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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 5425797 times)

ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117300 on: January 04, 2020, 10:34:25 pm »

Closed trial. Can't access such info at this point.
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Eschar

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117301 on: January 04, 2020, 10:44:13 pm »

Then my eternal wrath shall, uh, wait until a more convenient time.

Anyway, the WPPPRF rises. Logging off for the night.
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ggamer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117302 on: January 04, 2020, 10:53:01 pm »

That's just depression though

wierd

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117303 on: January 04, 2020, 11:05:02 pm »

--snip--


Long Term Care (LTC) is for people with no cognitive impairment, to mild cognitive impairment, but who have some other outstanding condition that they need continual care and monitoring. (Double amputee, uncontrolled incontinence, advanced Rheumatoid Arthritis, etc.


Memory care is for people with dementia, especially those in advanced stages of dementia.


If your gran is still highly lucid during the day, but has sundowning, she might do better in an LTC than a memory care unit, as there will be people to talk to that can actually talk back with her. Advanced dementia robs the people afflicted by it from even being able to have a meaningful conversation.  Hallucinations and or delusions are things that are common in an LTC setting.  If those are related to an early dementia, then transferring to a facility with both an LTC and a memory care unit would be ideal, as they could move her as her needs progress.  However, hallucinations and or delusions are not strictly the realm of dementia, and can have other causative factors. That is why I suggest not putting her into memory care right away.  She would absolutely hate the memory care unit if she is still lucid during the day.  LTC gives her the opportunity to socialize in a much more meaningful way.
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Quaksna

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117304 on: January 05, 2020, 02:56:01 am »

Shoot, I tried to kill myself yesterday. I'm not sure of anything anymore...

You know what's worse? As I recollect it now, I absolutely don't get why I tried to do that. There's no real cause. Am I insane? Possessed? Wierd, you're some psychology guy, can you help me?

I don't feel this is some mere winter depression. I don't feel this is some adolescence nonsense. I... I don't understand anything. Not anymore. I feel horribly weak. I can't push myself to do anything. I can't even pray well anymore. I feel like I've lost everything...
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117305 on: January 05, 2020, 03:01:08 am »

(Disclaimer, I am not a psychotherapist, nor a psychologist, nor a doctor of any kind. I am merely a certified nursing assistant. Bottom rung healthcare.)

If you made a real attempt at suicide, you should consult a mental health professional, and do it now.  They can better assess you, and your needs.

Most likely they will start you on an anti-depressant, and prescribe some psychotherapy.  If, in the meantime, you have such urges or thoughts again-- immediately seek the company of another person you know or trust, and stay in their company until that urge or drive subsides.

In fact, contact friends and family NOW, while you are more lucid and in-control of your emotions.  Tell them the truth, and tell them that you need somebody to help keep you directed.



Emotions are irrational things; You are attempting to find a rational explanation for your unbalanced mental and emotional state.  Suicidal depression does not obey such things; It can be caused by all manner of underlying pathologies, both mental and medical.  This is why you need a mental health professional.  In the interim, simply having company over can radically curb such ideation, and can be obtained free of charge from friends and family in most cases.  Seek this support while you prepare to consult a mental health professional.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 03:08:01 am by wierd »
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117306 on: January 05, 2020, 06:36:45 am »

Well, uh... Good morning, thread.

What happened, Kagus?
So, this requires a little backstory...

Last year I decided to try and "get back out there" after breaking up with my ex, and I was at a place I don't generally frequent (because it's a cramped and awful sportsbar) when I caught the eyes of a gal sitting at the bar getting slobbered on by the usual sausage fest of clientele.

This gal, let's call her Sally, seemed pretty nice and open, so we started talking. And flirting. Not even subtle shit; I showed her an old picture of myself (without the beard) and she declared it "Very fuckable".

The conversation got pretty heavy pretty quickly, and I started talking a bit about my old exes and some of my other notable dating experiences, and she talked about her battle with anorexia and how when she first moved here the very first time she felt comfortable enough to go out on the town she ended up getting drugged and having her keys stolen. So... Yeah.

I felt we were hitting it off fairly well, but she said that she wouldn't be able to stay too long because she was just waiting there for her friend to arrive and then they'd head off somewhere else. That's all good, short but sweet, it'd been a nice convo... Then as the night dragged on, she mentioned that her friend was late and so she sent a message off asking what was up.

