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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 8471699 times)

SalmonGod

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59685 on: March 27, 2013, 06:15:47 am »

Or you could go outside for a bit.  C'mon, there's more to life than computers.

Except that everyone outside my house hates me.
That was very insensitive. But you shouldnt really care because in a few days im gone for good.

Everyone on this forum is a real person who lives outside your house.

As someone who spent ages 8-16 trapped in a small community where I was completely unable to make any real friends, despite plenty of effort/involvement in group activities/time spent outside, this is an incredibly non-constructive observation.
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

Max White

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59686 on: March 27, 2013, 06:22:56 am »

Vector, I honestly feel sad for you, and for this guy I have never met. I mean I have been through pretty serious depression and while I can't be sure I know what this guy was feeling, I know it wasn't nice... I'm just not the best at giving comfort online, seriously this stuff is so much easier in real life.
I get the feeling you aren't ok, and I honestly wouldn't expect it of anybody right now. But I hope you can get better, kind of.




So yea, I suck at this. Thus why choosing not to reply to DrPoo making a suicide threat when I should say something.

Glowcat

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59687 on: March 27, 2013, 06:31:38 am »

Yeah.  I wish I could do something, but my friends who were going to go play laser tag with this guy just don't seem to care that he's, you know, train'd.  They apparently didn't have enough relationship to actually care, and I had even less relationship so I'd feel like a dick telling my IRL friends "hey, someone I spent all day every day with in class for two years decided it was time to kick off this mortal coil."

Why don't they care?  I don't really understand.  This is nasty young-person-of-my-near-acquaintance death no. 5 for me, and I still manage to care.  Heck. . . this is suicide #5 at that spot so far this year.  Last year there were 12.  Young people.  That's the way things work in this town.  Young people kill themselves at the tracks.

The other small-friends forum I post at: my friend whose cat died was (rightfully) given reams of attention, but no one seems to care when my friends and relatives die.  Including my former best friend.  How can human beings abandon each other so fully?  Did I do something wrong?  That's a question I keep asking myself.

I don't know what to say, really.  I feel like my brain is unraveling a little, and I keep talking because I just want someone to realize that this actually matters.

They might care but don't grieve openly, or are still numb to the reality. I doubt anybody is actually capable of not grieving at the death of somebody close to them but the way they express that and try to get through the experience can greatly vary between individuals. But at this point there's nothing that can be done besides dealing with how much crap it is that somebody ends up losing all hope to the point they decide their only option is to end it.

So yea, I suck at this. Thus why choosing not to reply to DrPoo making a suicide threat when I should say something.

You're not alone... I try to diffuse things with a light-hearted comment if I say anything at all but I always feel like I'm not doing something right. I'm probably not. I really hope DrPoo doesn't let herself get lost in a bad situation.
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SalmonGod

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59688 on: March 27, 2013, 06:54:16 am »

If there's been that much local suicide, they might just not be that shocked by it.  I think people do have a tendency to emotionally barricade themselves against events like that during really rough times.  I wish I had something useful/supportive to say, too, but I think I'm kinda weird when it comes to this.  I find it perhaps too easy to internalize the recognition that death is something I'll encounter frequently in the world, and then not be very effected by it.  I care, but I don't hurt.  If that makes any sense.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2013, 06:57:05 am by SalmonGod »
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

DrPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59689 on: March 27, 2013, 07:24:12 am »

Im not treathening suicide at all.
I have just lost all that made me care for staying alive and thus i will handle my life with much less care.

While this might lead to my death im not directly stating that i intend to commit suicide.
Dont go make some rescue thread or some shit. Just stop caring for me and accept that i have given up trying to hang on. Wich is a big dick move considering how much you guys have done to keep me interested in continuing my life here.

But im too empty and exhausted to care anymore. We are going to loose contact anyway so the net loss is the same.

Im just weighing you guys down with my unending whining and negativity. Bad karma i know but i guess i just dont deserve any better.

Stay tough, guys.
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Skyrunner

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59690 on: March 27, 2013, 10:45:34 am »

New violin delivery has been delayed to April 12, about two weeks from now. I was looking forward to it all week, too. ;_;
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59691 on: March 27, 2013, 03:09:19 pm »

If there's been that much local suicide, they might just not be that shocked by it.  I think people do have a tendency to emotionally barricade themselves against events like that during really rough times.  I wish I had something useful/supportive to say, too, but I think I'm kinda weird when it comes to this.  I find it perhaps too easy to internalize the recognition that death is something I'll encounter frequently in the world, and then not be very effected by it.  I care, but I don't hurt.  If that makes any sense.

This has been happening for years, though, and this one was our friend.

