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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 8474110 times)

Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115305 on: January 21, 2019, 05:50:23 pm »

Speaking of social abilities... I have an appointment today. Apparently it's some kinda group appointment, i.e not the sort of thing I do well at.

My usual appointments are bad enough but I get the feeling this is gonna involve actually interacting with the other miserable cunts in attendance.
My backup plan is to make a quick trip to the bathroom - which happens to be along the hall in the direction of the entrance - and just book it the hell out of there.
If anyone complains about me leaving early I will simply point out the absurdity of booking me into such a social anxiety torture session in the first place.

Hopefully, though, I can just sit in a corner and wait it out, then afterwards politely mention how entirely unsuitable such a program is for me.
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LordBaal

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115306 on: January 21, 2019, 06:47:48 pm »

What's happening on Ecuador....

An idiot held hostage and killed a pregnant girl with a knife in front of everyone on the street, this is to say the least, monstrous and this jerk deserves to be butchered with rusty nail clippers.

The bastard happened to be Venezuelan, in fact he was wanted here for homicide of at least two people.

Now Ecuadorians are literally in mobs on the streets harassing and chasing Venezuelans, kicking them out of their rooms and burning their stuffs on the streets while beating them. I'm afraid of some people I know and haven't been able to contact them.

A few days ago 4 Ecuadorians raped a woman in Spain, that mean the Spaniards should hit all Ecuadorians they see in the street and chase them out of Spain?
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AzyWng

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115307 on: January 21, 2019, 08:01:45 pm »

I've felt the way I've felt a few times before, but I've decided, may as well post it here this time. After all, not talking about it hasn't exactly produced miraculous results.

Basically, I've been wondering "What good am I?", and the only answers I've been able to provide are along the lines of "Honestly, not much, really. You can do things, but you don't, and other people your age have done things that you could have done but didn't."

Additionally, I've been thinking about how little of my life I remember save times of misfortune and failure.

For instance, I can't really remember what it was like to learn how to multiply numbers when I was in elementary school, but I do remember the time the teachers found out I didn't know how when all the other kids did. They put me in a room with a teacher and a sheet on the basics.

I spent most of my half hour or so in that room picking rocks out of my shoes, and daydreaming about things I can't really remember.

By the time the half-hour was up, the teacher who had been watching me not work walked off with another teacher to talk about how I was doing, and I remember hearing the teacher talk about how I had spent most of it "playing with [my] shoes."

I don't remember how I felt about that back comment back then. I do know that when I grew older, I felt ashamed about hearing that, and even now, I continue to feel ashamed when I think about it.

There's other things, too. Things I don't really feel the most comfortable posting about here - or for that matter, anywhere else. Not yet. One "thing" may not have even happened at all.

But, to sum up that particular thing I'm feeling sad about, it's occurred to me that, if my life were to flash before my eyes, I might have literally nothing but bad things. It's hardly the most comforting of thoughts.

One last thing before I hit "Post" so I can keep from second-guessing myself -- I've avoided posting things like this because everyone else's problems always seem so much bigger. Take LordBaal's post just above mine. I haven't been murdered or raped at all. I'm not trapped in a country where money is about as valuable as words. I'm not suffering family problems that involve genuine malice. I'm relatively well off compared to, well, a lot of people.

What right do I have to complain?

Hell, operating on that logic, I probably still don't have a right to complain. But, again, saying nothing about my feelings hasn't produced miraculous results, so, why not? Worst comes to worst, you can tell me to stop posting these things, or simply abstain from responding.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115308 on: January 21, 2019, 08:10:15 pm »

Bloody hell. I feel as though my current mood has manifested into its own life form and started posting on Bay12.
You can do things, but you don't, and other people your age have done things that you could have done but didn't."
My gods, this is probably the realest shit I have ever read. I'm glad you did hit post, because at least I can tell you that you are not alone in feeling that way.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

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Jopax

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115309 on: January 21, 2019, 10:54:59 pm »

It is 5 AM and I am doing portraits, portraits I should've done yesterday, during the day, portraits that I started at bloody midnight and could've finished hours ago but my focus and attention span are so goddamn shit that I can barely get haflway trough one before wandering off to check some random shit on the internet or watch youtube. And it's hard to peel yourself off of that shit when the majority of your work requires the internet :V
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ggamer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115310 on: January 22, 2019, 05:08:00 am »

Two of the friends I've spent a Lion's share of my time in college with might be substantially toxic individuals, in hindsight. I don't like the way either of them treats women or gay people (the fact that I'm bi might make me take this a little more personally), I don't like how they act when they drink, and I really don't think either of them bring anything positive to our friendship.

I'm sort of outta ideas on what to do though. We live pretty close so it's not easy to avoid them. Whatever I guess.

In all honesty I should be focusing on getting my ducks in a row so I can graduate already. But everyone needs emotional validation, right? Which is a complicated way of saying I just want to sluts it up to feel better, which makes it harder to focus on classwork and makes me feel worse.