Very shortly after that, she swiveled around on her stool and grabbed a dude that was going back outside after having been in the restrooms. They exchanged a few words, then he went out and she turned to me and exclaimed "What a coincidence! That's the guy I was talking about!"... I'm not entirely sure how it's a coincidence meeting someone you were waiting for and had agreed to meet at that location, even sending a reminder that you're there and waiting... But okay. Coincidence.

I figure our night together is over and get ready to bid her a pleasant adieu, when she invites me along to sit at their table outside. Uh... Okay? Sure.

Sitting down at the table I see that it's just her, her gentleman caller, and his two buddies. It was a teensy bit awkward getting dragged into that, but we managed to work things out and talk about rock and concerts and such. The night continued, I ran errands back and forth to the bar because she'd had a fair amount to drink and wanted some water, eventually the two extra buddies had to call it a night and head home.

Around that time, the bar started closing up. Again, I figure the night's over. Sally pipes up and asks both of us "So! Where to now?", and I just kind of dumbly respond that the only nearby place that's open is one of my normal haunts. So we all pick up and, well, Sally forth.

Getting to the new location, we set our stuff down at a corner table and I ask her if she'd like another glass of water. She says she's ready for a 1664 blanc, and I go over to the bar to order drinks. Since it's one of my usual places, I get caught up talking shit with the bartenders for a little bit, but I remember that I've got drinks on the line so I cut it short and carry everything back to the table...

...where I meet the image of Sally sitting with her hand deep in the crotch of her "friend's" jeans.

Okilly dokilly, not what I was expecting... Guess I'd drastically misread the signs. Oh well, chalk it up and move on, eh?

Her friend got up and excused himself to the bathroom, and Sally reaches over to me and says "Tell me what's on your mind, and be honest!". I tell her that I was a little bit disappointed with having misled myself again. She exclaims "Oh no, no no no no... That didn't mean anything! It's just that I've had a few drinks, and people do dumb things they don't mean when they're drunk!"

I tell her not to worry about it, that it's fine and she has nothing to apologize for on my behalf... After all, heh, it's nothing I'm not used to!

...yeah, that didn't go over well. Because saying that compared her to my other dating experiences, which have been as interesting as they were unpleasant. She didn't particularly care for that.

"That's unfair, that's really unfair! That's so mean of you to say, and I don't deserve that kind of treatment!", and of course by this point I'm drunk too so I start apologizing to her for upsetting her by my being upset at her behavior... Yeah.

The night ends kind of jankily after that, but she gives me a big hug and reiterates that it "Didn't mean anything", while telling me that she really wants to have me in her life and that we need to grab a coffee sometime. I explain that I'm just about to fly to Poland for a week, but that I'd let her know when I was getting back and we could see about something then. "Please do", she says, and then disappears into the night along with her "friend".


The Poland trip comes and goes, I fire off a message to her saying that I'm back in town for the weekend, and if we shouldn't grab that coffee she'd talked about. "Yeah, yeah! But not this weekend, because there's a family thing and then she's going to see her brother, and later in the week is kinda tricky because she's heading off to Sweden with a friend but she wasn't sure which day that was going to be, so...", and I tell her that's fine and to just get back to me when she's got time for it.

A couple weeks go by and I've heard diddly from her. I figure she's probably just dropped me but doesn't want to come right out and say as much. Again, that's fine, chalk it up and move on... Not the first time I've been ghosted either, not gonna be the last either.


Then one evening I'm sitting at the bar where we ended that fateful night, scrolling through my messenger contacts, and I see that she's online. "Hah! What a debacle..." I chuckle to myself while I reminisce about the whole ordeal.

*Ding!*, new message! From Sally: "Hey, what's up?"

...uh. What? I reply saying that I was just hanging out having a couple weekend beers. "Okay cool, I've just had a couple drinks at home and was thinking about heading out! Can I meet up with you there?" ...what?

So I fire back a text saying "I've honestly got half a mind to just blow you off considering how I've been treated, but I'm a gullible enough fellow to believe that you haven't just scrolled your way down the list until hitting my name, so sure... I'm at [Bar2]".


She shows up, we exchange a couple pleasantries, and then she slaps me with "So what did you mean by that message?"

