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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 4635738 times)

pikachu17

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115935 on: July 10, 2019, 11:51:00 am »

Showing age by assuming current 10 year olds have even heard of Sonic. Let's face it, most people drawing creepy Sonic fanart are probably 35+
I own a Genesis, so I think my kids will, at least.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2019, 11:52:31 am by pikachu17 »
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Great Order

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115936 on: July 11, 2019, 03:34:48 pm »

I've worked out the cycle of my anxiety.

Heightened anxiety for however long it lasts. A thought or some event that seems to make my brain snap back to normal non-anxious functioning, which lasts a few days to a week. This is followed by a day or two of some kind of minor mania, then the descent into anxiety happens again, usually because I said something stupid or daft during said mania and can't stop obsessing over how stupid it was and how everyone's going to think I'm an idiot and so on and so forth.

At least I've got an assessment appointment in six days, and I'm going to be able to go to the doctor's to see about getting some different anti-anxiety medication tomorrow.

Anyway, needless to say I'm presently in the mania-anxiety stage right now, and I really need to talk to someone about it. Not my family, it's not that they don't care but they aren't the people I want to turn to here. I've got a small list of friends I'd like to talk to about it, but none of them are really available right now and I definitely can't talk to any of them in person since they're all half a country away at best.

Why is my brain so fucking broken? I bloody hate the thing, it can't just produce serotonin like a normal, functional human being's can it?
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Great Order

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115937 on: July 13, 2019, 12:14:43 pm »

Well, today's been the perfect fucking punctuation for how my summer holiday has been thus far.

I drove all the way to Liverpool, a 2.5-3 hour journey, to a Jitsu regional because I was both missing my friends and wanting to do Jitsu.

The satnav on my phone and the portable one both were incredibly insistent on sending me down a road I couldn't go down to get there because there was a fucking barrier in the way. Then I tried to find parking. Every fucking place that the sat nav said was parking actually wasn't (It was basically sending me to random streets without any parking on them). The roads in Liverpool are confusing. The pedestrians were suicidal (I had at least 10 of the fucking morons just walk out in front of my car). The other drivers were retarded arseholes (I got honked at on three separate occasions because I didn't go out onto the main road because doing so would have driven me straight into the side of a car). The stress of all of this tipped my anxiety over the edge and I had my first ever panic attack. In a city I've never been in before. In a city I've never been in before where it feels like everything, right down to the fucking traffic lights (literally, and I mean literally, every traffic light in the city turned red as I approached), are being malicious.

In essence, I spent £50 of fuel, £10 of service station food/drinks, and a whole 9 hours of my day, to drive somewhere I've never been, have the general misery that's been my summer (anxiety, loneliness, general sadness, the little things I've hoped for be shat on) pretty much condensed into one day, and have a panic attack.
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hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115938 on: July 13, 2019, 01:12:49 pm »

Did you at least get to see/do jitsu?
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Great Order

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115939 on: July 13, 2019, 03:08:39 pm »

I had a panic attack for the first time in my life. I wasn't really in a state to do *anything*. That includes driving, but I didn't have much choice in that matter if I wanted to actually make it home.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115940 on: July 15, 2019, 07:18:59 pm »

We now return to your regularly scheduled self-loathing.
Jeez, I had a couple of comparatively more-or-less alright days and now it seems I'm making up for lost time.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115941 on: July 16, 2019, 02:54:30 am »

My department's tutoring system is completely Arx-blind. Somehow, I have failed to receive every single major communication. It's quite the headache. Also, when I woke up this morning the cold that has been lying half-dormant in my throat for a while had decided to make a comeback. Now my throat hurts and I want to vomit.
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I am on Discord as Arx#2415.
Tu jee, veerey / Toofano se lad ke [Fight, brave one / Fight those internal storms and]
Tu jeet, veerey / Zakhmo se bhid kar bhi tu [Win, brave one / Weather those wounds and]
Firse uthega yaara [Rise once again]

Mel lives again! Fight monsters; fight crime; fight compound interest...

Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115942 on: July 21, 2019, 02:26:53 pm »

Just cracked my fucking phone screen because I for some reason decided to wear these stupid pyjama pants I was given, pants that are several sizes too large for me and as such are too loose to support the weight of my phone, forcing me to carry it in the pocket of the hoodie I'm wearing instead, a pocket too small to properly carry a big-ass modern phone.
So I'm washing my hands and it goes SMACK on the floor and somehow despite the case and the screen protector there's a goddamn crack in it. Fuckssakes. Perfectly good phone. Might as well just throw it in the trash.
Throw my whole fucking life in the trash.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

scourge728

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115943 on: July 21, 2019, 03:15:12 pm »

Nothing I do is entertaining me or holding my interest for long anymore... I just feel numb now, although that is new

Ulfarr

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115944 on: July 21, 2019, 03:58:22 pm »

Perfectly good phone. Might as well just throw it in the trash.

If you don't want to buy a new one and assuming that other than the broken screen the phone works well, I would suggest lookinkg for an online guide on how to replace the broken parts and if there someone is selling them. Smartphones can be delicate things but assembling one from its pieces isn't that complicated.

I've fixed my phone's screen twice this way :D

Arx

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115945 on: Today at 03:46:19 am »

Yeah I've stripped down and tweaked my phones multiple times. It's surprisingly easy, most of the time.
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I am on Discord as Arx#2415.
Tu jee, veerey / Toofano se lad ke [Fight, brave one / Fight those internal storms and]
Tu jeet, veerey / Zakhmo se bhid kar bhi tu [Win, brave one / Weather those wounds and]
Firse uthega yaara [Rise once again]

Mel lives again! Fight monsters; fight crime; fight compound interest...

JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115946 on: Today at 07:26:20 am »

I woke up this morning wondering if the formative experiences surrounding my early childhood are in fact the real reason behind all my problems so deeply into adulthood. That I can rationalize and think and navel gaze all I like, but the real problem lays buried deep in my own subconscious, invisible to me no matter how deep my introspection, and that it is there where the primal beliefs that guide all my thoughts and actions and wants and needs and everything about me, like a malicious author writing out my life from a higher plane of existence that I can't interact with or fight against.

This line of thought isn't new, but its a reminder of something I've always feared, that my whole life was rigged from the start to be a failure. That the unhappiness, loneliness, and frustrating feeling of inevitability of it all was in fact determined right from the start and there was nothing that could be done, no other way it could have panned out, and that I actually can't fight back against it.

That's a lot of words to use to basically just blame my parents or the society that created me, but that's basically it.
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Iduno

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115947 on: Today at 08:08:39 am »

That's a lot of words to use to basically just blame my parents or the society that created me, but that's basically it.

I know I can blame my parents for me being broke-brained, but that doesn't actually help anything (except not feeling guilty never talking to them again).

Same as I can blame both the state and insurance lobbyists for making it legal to take money for insurance and still refuse to let me have my brain meds, but I still can't have them. And I can feel myself slipping, and it's terrifying.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #115948 on: Today at 08:09:25 pm »

Perfectly good phone. Might as well just throw it in the trash.

If you don't want to buy a new one and assuming that other than the broken screen the phone works well, I would suggest lookinkg for an online guide on how to replace the broken parts and if there someone is selling them. Smartphones can be delicate things but assembling one from its pieces isn't that complicated.

I've fixed my phone's screen twice this way :D
Oh, I know, I know - a friend of mine has the same model of phone and has successfully replaced the screen on at least one occasion. Apparently replacements only cost $40 or so.
I'm just mad. Mad at myself, at my pyjamas, at the laws of physics and life in general.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.
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