about it, and that I just wanted to go home, but they went in anyway on their own)
Anyway, it upset me that they were basically telling me to stuff down my fears, and they said that it doesn't matter what they say, that I'll take everything as an insult when they're just stating their opinions.
After that, it pretty much devolved into them saying how I make everything out to be against me, and never listen to anyone, and saying that they're afraid to say anything to me because it always turns into an arguement, while I'm sitting there trying to get a word in, and they tell me that I need to stop talking, because they're speaking. Eventually I got so angry that my muscles twitches started getting really bad, and I told them that I need to go sit down before I start involuntarily punching myself like what happened last time. So I tried walking out of the room and they screamed at me, saying "go ahead, run away", and that it's pathetic that I'm getting so upset over what they said was me "abandoning them", back then. So I yelled back "Sorry for being a fucking wimp, then", and walked out because at that point the twitching had got so bad that I ended up punching a wall.

Right now, as I'm typing this, they're sending me texts trying to get me to restart the arguement, and guilting me because I'm telling them that I'm not going to, and they're using that to say I don't care.  
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The Derail Thread

Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77003 on: June 18, 2014, 12:24:17 pm »

That's really, really, sucky.  :(

For what it's worth, they're six ways in the wrong here. I wish I could offer you more than sympathy and well-wishes.  :-\
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BFEL

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77004 on: June 18, 2014, 12:25:22 pm »

MC, this is one of those problems that can best be solved by murder, IMO.
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Playergamer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77005 on: June 18, 2014, 12:28:50 pm »

Cheese, you having not destroyed your phone is showing far more self control then I ever could in a situation like this.

My advice? Forget them. You don't owe them anything, and quite frankly, they sound like the kind of people who are never going to stop arguing this, and make a point of not listening to anything you say.

Ninja'ed twice: Yeah. That.
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77006 on: June 18, 2014, 12:43:10 pm »

.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 03:19:14 pm by Vector »
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Worldmaster27

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77007 on: June 18, 2014, 01:07:02 pm »

Dear Mastahcheese,
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77008 on: June 18, 2014, 01:21:34 pm »

MC, this is one of those problems that can best be solved by murder, IMO.
Are you bloody serious or what.
NO.
While it is understandable that the first impression done in feeling is..what you say here--that is never the answer (ie only people willing to go down to the level of being jerks like those that hurt you will attempt it...or something along those lines). My point here is, while yeah the feeling or emotion of hate and anger and 'ARGHHH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS' exists, murder is never an answer.

Let them dwell and brew with their short sightedness and be the better person (ie Follow Vector's advice). You'll be all the better from it once you drop dat anger.
Also, you won't be stooping down to their level: respond anger w/ anger and such.
Also you aren't them...to use that vague note that's drifting around in my thoughts.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2014, 01:41:40 pm by Tiruin »
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #77009 on: June 18, 2014, 01:25:23 pm »

The exact reply to "You aren't replying, so you don't care" shenanigans:

"I do care, and that's why I'm going to wait until we're both calmed down before we continue."

Afterward, do not communicate, by any means, until (at least) 24 hours passes since their last attempt to contact you. Make sure that you're calm, too - it's not just about giving them time to stew, but giving you time to straighten out your thoughts and work out whatever barbs they're using to try and make it about you instead of themselves.

EDIT: To whatever extent you want my advice, anyway.
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.
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