Me: "Well, think about it... Our last meeting didn't exactly end on a high note, but you said you really wanted to grab a coffee sometime and make things up. I let you know when I was available for that, and then I don't hear anything from you for two weeks. What exactly am I supposed to think?"

Her: "Wh- no, oh no... You're seriously overthinking this- I mean, really overthinking this. Is that a problem you have? Do you overthink things a lot? Is that why you've had trouble with women in the past, because you overthink things too much?"

...what the actual.


Somehow, the conversation didn't just immediately end after that whopper. Shit, I even go so far as to recommend that we start from scratch, clean slate and all that. She begrudgingly agrees, we shake hands and introduce ourselves again, and she immediately heads off to the bar and finds a group of three strapping young lads that we're now apparently going to sit with.

Hilariously though, two of the three lads were gay, and as such were far more interested in talking with me than with her. The look on her face was absolutely priceless...

With that not having worked out as planned, she dragged the one straight guy along and we both bought her drinks because she was "Running kind of low on money at the moment". The night carries on, she sits us with another group of men, and then in a quiet and boozy moment she leans over to me and says "You know, you're an open and honest person, and I really appreciate that, so I feel I need to be open and honest too, and I hope you can appreciate that I'm being open and honest about this because it's good to be open and honest..."

Okay, hell of a lead-in there, Sally... Hit me with it.

"...so I just need to tell you that I've been dating a guy. I hope you understand."

...well, uh, I do understand the general concept of that... But then why the fuck are you here?


At that point I've had just about enough so I finish up and leave, saying goodbye to her as I passed her while she was standing and talking to yet another group of men. Didn't hear much of anything from her aside from the occasional attention-seeking Facebook selfie, and decided to bring the saga to a close by unfriending her (I didn't feel like feeding her ego by being another one of the multi-thousand men on her friends list).

Or, well... I thought I brought it to a close.


Last night I'd been out with my friends, then they had to catch the late bus home so they left and I resumed talking shit with the bartender. Chatted a little bit with a gal that was ordering drinks, we both thought the other looked familiar, and it's revealed that we have indeed met before (she's the girlfriend of the brother of a guy I know), so she invites me over to sit with her friends. We all chat a bit there, and then for some godsforsaken reason everyone decides to go to that horrid cramped sportspub where I first met Sally.

We're there for a bit, move over to a corner table, then I get bumped into from behind by the person sitting at the next table, and as I turn around for the ritual of mutually excusing each other, I recognize who it is. It's Sally. And she recognizes me, too.

"Did you remove me on Facebook?"

"Yep, I figured we really didn't have anything to do with each other"

And then the floodgates open... Oh, I'd ruined her night now, thanks for ruining her night. Why was I so obsessed with punishing her for having made one little mistake? Was I psychotic? Why was I so heartless that I couldn't even think of giving her a second chance?

Now I should also mention that I have, as a defense mechanism, a reasonably twisted sense of humor. You can either weep at the tragedy of life, or laugh at the absurdity of it. I aim towards the latter, so with her sitting there and hurling vitriol at me I just kinda had to start cracking up.

"And you're laughing at it! Oh my god, what is wrong with you? Are you manic? You're some kind of manic freak... And you're still laughing! Why are you laughing?!"

So yeah, more of me being psychotic, socially retarded, manic, sadistic, emotionally abusive etc... There's a brief interlude where she asks if the people I'm sitting with are my friends, and I say that they're acquaintances. So she slings a lovely "You know, it says a lot about you that you're just out here, drinking, without any friends. And it also says a whole lot about you that you don't even have any friends here!" at me to really sweeten the deal.

I try ending the interaction a few times, but she clearly hasn't said her piece yet... I even physically just turned away from her at one point, but then she jabbed me in the back and picked up again with a continuation of where she left off, and why wasn't I letting her explain herself, and she was really sorry about what had happened before and why wasn't I letting her apologize, and I was being extremely cruel, etc. etc.


I told her to leave me alone. Repeatedly. Loudly. Eventually, finally, she trailed off after I tried ignoring her again. I saw her leaving shortly after. I had, after all, completely ruined her night!



So, yeah... For the most part, I was actually doing fairly well with just not taking to heart what she was saying. She was just some random crazy person, I could write her off.

But then a little while later another gal sat down at that table, and I recognized her too... Not nearly as juicy of a story, but still not a particularly pleasant one, and I started thinking that maybe I am the asshole. So I decided to call it a night.

