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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 8470785 times)

Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29070 on: April 30, 2011, 01:43:49 pm »

This is a missive to multiple people.  I hope they all pay attention.  Unfortunately, some of them cannot because they are not part of the community, but that is the breaks for them.



All right, that's it.

For all intents and purposes, I'd like everyone to forget I was ever diagnosed with anything, let alone twice with the DSM being read off to me when I objected strenuously.  There's nothing wrong with me and I am not a unique and special snowflake, and I came into this world fully equipped with all of the behavioral information I needed.  Indeed, I lied and have been enormously popular since the ripe young age of two.  I am The Most Popular.  I am actually the president.  Obama is a fake and occasionally bungles up policy, but that is right--I am The Real President.

I'm not genderqueer or bisexual either, by the way, because there's no physical evidence you can draw upon from Over Here On the Internet.  I've never crossdressed and I've never kissed a girl.  I'm so normal that I am the average American with one ovary and one testicle, so the standard rubrics no longer apply.

So the next person who wants to question me or tell me I'm not that bad can fuck right off.  I may have communicated imperfectly and I may be a hell of a lot better over the computer than I am in normal life, but that doesn't give anyone the right to project onto me that there's nothing wrong just because you never saw me when it was really bad.  Well, it would be impossible for you to see me when it was really bad, because actually... you've never seen me, and a lot of these things can't be explored through text.  Indeed, it was partially a mental struggle over this very question that led me to drop out of school, constantly looking for fuel for each side of the argument and never accepting any answer.  In fact, given half a chance, I shovel whatever social problems I have under the carpet, behave as I would naturally in a social situation, and proceed to be never spoken to again.

So fuck off.  I guess that this imperialism of my mind is the sign that I've succeeded in looking normal enough online, just as men--and only men, and not only professors--telling me that I have to major in mathematics to Help Out The Female Cause is par for the course once you've made it past a certain level.

My mind, my self-knowledge, my intellect.  They belong to me and I am not submitting them to any more control than is strictly necessary.  I revealed things about myself that I found embarrassing not in order to be told that they didn't happen or that I didn't count in the great Numbering of Things, but in order to offer additional perspective, much as I inform folks when they're buying into sexist narratives as a matter of offering additional perspective.  I am sensitive to these things not because I always used to notice, but because I used to do them, and then people yelled at me and told me to stop.  A second embarrassment.

Surprisingly, being offered additional perspective is a privilege.  My offering my experience is not free.  It represents a cost to me.  That cost is sometimes repaid in terms of people looking for ways to tell me what to do or ways to find me being Just As Bad (feminism), or people telling me that I am just like everyone else and just need to get off my high horse (autism spectrum nonsense).

I have my own life plans and my own social plans, and I only point out the most egregious anti-progressivist bullcrap here--and usually with an attempt to be nice about it if it seems like the person in question isn't attempting to be rude.

So, I dunno.  This is a PSA from someone who doesn't have that much emotional energy, and if you constantly had people asking what was wrong with you and underlining how ABNORMAL you are (I have gotten this too, by the way.  Everyone thinks I am foreign), or if you had people saying "you should do x because it will advance men's interests," you'd understand just how ridiculous this all was.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2011, 03:24:50 pm by Vector »
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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Tellemurius

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29071 on: April 30, 2011, 01:56:15 pm »

So we all realized now that we are normal?

Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29072 on: April 30, 2011, 01:57:12 pm »

So we all realized now that we are normal?

Yes, and the way the world is set up now works equally well for all of us.  It is a brave new world that we inhabit, isn't it?  I can't wait to go out and play with everyone else.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

lemon10

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29073 on: April 30, 2011, 01:57:22 pm »

I am actually the president.  Obama is a fake and occasionally bungles up policy, but that is right--I am The Real President.
I am quite dissapointed with you. You have let the republicans trample all over you and not passed enough legislation.
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Willfor

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29074 on: April 30, 2011, 02:01:28 pm »

Quote
This is a missive to multiple people.  I hope they all pay attention.
Quote
This isn't about anyone in particular.  I'm just tired.
The second quote implies that the first is invalid, and takes away from the strength of your post in my opinion. There was no need to either sabotage your earlier intentions, or make a false premise, whichever the case may be.

I am experienced in entirely invaliding my posts with simple statements that could have been better written, and don't want to see the same thing happen to your nice one.
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Tellemurius

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29075 on: April 30, 2011, 02:19:58 pm »

So we all realized now that we are normal?