On top of all that I really thought I could do the whole "closeted" thing as long as a few of my friends knew, but... Well, I've gotten too used to flirting with just about anyone, so when I'm hanging out with my brother and I run into a cute guy at the movies or w/e...

Man, I've just got a lot of irons in the fire.

Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115311 on: January 22, 2019, 05:30:56 am »

Two of the friends I've spent a Lion's share of my time in college with might be substantially toxic individuals, in hindsight. I don't like the way either of them treats women or gay people (the fact that I'm bi might make me take this a little more personally), I don't like how they act when they drink, and I really don't think either of them bring anything positive to our friendship.

I'm sort of outta ideas on what to do though. We live pretty close so it's not easy to avoid them. Whatever I guess.

In all honesty I should be focusing on getting my ducks in a row so I can graduate already. But everyone needs emotional validation, right? Which is a complicated way of saying I just want to sluts it up to feel better, which makes it harder to focus on classwork and makes me feel worse.

On top of all that I really thought I could do the whole "closeted" thing as long as a few of my friends knew, but... Well, I've gotten too used to flirting with just about anyone, so when I'm hanging out with my brother and I run into a cute guy at the movies or w/e...

Man, I've just got a lot of irons in the fire.
Remember: Irons go in the fire, ducks go in the row. Do not put irons in the ducks!

Also, you should probably just tell the dudes that their behavior is worrying and unacceptable. "You guys are dicks. And while I happen to like dicks, I do not like your kind of dicks".

And being in the closet sucks. Saying "I like balls" shouldn't have to mean mothballs.

Doomblade187

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115312 on: January 22, 2019, 07:37:51 am »

What right do I have to complain?

Hell, operating on that logic, I probably still don't have a right to complain. But, again, saying nothing about my feelings hasn't produced miraculous results, so, why not? Worst comes to worst, you can tell me to stop posting these things, or simply abstain from responding.
You have every right to complain. :) This is the sad thread, it's what it's here for.  To vent, to talk about things that made you feel negative emotions.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115313 on: January 22, 2019, 10:28:30 am »

Never occurred to me before but Youtube ads can probably be quite harmful to a person's mental health. Like, you're freaking out about whatever and desperately trying to bring up some meaningful song or other to calm yourself the fuck down, only to instead be blasted with a loud and obnoxious ad for some ghastly mobile game or food delivery app.
Perhaps the mentally ill, (mobile?) internet-using population can work together and sue the shit out of Youtube for the injurious effects of its business practices. Hmmm.

In the meantime, I'm going back to Bandcamp. And maybe a li'l Soundcloud for that one song.
Gee golly I sure hope I stop feeling this way soon. I dunno if this is what people mean when they talk about panic attacks or what but I felt like despair was trying to actually, physically crush me.
So much for sleep. I think I need rescue remedy or some shit.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115314 on: January 22, 2019, 02:43:38 pm »

I feel Lonely.
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Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115315 on: January 22, 2019, 03:59:14 pm »

I feel Lonely.

*feels Eric* wow you do. Have you tried Cocoa Butter?
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WealthyRadish

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115316 on: January 22, 2019, 06:23:28 pm »

Youtube ads

I know that at least the Android version of Firefox has a number of adblockers easily available. Personally, I wouldn't browse the internet on my phone if one wasn't available.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115317 on: January 22, 2019, 06:28:49 pm »

True, I guess I'd probably be better off putting up with the clunkiness of using the browser version instead of the app if it meant being able to use an adblocker. :-\
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115318 on: January 23, 2019, 05:34:06 am »

Someone I know is improving much faster than me as an artist, it seems. That's not what makes me sad, in particular; amongst other things, I'm pretty sure he's actually studying art. What makes me sad is that it does actually bother me. It shouldn't. It's such a petty thing.
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115319 on: January 23, 2019, 10:26:03 am »

Welp, went to the Fountain House today, did absolutely fuckall. Got to see the new medical students though, we usually have a couple hanging around the building as part of their psychiatric education.

Pretty little things; obviously have no business being lumped in with the rest of the unattractive, unhygienic mumblers and foot-stampers that make up the majority of the House's clientele. And yes, I'm including myself there... My general hair situation has gone beyond "homeless person" and even "caveman", and I have now attained the noteworthy level of "caveless person". I'm also reasonably certain I took a shower last week, but one can never be entirely sure.

Makes me think back to my own days as a student, which weren't really even my days "as a student" because I wasn't officially enrolled in a degree program and had just taken the minimum of crumb-classes to qualify as a full time student; which equated to about two-three lectures a week. Ah, all the socializing I never did and interpersonal connections I never made... Just a lot of sitting at home feeling sorry for myself and the occasional failed exam, because I apparently couldn't keep up with just two classes per semester.


The prime of my life was spent hating myself and sabotaging every relationship I got close to having, and now it's all downhill from there. Never had a job, never had an education, probably never will have an education. There's some hope I might get out of this fucked-up romantic relation I'm in now, but I'm already way out of the desirable dating bracket and will likely end up settling for another semi-abusive relationship further down the line.

Shit, I can't even donate blood or organs because my stress meds and antidepressants disqualify me.
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