I don't know.  I recognize that death is something I'll encounter (have encountered) frequently, but I choose to mourn it anyway.  I don't hurt especially much either.  I just feel sort of numb, and in part what's feeling bad right now is the realization that I've gotten to the point where this sort of thing happens and I just sort of go on with life.  Because I'm used to the notion that yeah, kids my age just kind of kill themselves from time to time.
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Nadaka

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59692 on: March 27, 2013, 03:24:56 pm »

Take what I say with a grain of salt, as I am not likely to be "normal".

But I look at death as something inevitable. I do not grieve for people not a significant part of my life. At most I might feel a mild sadness. I don't feel like I should be inflicting suffering on myself when the difference in my life based on their passing will ultimately be minute.

For people that are a significant part of my life? It depends on context. I actually think I will be relieved when my grandmother dies. Its an end to her pain and dementia. I am already missing her, because the person she was already no longer exists. In other contexts? I don't really know how I would react.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59693 on: March 27, 2013, 03:30:25 pm »

But im too empty and exhausted to care anymore. We are going to loose contact anyway so the net loss is the same.

Im just weighing you guys down with my unending whining and negativity. Bad karma i know but i guess i just dont deserve any better.

Stay tough, guys.
We'll wait for you to come back, if anyone deserves support it's you. I'm serious.

Pnx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59694 on: March 27, 2013, 03:36:45 pm »

When this sort of thing happens, I honestly have no clue what to say. Which is why I often don't say anything. It's probably worse on account of my own brushes with suicide being not that far away in the past...

Frankly it's an amazingly crapsack world, and part of me is still wondering if not killing myself was the right decision to make considering how difficult it's going to be to carve out a not-so-crappy slice of life out of the world. Plus I wonder things like, "Even if you can get a decent life going on, will you even be happy?"

So in the face of all that, what do I say when someone kills themself?

A lot of the time, I just relate my own experiences and thoughts... because honestly, what the fuck else can I say?
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59695 on: March 27, 2013, 03:46:58 pm »

But I look at death as something inevitable. I do not grieve for people not a significant part of my life. At most I might feel a mild sadness. I don't feel like I should be inflicting suffering on myself when the difference in my life based on their passing will ultimately be minute.

For people that are a significant part of my life? It depends on context. I actually think I will be relieved when my grandmother dies. Its an end to her pain and dementia. I am already missing her, because the person she was already no longer exists. In other contexts? I don't really know how I would react.

I also have a memory much better than most other people's.  I remember conversations, times, places, and all that in detail to the point where other people have started joking that they could use me as an external memory device for their own lives.  So I can go back to middle school and just remember, quite easily, sitting around with this guy and joking about the bulges on our salt maps, and how detailed his coast lines were.  And I remember playing 3 flies up, and how he had an advantage because he was tall but his good friend, a short dude, would always jump way up high and catch it.  And all the scuffling.  And I remember all sorts of little details of the trip my 8th grade class took to Washington DC.

I don't know, really, what I'm saying anymore.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Glowcat

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59696 on: March 27, 2013, 03:54:40 pm »

Doesn't matter if it makes sense. If you feel like you need to say it, we'll listen.
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SalmonGod

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59697 on: March 27, 2013, 08:09:51 pm »

It sounds to me like your response is just fine.  In all honesty, I don't think death itself is really that bad.  The worst part about it is we build up these webs of relationships, and then we have to break them.  It's also really sad when somebody throws a bunch of life away or suffers a lot in the process.  Otherwise, I can't imagine any reason that being dead should be something to fear or cause for mourning. 

So when someone I know dies, I just take some time to remember them.  Someone's journey is ending, and the best thing you can do is reflect on the parts that you shared and what they meant to you.

When my friend committed suicide about 8 months ago, I cried a little bit... but I didn't cry for her.  I cried because I knew her husband and newborn child were going to be so hurt and have such a rough time for years to come.  For her it was a release.  She had cerebral palsy.  She'd put up with it for 30 years, but had reached a point where every day was suffering and it was never going to get better.  I was happy for her.  From everything I heard, she did a lot more with her life than most people with the disease manage to do.
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

Jervill

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59698 on: March 27, 2013, 09:12:01 pm »

Oh boy, oh boy, another fucking rejection letter.  At the rate I'm going I'll have applied to and been rejected by every city in the Upper Midwest.  Oh well, just keep applying until someone finally gives me a chance, I guess.

[/vent]
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Mr Space Cat

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #59699 on: March 27, 2013, 09:45:19 pm »

Im not treathening suicide at all.
I have just lost all that made me care for staying alive and thus i will handle my life with much less care.
Go prove life wrong. Make life worth something. Grab life by the neck and kick it in the crotch and tell it "Screw your hater bollocks, life, I'm gonna do things and it's gonna be awesome."
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