Yes, and the way the world is set up now works equally well for all of us.  It is a brave new world that we inhabit, isn't it?  I can't wait to go out and play with everyone else.
I need to stop reading 1984 for a long time, F451 is already stuck with me for life.

Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29076 on: April 30, 2011, 03:23:09 pm »

Quote
This is a missive to multiple people.  I hope they all pay attention.
Quote
This isn't about anyone in particular.  I'm just tired.
The second quote implies that the first is invalid, and takes away from the strength of your post in my opinion. There was no need to either sabotage your earlier intentions, or make a false premise, whichever the case may be.

I am experienced in entirely invaliding my posts with simple statements that could have been better written, and don't want to see the same thing happen to your nice one.

... Good point.  The problem with trying to cause offense (vaguely) is that you're not supposed to cause offense.  Bottom dequalifier is going to go be deleted.


I am actually the president.  Obama is a fake and occasionally bungles up policy, but that is right--I am The Real President.
I am quite dissapointed with you. You have let the republicans trample all over you and not passed enough legislation.

Oh noooo someone on the internet disapproves of me

Fuck off I am busy doing public policy and enjoying my multi-sexual status

Yeah that's right

Public policy you and me any day
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Ochita

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29077 on: April 30, 2011, 03:29:52 pm »

Umm... Go Vector!

Do that public policy.


Oh god. I have a terminal headache... Again.
So much joy.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2011, 03:51:55 pm by Ochita »
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Aqizzar

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29078 on: April 30, 2011, 03:55:03 pm »

I have my own life plans and my own social plans, and I only point out the most egregious anti-progressivist bullcrap here--and usually with an attempt to be nice about it if it seems like the person in question isn't attempting to be rude.

For what it's worth, I think you've done an admirable job.  I've never collated or made any mental notes about anyone's analysis of themselves, or how anyone else has attempted to describe them.  I think trying to describe psychosocial stuff in plain text, especially about oneself or in conversation with the subject, is too easy to muddle or misjudge.  Just from what I know, from knowing you as textual missives prepared at your own discretion, you're an exceptionally intelligent and observant person.  I've come to trust your perspective on whatever it is you're discussing, even if I don't always agree with your conclusions, not really because of whatever I might "know" about where you're coming from, but because I know from demonstration that a lot of thought went into it.

I'm so normal that I am the average American with one ovary and one testicle, so the standard rubrics no longer apply.

I was chuckling out loud at that.
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Cthulhu

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29079 on: April 30, 2011, 04:01:46 pm »

Re:  Online Blood Bowl.  Do I have terrible luck with matchmaking or is playing the same fucking identical chaos teams over and over again part of the charm?  It would be one thing if I were actually playing the same person, but everyone in the entire league is playing the same team.
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Aqizzar

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29080 on: April 30, 2011, 04:04:48 pm »

Re:  Online Blood Bowl.  Do I have terrible luck with matchmaking or is playing the same fucking identical chaos teams over and over again part of the charm?  It would be one thing if I were actually playing the same person, but everyone in the entire league is playing the same team.

There must be some metagame you don't know about.  Maybe Chaos is statistically superior to all other teams, so only chumps try playing anyone else.

Point is, matchmaking blows, no matter the game.
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And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
Please amplify your relaxed states.
Quote from: PTTG??
The ancients built these quote pyramids to forever store vast quantities of rage.

Cthulhu

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29081 on: April 30, 2011, 04:31:31 pm »

I just made a bashy 4-mummy khemri team.  Not even going to look at the ball except as an afterthought.  Time to butcher some goats.
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Vertigon

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29082 on: April 30, 2011, 04:41:30 pm »

I'm having problems with Cortex Command modding. My latest gun feels like something a stormtrooper would use; I can barely hit anything, and when I do, it doesn't hurt at all. My digger creates more dirt than it digs, I swear. The only thing that works is my Markman's Rifle, and that's overpowered. Well, the concrete/metal cutter (dubbed "Beam Cutter", and it looks like a propane torch) 'works', but the clip gets in the way and virtually erases all progress. :I
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Angel Of Death

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29083 on: April 30, 2011, 07:11:11 pm »

This is the last day of the holidays.

After today, I have to go back to that shithole of a school.

*repeated headdesk*

[edit] Oh, fucking fantastic. My depression's coming back, too.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2011, 07:41:00 pm by Angel Of Death »
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SalmonGod

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #29084 on: April 30, 2011, 07:35:58 pm »

I need to replace my mechanical pencil.  I think this thing has been my main writing utensil for like 11 years.  Now the midsection doesn't like to stay screwed together.  Stores don't seem to carry any of similar style or quality anymore.
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