Il Palazzo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117307 on: January 05, 2020, 07:06:16 am »

1. Don't try to bed manipulative self-obsessed girls, no matter how good they look or how lonely you feel.
2. I imagine all those conversations in Norwegian, and they sound hilarious in my mind.
3. Love me some light-hearted drama after hearing a man had tried to off himself (or herself).
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dragdeler

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117308 on: January 05, 2020, 07:07:52 am »

You criminal how do you dare not dedicate an infinite well of patience on an attention seeking gaslighter?

Even if there were somehow a side of things where you'd somehow take an equal amount of blame... How hard can it be to avoid eachother. But no talk to me me me, now now now, eventhough I'm irrationally angry, so I can at least force a soundbit out of you that allows me to judge your action on my confines, if not manipulate you into doing what I want.


She couldn't fathom that you do not want to invade the romantic life of a third party, since the guy must be as unimportant to you as he is to her: this is why YOU overthink.

good riddance
« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 07:11:17 am by dragdeler »
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Doomblade187

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117309 on: January 05, 2020, 07:24:38 am »

Eschar, psychosomatic sensations like that are definitely cause to go see a mental health professional, if you aren't already.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117310 on: January 05, 2020, 07:31:11 am »

Reminds me of a girl I was  dating a few years ago. Turns out she actually had a boyfriend back home. When confronted she too replied that it wasn't any of my business and that I should stop overthinking things (and sleep with her). Which tbh wasn't my kind of thing.

I think there is a difference in that this one was kind of fond of me  and we remain sort-of friends. It's just she was really promiscuous and on top of that she likes to hedge bets in regards to relationships. She also has some really cooky ideas on what she can and she can't do which she apparently copied from "how I met your mother" 😒

Maybe she even has a point, I'm probably too laid  back (even a bit puritan at times, though not in a religious way). On the other hand I have a point too, I think. One she was complaining about the way men were treating her as an one-night-stand. The problem, from my POV, is that the way she behaves she will scare off guys who want something more serious (aka: her ex, myself) while attracting people interested in one night stands.
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Viva Pinata establishes that the things bothering you in life are weeds that have to be killed. Bejewelled puts you into a coldly calculating mindset. In KSP you learn how to build and operate a ballistic missile.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117311 on: January 05, 2020, 10:11:46 am »

Laid back = puritan? I thought those were antonyms. But I wouldn't think it unusual for people be self-sabotaging; a mindset of self-hatred that wants one thing while compelling you to do the opposite is something I'm too familiar with.
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hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117312 on: January 05, 2020, 10:25:06 am »

Yeah, Kagus, youíre totes not the asshole in that sitch. You donít need someone like that in your life, it seems like an awful lot of effort for being, at best, a fuckbuddy at her convenience.

Now if you want that, fair play to you, but there are probably less unpleasant people to do it with.
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Reelya

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117313 on: January 05, 2020, 11:01:19 am »

I notice in the story that most of the time it was Kagus following the girl around, it was really her calling the shots. Notice that you kept hanging around even though she's flirting with other guys, this sends the message that you'll put up with that shit.

Don't pay so much attention to them and you may have a better strike rate. Notice that as soon as you explicitly stopped paying attention that's when she turned into the attention-seeker. That's what that negging idea is about, I think: you make a point to stop paying attention then if they're actually interested you will get attention from them instead. Really, it's just a word for the male version of "hard to get". Don't be a push-over basically.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/loves-big-secret-play-hard-to-get-8395973.html

It is a game, and part of that is a back and forth with who's paying attention to whom. If the girl you likes chats to other dudes then you might try chatting to a different girl. If the first girl actually likes you then she'll come and get your attention, but if not you just dodged a bullet and now have a shot with the second girl.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 11:11:10 am by Reelya »
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #117314 on: January 05, 2020, 11:20:00 am »

Yeeeah, dunno how much I really want to learn as far as attracting girls like her is concerned...

I was already pretty done with her after the first time around, but was willing to give her a chance to turn that around at a potential coffee date. Buuut then the second encounter came around, and I really just wanted to see how far the shit circus would actually go.


Even so, I have a very long history of reacting poorly to people saying mean things to/about me, so writing off her broadcast of crazy and not caring about what she thinks of me has been harder than it should have been. I've been doing a pretty good job though! For me, anyways...
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